


The Sight - {REWRITTEN}

by ShummTheChumm



Series: {Red and Silver : PO3 REWRITE} [2]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Death, Blind Character, Canon Divergence - Book Series: The Power of Three, Canon Rewrite, Dark Forest (Warriors), Fantasy, Gen, Inspired by Warriors - Erin Hunter, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Rewrite, Rewrite of Warriors - Erin Hunter, Tags May Change, Warriors - Erin Hunter Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 55,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShummTheChumm/pseuds/ShummTheChumm
Summary: **PO3 REWRITE/CANON FIX-IT**The time has come for three kits of ThunderClan, Hollypaw, Jaypaw, and Lionpaw, to become apprentices. Grandchildren of the great leader Firestar, all three possess unusual power and talent. But dark secrets surround them, and a mysterious prophecy hints at trouble to come. The warrior code is danger of being washed away by a river of blood, and all the young cats' strength will be needed if the Clans are to survive.**ON HIATUS!! FOR REVISION!! WILL RETURN IN 2021**(Tdlr; fixing the ableism, but with a twist!)
Relationships: Brambleclaw/Squirrelflight (Warriors), Brightheart/Cloudtail (Warriors), Firestar/Sandstorm (Warriors), Hawkfrost/Leafpool (Warriors), Leafpool & Squirrelflight (Warriors)
Series: {Red and Silver : PO3 REWRITE} [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874839
Comments: 23
Kudos: 112





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> read the pre-"Sight" prolouge here!:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25276768  
> (seriously it'll help later on)

Muddied tree roots shaped a small opening. In the shadows beyond, the knotted tendrils cradled the smooth soil floor of a cave, hollowed out by moons of wind and water.

A lone cat padded up the steep path toward the opening, narrowing his eyes as he neared. His flame-colored pelt glowed in the moonlight, and orange seemed to bounce off of the stone walls. His ears twitched, and the bristling of his fur gave away his unease as he sat down at the mouth of the cave and curled his tail across his paws. “You asked me to come.”

From the shadows, a pair of eyes blinked at him--eyes as blue as water reflecting the bold summer sky. A gray tom, scarred by time and battle, was waiting in the entrance.

“Firestar,” the warrior stepped forward and brushed the ThunderClan leader’s cheek with his white-flecked muzzle. “I have to thank you.” His mew was hoarse with age, though his eyes were bright and alert. “You have rebuilt the lost Clan. No cat could have done better.”

“There’s no need for thanks.” Firestar dipped his head bashfully. “I only did what I had to do.”

The old warrior nodded, blinking thoughtfully. “Do you think you have been a good leader for ThunderClan?” 

Taken aback, Firestar blinked. “I..don’t know.” he murmured. “It hasn’t been very easy, but no matter what, I have always tried to do what is right for the whole of the Clan.”

“No cat would doubt your  _ loyalty _ ,” the old tom rasped. “But how  **far would it go?** ”

Firestar tensed. His eyes glittered uncertainly as he searched for the words to answer.

The old warrior flicked his tail. “There are difficult times ahead,” he went ahead before Firestar could choke out his reply. “And your loyalty will be tested to the utmost. Sometimes the destiny of one cat is not the destiny of the whole Clan.”

Suddenly, the old cat rose stiffly to his paws and stared past Firestar. Despite the Thunderclan leader sitting stunned in front of him, he barely seemed to acknowledge him anymore. His eyes bore into the beyond; somewhere far past anything the ginger tom could comprehend.

When his mouth opened again, the ancient tint was smoothed from his voice, as though some other cat spoke through his tongue.

“ **_There will be three, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws._ ** ”

“I-I don’t understand,” Firestar backed away, unnerved. “‘ _ Kin of my kin _ ? Why are you telling me this?”

The old warrior blinked away the distant gleam in his eyes, fixing his gaze once more on Firestar. 

“You must tell me more!” Firestar demanded. “How can I decide what I ought to do if you don’t explain?”

The old cat took a breath, but when he spoke it was only to say, “Farewell, Firestar. In the seasons to come, remember me.”

~

Firestar jerked awake, his belly tight with fear. After a few rapid breaths, he relaxed when he saw the familiar stone walls of his den in the hollow--by the lake. Morning sunlight streamed through the split in the rock. The warmth on his fur soothed him, and he soon sunk back into his nest. Beside his lay his mate, Sandstorm, who continued to doze peacefully. Firestar wondered if the beige she-cat ever had any unwarranted prophetic dreams as he did. 

He shook his head, trying to dislodge the dream, but the words of the old warrior clung like fleas to his brain. It was no ordinary dream, for he remembered being in that cave as clearly as if it had happened a moon ago, rather than the many, many seasons he had lived since then. When the old warrior cast his strange prophecy, Firestar’s daughters had not been born and the four Clans had still lived in the forest. The prophecy had followed him on the Great Journey; over the mountains and had settled with him in his new home by the lake; and every full moon, the memory of it returned to fill his dreams. Even Sandstorm, who still slept next to him, knew nothing of the words he had shared with the ancient cat.

He gazed out from his den at the waking camp below. His deputy, Brambleclaw, was stretching in the center of the clearing, flexing his power shoulders as his claws tugged at the ground. Squirrelflight bounced toward her mate, greeting him with a purr.

_ I pray that I am wrong,  _ Firestar thought. And yet his heart felt as hollow as a log; he feared the prophecy was about to reveal itself.

_ The three have come… _


	2. Chapter 1

_ Jaykit felt the warmth leave his pelt, leaving the tiny kitten standing alone in the freezing wind. The smell of ice overpowered the scent of his comfort. He mewed out again, but it did not come for him. Sharp fangs suddenly dug into his neck and he was yanked upward. Despite his cries, the grip on him stayed firm. Snow battered his little body. His paws were stiff with frost. Why was it so cold? _

“You’ll never catch me!” a high-pitch mew sliced through his dreams. His ears perked up instinctively, and he listened to the familiar sounds of the bramble nursery. His sister and brother scrambling in play. Ferncloud lapping her dozing kits. The snow had melted away now--he was in Thunderclan. Warm and safe. He could smell his mother's nest, and though it was empty, her scent was still there. Fresh.

“Oof!” he gasped in surprise as his sister’s body landed heavily on top of him “Watch out!”

“You’re away at last!” she rolled off of him and pushed her hind paws into his flank. With a leap, she twisted away, grasping for something out of Jaykit’s reach.

_ Mouse!  _ Jaykit could smell it! His brother and sister must be playing catch with fresh-kill newly bought into camp. Had the dusk patrol come back already? He sprang to his paws and quickly stretched. He felt his bones  _ click  _ and  _ pop _ . 

“Catch this, Jaykit!” Hollykit mewed. The mouse whizzed past his ear. 

“Slow slug!” she teased as he twisted around too late to grab it. 

Lionkit’s thundering pawsteps shook the Nursery floor slightly. “I’ve got it!” he called. Jaykit narrowly had enough time to tumble out of his brother’s path. The large kit pounced on the fresh-kill, sending another wave of movement through the packed earth floor.

Jaykit wasn’t going to let his brother steal the sweet prize from him so easily. He might be the smallest in the litter, but he was fast! He lept at Lionkit, knocking him out of the way and reaching out to grab the mouse.

He clumsily skidded and rolled around, feeling a sharp jolt of alarm as he realized that he hadn’t landed on moss. The squirming warmth of Ferncloud’s own two tiny kits wiggled underneath him. Ferncloud gave him a shove, pushing him off and away with her hind paws. 

Jaykit felt a flash of fear. “Have I hurt them?”

“Of course not,” Ferncloud snapped. Jaykit winced. ”You’re too small to squash a flea!” Jaykit heard her bedding shift slight as she pulled Foxkit and Icekit closer. “But you three are getting too rough for the nursery!”

“Sorry, Ferncloud.” Hollykit mewed.

“Sorry…” Jaykit echoed, apologetic even though Ferncloud’s comment on his size had stung him. At least the queen’s anger would not last. She would easily forgive the kits she had suckled--when Squirrelflight’s milk had not come, it was the queen who had fed Jaykit and his siblings in the moons before Foxkit and Icekit were born. They were like another litter of kits to her.

“It’s about time Firestar made you apprentices and moved you to the apprentice den,” Ferncloud meowed.

“If only.” Lionkit pouted.

“It won’t be long,” Hollykit pointed out. “We’re almost six moons old!” 

A familiar surge of excitement as he imagined becoming a warrior’s apprentice. He could barely wait to begin his training! But even without seeing Fernclud’s face, he could sense a flicker of doubt that ebbed through the queen’s pelt. He knew she was looking at him with pity in her eyes. His fur bristled in frustration and he dug his soft claws into the ground. He was just as ready to become an apprentice as Hollykit and Lionkit! 

Ferncloud answered Hollykit, seemingly unaware that Jaykit had sensed her moment of unease. “Well, you’re not six moons yet! And until you are, you can do your playing outside!” she ordered. 

“Yes, Ferncloud.” Lion replied bashfully.

Jaykit felt a nudge. “Come on, Jaykit.” Hollykit urged. “Bring the mouse with you.” Jaykit listened at the soft pawsteps of his sister. He picked up the mouse delicately in his jaw. It was newly killed and soft, and he didn’t want to make it bleed--they could have a good, clean game with it yet. With Lionblaze at his heels, he scrabbled out after Hollykit. The barbs of the entrance tunnel raked satisfyingly at his fur; sharp enough to tug at his pelt but not so sharp that they hurt. 

Outside, the air smelled crisp and frosty. Jaykit shivered. Firestar was sharing tongues with Sandstorm below highledge. Dustpelt sat with them.

“We should be thinking about expanding the warriors’ den,” the dark tabby advised his leader. “It’s crowded enough already, and Daisy and Sorreltail’s kits won’t be apprentices forever.”

_ Nor will we!  _ Thought Jaykit proudly.

Brightheart and Cloudtail were grooming each other in a pool of sunlight on the other side of the clearing. Jaykit could hear the steady lapping of their tongues like water dripping from a rain-soaked leaf. Like all the ThunderClan cats, their pelts were leaf-bare thick, but the muscles beneath had grown lean with scarce prey and hard hunting.

Hunger was not the only hardship leaf-bare had brought. Molepaw, one of Sorreltail’s kits, had passed from a cough that hadn’t responded to Leafpool’s herbs, and Rainwhisker had been killed during a storm, struck by a falling branch.

Brightheart paused from her washing. “How are you today, Jaykit?”

Jaykit dropped the mouse between his legs, safe from Hollykit’s paws. “I’m fine,  _ of course. _ ” Why did Brightheart have to make such a fuss over him? His pelt prickled with irritation. He’d only been sleeping in the nursery, not raiding out ShadowClan territory! Was she always keeping her one good eye on him? Indignant, Jaykit flung the mouse high over Hollykit’s head.  _ I’ll show her that I’m just as strong as Lionkit and Hollykit! _

Again, Lionkit thundered past him and grappled with Hollykit to be the first one to catch it. His siblings squealed and slapped one another, rolling in a pile of mewling and fluff. Jaykit got into a crouch to join their squabble, but Squirrelflight’s voice sounded from the side of the nursery. “You should show more respect for your prey!” she scolded. Their mother was busy pressy leaves into the gaps in the prickly walls that surround the queen’s den.

Daisy was helping her. “Kits will be kits.” the cream-colored she-cat purred indulgently.

Jaykit’s nostrils flared at Daisy’s strange scent. It was different from the Clanborn cats’, and some of the warriors still referred to her as a kittypet because she had once lived in the horseplace and eaten Twoleg food. The she-cat wasn’t a warrior, no, far from it. She showed no sign of ever wishing to leave the nursery, but her kits Mousepaw, Hazelpaw, and Berry were apprentices, and it seemed to Jaykit that they were as Clanborn as any of his Clanmates. Admiration swelled in his chest as he remembered how hard-working the three apprentices were. They will make fine warriors someday.

“They won’t be kits much longer,” Squirrelflight told Daisy. “Lionkit is almost as tall as me!”

“All the more reason to enjoy them how they are now,” Daisy joked.

Jaykit purred at the she-cat. Though Squirrelflight was his birth-mother, it had been Daisy who had warmed him and washed him alongside Ferncloud when Clan duties had forced his mother from spending much time with them. Squirrelflight had quickly returned to her warrior duties soon after Jaykit and his siblings had been born. Though she still had a nest in the nursery, the ginger queen had preferred to sleep in the warrior’s den most of the time. Over the past few moons Squirrelflight had actually been sleeping less and less in the nursery. If anything Ferncloud and Daisy had acted more motherly than Squirrelflight had the opportunity to. 

_ She probably didn’t want to wake us when she left on early patrols.  _ Jaykit reasoned. 

“Can you feel the draft now, Ferncloud?” Squirrelflight called around the nursery wall. 

“No.” Ferncloud’s voice drifted out through the tangle of branches. “We’re as warm as fox cubs in here.”

“Good.” Squirrelflight voiced. The sound of her shaking pelt echoed a little as she gazed at the sheer stone cliffs that enclosed the camp on almost every side. “But the frost might have loosened some stones, and I promised Brambleclaw I’d help him check for loose rocks around the hollow.”

“Loose rocks?” Daisy gasped.

“It’s good to have such solid defenses.” Squirrelflight’s voice echoed a little as she gazed at the sheer stone cliffs that enclosed the camp on almost every side. “But we don’t want them falling into the camp.”

Jaykit’s attention was distracted by the bitter stench of mouse bile that had wafted from the elder’s den. Leafpool must be removing a tick from Longtail or Mousefur. A much nicer oder snatched Jaykit’s attention back.  _ Mouse!  _ The sound of excited paws entered camp, and Jaykit realized that it was two of Daisy’s kits--Mousepaw and Hazelpaw! The kitten followed their pawsteps until they dropped their catch at the fresh-kill pile. 

“Looks like you did well, Hazelpaw!” Dustpelt’s voice broke through. “You both did.” Both apprentices purred, and Jaykit noticed how much they sounded like their mother, their voices muffled by their thick, soft pelts.

A sudden rush of wind and fur knocked Jaykit off his paws.

“Are you playing with us or not?” Hollykit demanded.

Jaykit leaped up, shaking loose pebbles from his pelt. “Of course I am!”

“Well, Lionkit’s got the mouse, and he won’t let me have it!” Hollykit complained.

“Let’s get him then!” Jaykit hared across the clearing towards his brother. He bundled into Lionkit and pressed him into the frosty earth while Hollykit dragged the mouse from Lionkit’s paws.

“Unfair!” Lionkit protested. He squirmed under Jaykit’s paws.

“We don’t have to be  _ fair _ .” Hollykit squeaked triumphantly. “We’re not in StarClan yet!”

“And you never  _ will  _ be if you keep playing with food that way!” a voice cut in. Stonefur had paused beside them on his way to the warriors’ den. His words were stern, but his tone was warm. “It’s leaf-bare. We should thank StarClan for every morsel.”

Lionkit finally wiggled from underneath Jaykit. “We’re just practicing our hunting skills!”

“Yeah!” Jaykit agreed, sitting up. “We’ll be apprentices soon.”

Stormfur was silent for a moment; then he stretched forward and gave Jaykit a quick lick between the ears. “Of course,” he murmured, “I was forgetting.”

Frustration flared sharply in Jaykit’s belly. Why did the  _ whole  _ Clan treat him like a newborn kit when he was nearly six moons old?! If they were really looking to swoon over a kitten then Icekit and Foxkit were  _ right inside of the nursery _ ! He shook his head crossly. Stormfur wasn’t even a proper ThunderClan cat! His father, Graystripe, had once been ThunderClan’s deputy, but Stormfur had grown up with his mother’s clanmates in RiverClan. Even his mate, Brook, hadn’t been born in ThunderClan. She had come from far away in the mountains. What right did he have to act superior?

Hollykit’s belly rumbled. “How about we eat this mouse instead of playing with it?”

“Eh, you two share it.” Lionkit offered. Jaykit noted the apprehension in his voice. “I’ll get something from the fresh-kill pile.”

Jaykit turned toward the heap of prey caught by the warriors that morning. A faint odor disturbed him, beneath the general aroma of food. He took in a deeper breath, opening his jaws to draw the scents into his mouth; he could smell Hazelpaw’s freshly killed thrush and Mousepaw’s mice, sweet. The blood was still warm, but there was still something else. A sour smell that made Jaykit’s tongue curl. He padded past his brother, his tail held stiffly behind him.

“What are you doing?” Lionkit asked, puzzled.

Jaykit ignored him. Nosing into the small dead bodies, his teeth snapped hold of a wren and pulled it free. “Look!” he mewed, rolling the bird over with his paw. The creature’s belly was alive with maggots.

“Ugh!” Hollykit squealed.

Leafpool emerged from the elder’s den, a wad of moss in her jaws. Jaykit could smell the mouse bile on it even over the stench of the rotten wren. She paused by the three kits. “Well spotted.” she praised them, dropping the bile-soaked moss at her paws. “I know prey is scarce at the moment, but better to eat nothing than to eat something will hurt your belly.”

“ _ Jaykit  _ found it,” Hollykit proudly told her.

“Well, he’s saved me a patient,” Leafpool meowed. “I’m busy enough as it is. Brackenfur and Birchfall have white-cough.”

“Do you want help gathering herbs?” Jaykit offered. He had never been out of the camp, and he was desperate to explore the forest. He wanted to smell the boundary markers; up till now he had tasted only the weak scents of ShadowClan and WindClan carried from the borders on the pelts of ThunderClan patrols. He was to feel the breeze, which carried the untainted scents of the forest. He wanted to learn where the markers were along each boundary so that he could defend every pawstep of his Clan’s territory.

“You could gather far more herbs with us to carry them back to camp!” Lionkit chimed in.

“You know you’re not meant to leave the camp until you’re apprentices,” Leafpool reminded them.

“But you’ll need help if there are sick cats…” Jaykit insisted.

Leafpool silenced him by flicking the tip of her tail over his mouth. “I’m sorry, Jaykit.” she meowed. “It won’t be long until Firestar gives you your apprentice names. But until then, you’ll have to wait like any other kits.”

Jaykit pouted, but he couldn’t help but understand her meaning. Their father was the CLan deputy, and their mother was Firestar’s daughter; Leafpool was reminding them, albeit  _ yet again _ , that it did not entitle them to special treatment. His tail twitched crossly. Sometimes it felt like the rest of the Clan went out of their way to make sure he and his littermates  _ never  _ got special treatment. 

_ Well,  _ Jaykit mused.  _ They always go out of their way to treat me like a kit!  _ Bitter frustration rippled through his pelt. It wasn’t fair!

“I’m sorry,” Leafpool meowed. “But that’s just the way it is.” She picked up the foul-smelling moss and padded back to the medicine den.

“Nice try,” Lionkit whispered in Jaykit’s ear. “But it looks like we’re stuck in the camp for a whole longer.” 

“Leafpool always thinks she can win us over just because she brings wool for our nests from the moorland,” Jaykit hissed, rising to his paws. “Or pieces of honeycomb to lick. Why can’t she just give us what we  _ really  _ want--a chance to explore outside the camp?”

Hollykit swished her tail over the frozen ground. Jaykit knew she too wanted to explore beyond the camp walls; just as much as he and Lionkit did. “But she’s right,” she mewed grudgingly. “We must stick to the warrior code.”

They ate, sharing the mouse and vole between them. Jaykit washed his face afterward, drawing his paw over his ears to give them a thorough cleaning, he noticed Brook emerging from the warriors’ den to join Cloudtail and Brightheart in the sun. Her pelt carried a different scent from the other warriors, the scent of mountains and tumbling water. It seemed to make her the strangest of all the cats who were not Clanborn. Was it just her scent, Jaykit wondered, or was it something  _ more  _ he sensed in the mountain she-cat--some wariness that had never never left her? He...couldn’t put his whisker on it, at least not yet, but he was sure that Brook felt out of place here in the forest.

A rustle in the thorn barrier that protected the entrance to the camp signaled Berrypaw’s return. Daisy’s third kit charged over to the fresh-kill pile and threw down his catch--a plump wood pigeon.

“Where’s Brambleclaw?” Berrypaw called out to the kits. Brambleclaw was Berrypaw’s mentor, and Jaykit could not help but feel a small pang of  _ jealousy  _ that Berrypaw spent so much time training with Brambleclaw when his own paws ached to hunt in the forest with his father.

“He’s with Squirrelflight,” Jaykit replied. “They’re checking for loose stones.” He pricked his ears, listening for the sound of his mother’s and father’s voices. He could not hear them, but the breeze blowing down from the cliff behind the medicine den carried their scent. 

“Up there,” he told Berrypaw, lifting his noses toward them.

“You’re sharp today, Jaykit!” Berrypaw meowed after a short pause (Jaykit guessed the tom had turned to look in the direction he had pointed in). “I wanted to show him my pigeon and ask him if we were doing battle training after sunhigh.”

Jealousy continued to gnaw harder in Jaykit’s belly.  _ Why can’t I be an apprentice now? _

“You must be really good at hunting...” Lionkit sighed, clearly thinking the same thing.

“It’s just practice,” Berrypaw told them. “Look.” he crouched down. “This is how you begin.”

Lionkit’s belly crushed the chilled grass as he tried to copy Berrypaw.

“Get you tail down!” Berrypaw ordered. “It’s sticking up like a bluebell!”

Lionkit’s tail slapped hard against the frozen earth.

“Now,” Berrypaw smoothly commanded. “Pull yourself forward; like a snake. Straightforward--yes! There you go!”

The sound of Hollykit’s shrill giggling interrupted the duo. “You look like you’ve got wind!” she crowed.

Lionkit gave a playful hiss and leaped at her, rolling them both onto the ground. She fought back, purring with amusement while Lionkit pummeled her belly with his hind paws.

They were so busy in their play fight that they did not notice the sudden noise outside the camp.

But Jaykit did.

Cat’s paws were pounding toward the camp entrance. Jaykit recognized the scents of Spiderleg and Thornclaw. The patrol was returning; but something was wrong. The warriors’ paws drummed the forest floor in a panicked rush, their scents reeked of fear.

Jaykit’s fur stood on end as Spiderleg and Thornclaw burst through the entrance.

Firestar and Sandstorm were on their paws in an instant. 

“What is it?” his grandfather meowed.

Spiderleg drew in a deep breath, then announced, “There’s a dead fox on our territory!”


	3. Chapter 2

“Where?” Firestar’s meow was tense.

“By the Sky Oak,” Thornclaw answered, panting. “It was killed by a trap.”

Jaykit heard loose pebbles clattering noisily down the wall of the hollow. Brambleclaw was scrambling down into the camp, followed by Squirrelflight.

“What’s happening?” he called. 

“Thornclaw and Spiderleg have found a dead fox,” Firestar turned to explain. “Killed by a trap.” 

“Male or female?”

“Female,” Spiderleg told Squirrelflight.

“There may be cubs,” Brambleclaw growled darkly.

Jaykit was puzzled. “What harm can a couple of fox cubs do?” he leaned to whisper to Hollykit.

“Cubs grow up into foxes, mouse-brain!” she hissed back, slapping him lightly with her tail. “An adult fox can  _ kill _ a cat.”

“The fox had the scent of milk on her.” Thornclaw reported.

“So there are definitely cubs.” Firestar concluded.

The warriors’ den rattled as Ashfur scrambled out. 

“Where was this trap?” Brambleclaw asked. Was that anxiety Jaykit heard in his voice? Surely his father knew enough about the Twoleg’s traps to not be scared by them? No, Jaykit decided. It wasn’t anxiety, but something else. Like the wren hidden in the fresh-kill pile, there was something rotten. Rancid almost; a darker emotion Jaykit did not recognize.

Thornclaw’s answer broke through his thoughts. “The trap is lakeside of the camp, not far from the Sky Oak.” 

“The cubs must be near,” Brambleclaw hypothesized. “Their mother will not have wandered far from them.”

“What should we do?” Ferncloud had emerged from the nursery. “We can’t let the forest be overrun by foxes! What about my kits?” Anxiety rippled from her pelt.

“We’ll find the den,” Brambleclaw reassured the panicked queen.

“If the cubs are very young, they’ll starve without their mother,” Firestar pondered. “It would be best to kill them quickly. 

Despite the graphic nature of the tom’s statement, nothing in his tone indicated any malicious or ill intent. Firestar had to do what was best for the Clan--above all.

“What if they’re old enough to survive alone?” Hollykit padded up to her grandfather, curiously.

“Then they must be driven out,” Firestar simply told her. “They can’t be allowed to settle in our territory.”

“The cubs will be hungry by now,” Ashfur stepped in. “What if they’ve ventured out of their den already?”

“They might find the camp!” Ferncloud gasped.

“The camp will remain well guarded,” Firestar promised her. “Sandstorm and I will check the old Thunderpath up to the empty Twoleg nest. Brambleclaw, you sort out the other patrols.”

And without another word, the ThunderClan leader and his mate raced away through the prickly thorn barrier that shielded the camp from the forest. Jaykit’s heart swelled; he admired how quick his grandmother and grandfather leaped into action to protect their clanmates. He imagined racing through the thorny camp entrance and into the thick forest that the apprentices had described so vividly. His paws itched as he visualized the wild underbush that would brush and tug against his pelt. The pride he would feel bringing his first catch to the fresh-kill pile, the loud praises of his clanmates after his first battle.

Never more than in this moment, did Jaykit long to be an apprentice.

“Stormfur, Brook!” Brambleclaw called. “Patrol outside the hollow! Ashfur, guard the entrance.”

Brightheart and Cloudtail paced in front of him. “What do you want us to do?”

“Head toward the ShadowClan border,” Brambleclaw commanded. “The earth is sandy there, ideal for a den. Squirrelflight will lead you. Do whatever she tells you. There may be more traps, and Squirrelflight is the best at springing them. Take Cinderpaw, but keep her close to you.”

Cloudtail called for his apprentice, but the young gray tabby was already charging across the clearing. 

Squirrelflight headed toward the entrance, but stopped by Jaykit, Hollykit, and Lionkit.

“I’ll be back soon, you lot.” she purred. “Be good for Ferncloud, alright?” Hollykit mewed in affirmation. Jaykit nodded but was cut short by his mother lovingly licking his head. He felt her warm pelt brush past him.

Brambleclaw called to Thornclaw and Spiderleg. “Go back to where you found the fox. See if you can trace its scent back to her den.”

Sorreltail’s kits Poppypaw and Mousepaw were waiting expectantly, hardly able to stand still.

“Can we go with them?” Poppypaw chirped. The chilled earth crunched rhythmically as she bounced up and down.

“Yes, but do  _ everything _ your mentors tell you,” Brambleclaw warned.

Jaykit felt their excitement crackle in the air like lightning as they headed out of the camp after Spiderleg and Thornclaw. His paws itched again, but with frustration. Nearly all the apprentices were out hunting down the fox cubs. It wasn’t fair! He might be small, but he could still fight a cub.  _ After all _ , Jaykit reasoned.  _ I was able to take on Lionkit!  _

On cue, Lionkit stormed forward. “We’re not going to be left behind!” he announced. “Dad!” 

“What?” Brambleclaw’s voice was impatient. 

“Can’t we do something to help?  _ Please _ ?” Lionkit begged. “We’re nearly apprentices.”

“‘ _ Nearly’  _ isn’t good enough,” Brambleclaw refuted. He must have seen a look of disappointment on Lionkit’s face, because his voice softened as he added, “You, Hollykit, and Jaykit can help guard the camp. I’m taking Dustpelt and Hazelpaw to search the lakeshore. We need brave cats to make sure those fox cubs don’t come into the hollow. If you scent or see anything strange, send Leafpool to fetch me at once.”

“Okay.” Lionkit mewed. His voice was a bit deflated, but he seemed excited at the prospect of helping nonetheless.

He hurried back to his littermates. “We’ve got to guard the camp,” he parroted. “In case the fox cubs try to get in.”

“You don’t think the fox cubs would  _ really _ get this far, do you?” Jaykit sneered crankily. “There must be a ThunderClan apprentice behind every tree out there. Brambleclaw’s just trying to keep us busy.”

Lionkit said nothing for a few seconds, before flopping on his rump; like a leaf that had been abruptly dropped by the breeze. “I thought he really wanted us to help…”

“You never know,” Hollykit chipped in. “The fox cub might head this way, and if they do I bet we could smell them first-- _ especially  _ with Jaykit helping.”

A surge of anger pulsed in Jaykits paws. “You’re just as bad as Brambleclaw,” he snapped. “Stop trying to pretend we’re important to the Clan where we’re not.”

Hurt shot through Hollykit’s chest, and for a moment Jaykit felt guilty. She kneaded the ground with her forepaws. “We will be important one day,” she vowed.

Lionkit suddenly shot up and turned in an excited circle, his tail fluffing out. “We’ll be important today!” he declared, “We’re going to chase those fox cubs off ThunderClan territory ourselves!”

Hollykit gasped. “But if we leave the camp without permission, we’ll be breaking the warrior code!”

“We’ll be doing it for the good of the Clan,” Lionkit stated. “How can that be against the code?”

Jaykit thought of something else. “We’re not warriors yet--we’re not even apprentices! So why do we have to obey the warrior code?”

A purr rose in Hollykit’s throat. “If we  _ did  _ chase off those fox cubs, Icekit and Foxkit would be safe,” she added.

“Exactly.” Lionkit turned tail and padded to a shady part of the thorn barrier that cut the camp off from the forest. Jaykit knew where he was heading. There was a small tunnel there that led to the place where the cats made their dirt. No one would question them using that way out. He doubted if anyone would even notice them slipping away. The clearing was deserted as the warriors and their apprentices went about their guarding and patrolling duties. The elders, Mousefur and Longtail, were tucked away in their den, and Ferncloud was hiding with Daisy in the nursery . Leafpool was busy with the two whitecough patients in her den.

His little heart pounding, Jaykit followed Lionkit through the narrow tunnel.

“No one saw us,” Hollykit whispered, close behind him. 

He smelled the dirt place and veered away from it, padding behind Lionkit as they climbed the sloping bank away from the camp. Ashfur’s pawsteps rustled the leaves outside the thorn barrier, where he was keeping guard.

“Can he see us?” Jaykit hissed.

“Not from where he is,” Hollykit reassured him “The barrier’s blocking his view.”

“And the other patrols won’t see us if we stay off the main paths,” Lionkit meowed.

“But we don’t know where the main paths are,” Jaykit interjected. The ground beneath his paws felt strange, littered with leaves and twigs, unlike the smooth, clear ground inside the hollow. 

“We can guess where they are by where the scents are the strongest,” Hollykit told her brothers. “There’s hardly any scent coming from up ahead. The slope is steep, and there aren’t any tracks through the bracken.”

“Let’s go that way, then.” Lionkit whispered.

“What do you think?” Hollykit bumped a paw into Jaykit.

“Thornclaw said they’d found the fox lakeside of the camp, which is over there.” He flicked the tip of his tail away from the slope.

“How do you know which way the lake is?” Hollykit questioned, sounding puzzled.

“I can smell the wind from the water,” Jaykit explained. “It tastes fresher than the wind from the hills or the forest.” 

The three kits ran back down the slope and began to traverse a thickly wooded rise. The ground here was damper and clung lightly to Jaykit’s paws. Jaykit guessed it had less sunshine than the other slope. He shivered.

“Not scared, are you?” Hollykit ragged.

“Of course not,” he mewed indignantly. “It’s just cold out of the sun.”

They carried on up the slope until they reached the crest where the trees thinned out. Jaykit felt the warmth of dappled sunlight flickering through the branches.

His nose flared wide in alarm. “Stop!” he warned. He stretched to sniff a bracken fond, trying to distinguish the many ThunderClan warrior scents. “The warriors come this way a lot.” He concluded. 

“I can’t see anyone,” Hollykit mumbled. 

“We’d better be careful, though,” Jaykit urged. “What if we bump into a patrol?”

“If only it were greenleaf!” Lionkit spat. Jaykit felt his brother’s large paw slam against the ground. “Then there’d be loads more undergrowth to hide in.”

“What about over there?” Hollykit suggested. “The trees are thicker…”

“...and there are brambles!” Lionkit finished.

He darted forward with Hollykit and Jaykit on his heels, away from the strong-scented bracken and into the trees beyond. The air was clearer here, less laden with ThunderClan scents. Jaykit’s tense body soon began to relax; and then he heard a familiar sound--Stormfur’s rumbling yowl.

“Brook?” the gray warrior was calling out to his mate. 

Jaykit dove to press himself against the cold earth. “Get down!” he hissed to his littermates. 

His siblings were down and bundled against him in a second, frozen with fear. If they got caught, they may never become apprentices! Jaykit’s head began to hurt with the vibrations of his thudding heart.

The ground vibrated with approaching pawsteps. They were so loud.

“They’re coming this way,” he whispered. How could they explain being this far from camp?

“Let’s hide under that holly bush!” Hollykit suggested.

Lionkit was already padding toward it, and Jaykit felt Hollykit nudge him from behind, urging him forward. He hissed crossly and shot forward after Lionkit. Prickly leaves scratched his nose and ears as Hollykit shoved him under its low branches.

“They won’t see us in here,” she whispered. 

Stormfur’s call sounded again. “Let’s head to the ShadowClan border.” The warrior’s voice sounded frighteningly close. 

Brook answered him, her low mew only tail-lengths away. “Do you think they might be using the old fox den?”

“Probably not,” Stormfur replied. “It still reeks of that she-badger Squirrelflight chased off. But it’s worth checking.”

“If only Stormfur and Brook smelled lIke ThunderClan cats, it would’ve been easier to detect them!” Lionkit complained.

“Sh!” Hollykit warned.

The warriors’ pawsteps were heading straight toward the holly bush. The branches quivered as Stormfur’s pelt brushed against them. In a final act of desperation, Jaykit flattened himself against the ground and closed his eyes.

“Come on; let’s be quick!” Stormfur urged his mate. “Then we can head back and patrol the top of the hollow.” The warriors’ pawsteps faded away.

“Let’s get out of here,” Jaykit muttered.

“Which way?” Lionkit asked.

Jaykit smelled the air, once more tasting the fresh wind from the lake. “Over there,” he mewed, pointing with his tail. 

The kits set off again, this time keeping low. Lionkit led them along a winding route through swathes of bracken and tangled undergrowth. “Through here,” he urged.

Jaykit squeezed after him into a clump of bracken, its stems so knotted that he could only just manage to haul himself through the narrow gaps. “I bet no warrior’s ever gotten through here,” he boasted, twitching his whiskers.

“They should take us out on patrols all the time!” Lionkit mewed.

“Yeah! We could explore places they’d never get close to.” Hollykit agreed.

They scrabbled under the arching roots of a sycamore, tunneling through the leaf litter like a bunch of worms. 

Jaykit stopped. His nose flared, scenting the fresh mark of Spiderleg.

“Wait!” he ordered. “Thornclaw’s patrol has just passed this way.”

Immediately the kits clambered back into the shadowy hole they had burrowed beneath the sycamore’s roots. Jaykit hissed as Lionkit’s hind leg collided into his muzzle.

“We must be heading in the right direction,” Hollykit whispered.

“That must be the Sky Oak over there,” Lionkit mewed. “It’s the tallest tree in the woods by a long way.”

“Where’s the patrol?” Jaykit asked.

“Listen!” Hollykit commanded.

Jaykit could hear the patrol thrashing around in the bracken several fox-lengths away. He tasted the air, recoiling at the stench that bathed his tongue. It was a smell he’d never met before, but it sent a fur-bristling shiver down his spine.

“Can you smell that?” he asked Lionkit and Hollykit.

“Ugh!” Lionkit spat.

“It must be the dead fox!” Hollykit guesses. “We’re near the trap.”

“Can you see it?” Jaykit asked.

Hollykit wriggled away from him. “I can see over the root!” she whispered from just above his head. “The dead fox is lying under the oak. The patrol is beyond it, searching the bracken.”

“Well they’re looking in the wrong place,” Jaykit mewed. He suddenly realized that despite the scents of the patrol and dead fox, he could detect a far subtler and sweeter smell--milk. It was right here beneath the sycamore. “The fox came past this tree,” he informed the others. “I can smell her milk-scent.”

“We’ve found her trail!” Hollykit cheered quietly. 

Lionkit squeezed from out under the root. “C’mon, let’s follow it! It’ll lead us to her cubs!”

Jaykit turned away from where Thornclaw, Spiderleg, Poppypaw, and Mousepaw were plunging through the frost-blackened undergrowth. Heading out of the sycamore roots, he padded along the scent of the milk-trail.

“Watch out!” Lionkit warned. “There are brambles ahead.”

Jaykit abruptly halted, surprised. His sense had been so fastened on the milk-scent, that he hadn’t noticed the spiky bush!

“I’ll find a way through!” Hollykit offered. She pushed into the lead and wriggled into the branches.

“But the trail leads around it,” Jaykit objected.

“We can’t afford to stay in the open,” Lionkit told him. “We’ll be able to pick up the scent on the other side, once there are brambles between us and Thornclaw’s patrol.”

Reluctantly Jaykit followed Lionkit as their sister found a narrow tunnel through the tangle of branches. The kit grumbled at the few stray twigs that dragged harshly against his fur. He was relieved when he picked up the fox’s scent quickly on the other side.

The trees were more widely spaced here. Jaykit could feel the wind tickle his fur, and sunlight reached down all the way to the forest floor, heating the dirt below his paws. Jaykit internally purred at the warmth on his pelt. The fox’s milky-scent grew stronger and as they neared a clump of bracken that shielded a small lump in the ground, Jaykit scented a new smell. The cubs?

“Wait here!” Hollykit ordered.

“Why?” Lionkit objected. 

“Just wait while I take a look behind this bracken!”

“I’m coming too,” Lionkit insisted.

“We don’t want the cubs to know we’re here,” Hollykit mewed. “If all three of us go blundering in, they’ll know something’s up and we’ll lose the element of surprise.”

“My golden pelt will blend in better against the bracken than your black fur.” Lionkit pointed out.

“What about me?” Jaykit asked.

“We won’t attack the den without you,” Hollykit promised. “But first, you and I will wait here while Lionkit finds the way in.”

Jaykit felt a twinge of frustration, but he knew Hollykit’s plan was sensible. “Come back as soon as you find it,” he called after Lionkit in a whisper as his brother disappeared into the bracken. For the first time he wondered if taking on the fox cubs was a wise idea. But how else was he going to persuade the Clan that there was no need to treat him like a helpless kit? And just like that, Jaykit swallowed his apprehension. They  _ needed  _ to do this.

He strained his ears for the sound of Lionkit returning. It seemed an age before his brother finally pushed his way out of the bracken.

“The main entrance to the den is right behind this clump.” Lionkit whispered, shaking leaves from his pelt. “But there’s a smaller entrance on the other side of the lump of earth--probably an escape route--that leads to the back.”

“Are the cubs inside?” Jaykit asked.

“I didn’t go in, but I could hear them crying for food.”

“They must still be young, then,” Hollykit guessed. “Otherwise they’d have come out by now.”

“It’ll be easier to flush them out if we go down the escape passage,” Lionkit proposed. “If we rush them, the surprise will be enough to get them out of the den, and then we can chase them toward the border.”

“Which way is the border?” Hollykit asked.

Lionkit snorted impatiently. “There’ll be a border whichever way we drive them!” he snapped. “ThunderClan territory doesn’t go on forever. Let’s get on with it, before Thornclaw finds them and takes all the glory.”

He surged away into the bracken before either Jaykit or Hollykit could get a word in. He led them up the slope, out of the bracken, and over the top of the leaf-strewn mound of earth.

“The escape route is here,” he announced, skidding to a halt.

“It’s no bigger than a rabbit hole!: Hollykit mewed in surprise.

“Perhaps that’s what it used to be,” Lionkit dismissively replied. “Who cares, so long as we can fit down it?”

Thornclaw’s meow sounded in the trees not far away. The warrior patrol must have given up searching the bracken near the dead fox and were heading toward the mound of earth.

“Hurry!” Lionkit hissed. “Or Thornclaw will find the cubs first!”

Taking a deep breath, Jaykit plunged into the hole. Its earthen sides pressed against his pelt as he slid down it. He didn’t mind that there would be no light down here; he trusted his nose to lead him into the den. He could feel Lionkit pressing behind him and pushed onward until he exploded into the foxes’ den.

The air was warm and stank of fox--more than one. Jaykit let out a threatening hiss. Lionkit, at his side in an instant, spat ferociously, and Hollykit gave a vicious yowl.

Jaykit could not see the foxes, but as soon as he heard their claws scrape along the den’s floor, he realized that they were  _ far  _ bigger than they had expected. A hot blast of fear shook his little body as the cubs let out a shrieking cry.

“They’re huge!” wailed Lionkit.

“Let’s get out of here!” Jaykit screeched.

He spun and shot back up the escape tunnel. The scalding breath of the fox cub hit his tail fur. Were Hollykit and Lionkit trapped in the den? He couldn’t afford to stop and turn to find out. The fox cub’s jaws were snapping at his heels as it forced him out of the hole. 

Wild with terror, Jaykit hurtled down the bank, crashing through the bracken. “Thornclaw!” he yowled.

The warrior did not answer, and Jaykit fled toward the bramble thicket. He hoped the thorns would stop the fox, but sounds of snapping branches and crunching leaves followed him through the bush. Thorns tore at Jaykit’s nose and ears, but the fox plunged through them as though racing through grass. He floundered on, tearing free of the brambles and running for camp. He could smell the familiar scents of the hollow and headed straight for them. The fox cub was still at his heels, growling and gnashing its fangs.

_ I must be near the camp now!  _ He thought desperately, his paws skidding on the loose leaves.

Pain pierced his tail as the fox cub snapped at it with thorn-sharp teeth. Jaykit dug his claws into the ground, sprinting faster and faster, until, without warning, the ground fell beneath his paws. The sound of loose stones met Jaykit’s ears.

With a jolt of horror, the kit felt himself plunging into empty air.

_ I’ve fallen into the hollow! _


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ABLEISM TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER**

Jaykit tried to move, but pain shot through his limbs and gripped his chest like claws.

Panic flooded him.  _ I’m broken! _

He tried to mew for help.

“Hush, little one.” Warm breath stirred his fur, and a soft nose nuzzled his flank.

He figured it must be Leafpool, though she sounded strange. Perhaps the throbbing in his head was confusing him. Jaykit knew he was in the cleft in the wall of the hollow that formed Leafpool’s den. Moss softened the natural ground beneath him. Cold air flowed down the smooth rock walls, soft as water. Tendrils of bramble shielded the entrance. The scent of herbs filled the air; instinctively Jaykit tried to distinguish one from another. He recognized the juniper easily--Leafpool had fed it to Lionkit for bellyache after he had eaten too much fresh-kill. Borage he remembered from when Ferncloud had a fever after Icekit and Foxkit were born…

Wait. Where were Lionkit and Hollykit?

He couldn’t smell them anywhere.

He writhed in his nest, trying to find him.

“Lie still, little one.”

Jaykit opened his eyes and saw a she-cat crouched beside him. He realized he must be dreaming. She wasn’t a cat he recognized, but she had ThunderClan scent. He squinted; her image was hazy, a jumble of shapes, but he could make out the beautiful orange and brown markings on her lithe body as she sniffed along his pelt.

Her eyes were large and pale, one rimmed with darker fur than the other, and her mottled face narrowed to a soft white muzzle. “Don’t look so frightened,” she told him. “You are safe.”

“What about Hollykit and Lionkit?”

“They are safe too.”

Jaykit let his head rest back into the moss as the she-cat continued to nuzzle his fur, gently touching every aching spot on his body. The parts she touched seemed to flood with heat until he felt warm all over.

“Drink now, precious,” she urged. Nipped between her teeh was a leaf; it held atiny pool of water. She placed it down in front of him, and the kit lapped at it gratefully. It was cool and sweet and made him feel sleepy. He peeked at the strange she-cat once more and found her image even hazier than before; now only a brown mash of light. He closed his eyes.

When Jaykit awoke the she-cat was gone. His body still ached, but not as much as before.

“You’re awake.” Leafpool’s voice surprised him.

“Where is the other cat?” he asked groggily.

“What other cat?”

“The one that brought me water to drink.” He foggily recalled the distinctive mottled markings on her body. “She was a tortoiseshell, with a white muzzle.”

“Tortoiseshell with a white muzzle?” Leafpool’s mew sharpened with interest.

Jaykit couldn’t understand why Leafpool was just repeating everything he said. He tried lifting his head, but his neck felt too stiff and he winced in pain.

“You’ll be sore for a while.” Leafpool warned him. “But you were lucky that no bones were broken.” She rolled a ball of water-soaked moss to his muzzle. “Here, you should drink something.”

“I’m not thirsty,” Jaykit mewed. “I  _ told  _ you, that other cat brought me some water.”

Leafpool pawed the moss away from his mouth. “Tell me about her,” she prompted gently.

Jaykit started to feel uneasy, as if he might have done something wrong. He was puzzled by the tension in Leafpool’s shoulders, and the way the tip of her tail stirred the moss-covered ground. “I’d never seen her before,” he said meekly. “But she was in your den, so i guessed it was okay to drink the water she gave me.”

There was a long pause, then: “It was Spottedleaf,” Leafpool meowed. “One of our warrior ancestors.”

“Like in StarClan? I...I’m not dead, am I?”

“No, of course not. It must have been a dream.”

“But why would I dream of a cat I’ve never met?”

“StarClan works in its own way. Spottedleaf chose to come to you for a reason,” Leafpool murmured. She turned away to tidy a wrap of herbs. “Thank StarClan your ancestors took pity on you,” she told him briskly. “You could have died falling over the cliff. You were lucky enough that you weren’t badly hurt!”

“I feel hurt enough,” Jaykit complained.

“You have no one to blame but yourself. You should never have gone hunting foxes. You’re mouse-brains, the three of you! What were you thinking of, leaving the camp like that?”

Her irritation sparked anger in Jaykit. Ignoring his aching stiffness, he scrabbled to his paws and glared at her. “It’s not fair!” he snapped. “I should be allowed to do the same things as any cat!”

“None of you should have been outside the hollow,” Leafpool pointed out. “Hollykit and Lionkit have been in serious trouble with Firestar and Squirrelflight.” Jaykit opened his mouth to defend himself, but she went on. “Thank StarClan that Thornclaw was close enough to save Hollykit and Lionkit from that den. Those fox cubs were old enough to have torn them to pieces.”

Jaykit lifted his chin defiantly.” We were  _ trying  _ to protect the Clan.”

“One day you will,” Leafpool promised. “But first you need to learn as much as you can, which includes learning not to go off by yourself!” 

“Do you think Firestar will delay my apprenticeship because of this?” he mewed, suddenly anxious.

Leafpool drew the tip of her tail gently around his ears and said nothing.

“You do, don’t you!” Jaykit wailed. “Has Firestar said anything? Tell me!”

“Dear Jaykit,” Leafpool sighed. “You must know that you can never become an apprentice like Hollykit or Lionkit.” She ran her tail along his back.

Jaykit shrugged it away. It was as though a gale had swept him up and he could hear nothing but the rushing of wind in his ears. He began to walk to the entrance of the den, but each pawstep made him wince with pain.

Leafpool called to him, sounding unhappy. “Jaykit, wait. I thought you understood…”

“Understood  _ what _ ?” Jaykit whipped around to face her. “That I’m not good enough to fight for my Clan?”

“This has nothing to do with not being good enough,” Leafpool meowed. “There are other ways to serve your Clan.”

But Jaykit refused to hear her. “It’s not fair!” he raged. He shoved his way through the brambles. 

“Jaykit!” Leafpool’s voice was firm. “Come back!”

Instinctively Jaykit paused.

“You described Spottedleaf to me perfectly. Have you been able to see like that in your dreams?”

Jaykit huffed. “I guess.”

“It depends what I’m dreaming about.” Jaykit was growing impatient. How could his dreams help him become a ThunderClan warrior? The hazy images he saw while he slept were pale in comparison to the rich and vivid world his senses brought him while he was awak.

“Now tell me which herbs I used to treat you.”

Curious now, Jaykit padded back to his nest, focusing on the pungent scents that lingered on his pelt, scents left by the herbs Leafpool had massaged into his wounds. “Dock on my scratches and comfrey where my body is stiff.”

“You have a good memory for plants.” Leafpool began.

“I have a good memory for everything!” Jaykit snapped in disbelief. Had Leafpool seen how he was able to navigate the Camp? He had no choice but to memorize each den, path, and unseen corner in order to get around; he’d been doing things this way his entire life! 

_ So why does she sound surprised?  _ Jaykit wondered.

“There are other ways to serve your Clan than being a warrior.” Leafpool continued. “You’d make a good medicine cat, for example.”

“A medicine cat!” Jaykit echoed in disbelief. Always stinking of mouse bile and cleaning up bad-smelling wounds?

“You could be my apprentice,” Leafpool urged.

“I don’t want to make do with being a medicine cat!” Jaykit hissed. “I don’t want to live half a life, separated from my Clanmates like you are. I want to be a warrior like Brambleclaw and Firestar.”

He turned away from Leafpool, bristling with fury. “I hate being blind. I wish I had never been born!”


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ABLEISM TW FOR THIS CHAPTER**

Hollykit waited in the center of the clearing, where Brambleclaw had left her. The sun was sinking behind the trees, pulling a shadow across the camp. Lionkit sat beside her, his pelt golden in the fading sunshine. Cool air drifted down into the hollow, and Lionkit shivered.

Suddenly the brambles at the entrance of the medicine den trembled, and Hollykit saw the gray-striped head of Jaykit poke out. She nudged Lionkit. “Look!”

“He’s okay!” he mewed relief.

“Thank StarClan!”

Jaykit turned around and went back into the den.

“Leafpool must be keeping them a bit longer,” Hollykit observed. She dug her claws into the ground to stop her paws from trembling. At least she knew her brother was all right. But they still had to face Firestar. How was he going to punish them this time?

She glanced around, hoping no cat was staring at them. Mousefure was leaning against halfrock, a smooth low stone that stuck out of the ground near the entrance to the elder’s den. It would still be warm from the sun. Dustpelt was sharing tongues with Whitewing beside the thornbush that formed the warriors’ den. His apprentice, Hazelpaw, nodded to him before picking up a mouse from the fresh-kill pile and carrying it over to the apprentices’ den. Her littermates, Mousepaw and Berrypaw, were there already, eating.

Hollykit caught Mousepaw’s eye. The young gray-and-white tom blinked sympathetically at her before looking away. Hollykit lifted her chin a little higher. She wasn’t going to let any cat see how scared she was. She would take her punishment like a true warrior.

She watched Sorreltail carry fresh-kill to her mate, Brackenfur. The dark ginger tom was resting beneath Highledge, his breath hoarse after his bout of whitecough. Sorreltail skirted the clearing, avoiding the kits, and dropped a mouse at his paws.

“How are you?” she asked him.

“Better,” he croaked. “I’ll be fine in a couple of days. Birchfall’s recovered already, thanks to Leafpool.”

“Well, at least you’re not in the medicine den anymore,” Sorreltail meowed gratefully.

“Leafpool needed room for Jaykit.” Brackenfur reminded her.

“Poor mite,” Sorreltail sighed. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

Hollykit felt a surge of irritation. Jaykit had been as keen to chase off the fox cubs as she and Lionkit, but he was being fussed over in their aunt’s den, while she and Lionkit had to sit here for the whole Clan to  _ stare at _ .

She gave a small snort of anger.

“Have you got a tick in your ear?” Lionkit whispered.

“No, but it’s just not fair!” she hissed back. “We wouldn’t be in so much trouble if Jaykit hadn’t fallen over the edge! Why does he have to act like he can do anything and then be so  _ helpless _ ?” 

“We shouldn’t have taken him with us,” Lionkit murmured.

“Can you imagine the fuss he would have made if we hadn’t?” Hollykit spat. But then she pictured her brother keeping up with them, finding the milk-scent that led them to the den they had been looking for, and guilt swept over her.

He could have died.

The dreadful though pierced her heart like a thorn. The three of them always did everything together. Losing Jaykit would be like losing her tail.

_ He’s like a sixth sense to us.  _ She realized.  _ We would’ve ran into one the patrols long before we reached the fox den without him. _

She sighed ruefully. “None of us should have gone.”

“I wish you had realized that earlier!”

Firestar’s meow took Hollykit by surprise. Tiny stones were still tumbling into the clearing where he had leaped down the rockfall that led from his den.

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight followed him down and stood a little behind the ThunderClan leader. Hollykit’s heart sank when she saw anger in her father’s eyes and disappointment in her mother’s. She stared down at her paws, remembering the disastrous ending to their assault on the fox’s den. Thornclaw’s patrol had arrived just in time to see her and Lionkit flee the den with two fox cubs at their heels. The golden-brown tabby tom had yowled in surprise as she zipped into the trees, but she dared not stop, fearing the snapping jaws behind her, till she hurtled into Brambleclaw’s patrol on its way back from the lakeshore.

“What’s happening?” Brambleclaw demanded. He had grasped her by the scruff as she tried to race past. “What are you doing out here?”

Hollykit had tried to explain, but her hard panting had choked her up. Her heart thudded rapidly like a woodpecker on a hollow tree. 

Spiderleg caught up with her. “The kits found the fox cubs,” the black warrior told Brambleclaw, glancing down at the terrified kitten. “It seems they decided to organize a patrol of their own.”

Hollykit did not dare to catch her father’s eye.

“Where are Lionkit and Jaykit?” the deputy growled.

“Lionkit’s with Poppypaw.” Spiderleg reported. “He’s okay. We haven’t found Jaykit yet, but the fox cubs have scattered. It’s going to take a while to hunt them out.”

Brambleclaw had stiffly glanced up at the sky and muttered under his breath, then escorted Hollykit and Lionkit unceremoniously back to the ThunderClan camp.

But that had not been the worst part.

When they’d reached the camp, Whitewing and Leafpool were crouching at the edge of the clearing, their fur spiked in horror. Ferncloud trembled beside them, moaning a low, mournful yowl.

Between them, Jaykit lay on the ground like a scarp of gray fur. Brambleclaw darted ahead of Hollykit and crouched behind his scuffed-up son. He nudged Jaykit gently, as though he was trying to wake him from sleep, but his eyes were frantic with fear.

“He’s still breathing, and his heartbeat is steady,” Leafpool told him.

Brambleclaw stared desperately at Leafpool, then sat up. “Fetch Firestar and Squirrelflight,” he ordered Whitewing. 

After that he had told Lionkit and Hollykit to wait in the clearing and carried Jaykit to the medicine den. Firestar had returned with Squirrelflight, and the three warriors had disappeared, faces grim, into Firestar’s den, not even glancing at Hollykit and Lionkit.

Hollykit leaned against Lionkit as Firestar, Squirrelflight, and Brambleclaw lined up in front of them once more. She was glad she didn’t have to face them alone.

“Jaykit’s going to be okay,” Firestar told them.

“I know,” Hollykit answered. “We saw him--”

Firestar silenced her with a glare and went on. “But Thornclaw’s patrol has not returned. Which means they are still hunting the fox cubs.”

“What possessed you to leave the hollow?” Brambleclaw demanded.

Firestar narrowed his eyes. “I know that they are your kits, Brambleclaw,” he meowed. “but  _ I’ll  _ deal with this.”

Squirrelflight’s tail flicked. Hollykit guessed that her mother had a few sharp words she wanted to share with her kits, but she held her tongue as Firestar spoke.

“We only wanted to help the Clan!” Hollykit protested.

“Then do as you are told!” Firestar growled. “What if Jaykit had died? Would that have helped the Clan? His fierce gaze flicked from Lionkit to Hollykit, and they shook their heads.

Firestar pressed on. “You almost led the foxes straight into the camp--as it is, you have given them a scent trail they’re likely not to forget!”

“We’re sorry,” Hollykit whispered.

“We thought that if we could find the foxes--” Lionkit began.

“If you’d thought at  _ all  _ you would have let our warriors deal with the foxes and the Clan would be safe now!” Firestar lashed his tail, furious. “Instead we have one badly injured kit and three hungry foxes who know where our camp is!” 

Hollykit glanced ruefully at the nursery.

Squirrelflight tapped the ground in small, frustrated steps. Firestar exhaled and nodded for her to speak.

“I’m so disappointed in you both!” she burst out.

“What about Jaykit?” Lionkit objected. “We didn’t force him to go with us!” 

“We will speak to Jaykit when he’s recovered.” Brambleclaw answered. “Right now, it’s you two that concern us. You seem to have no more sense than hatching chicks!”

“Are you going to stop us from becoming apprentices?” Lionkit asked in a small voice.

Hollykit’s breath caught in her throat. Would their father really do that? She looked pleadingly up at him.

“If it were up to me,” Brambleclaw meowed, “I would make you wait another moon, But it is Firestar’s decision.”

The Clan leader narrowed his angry eyes. “I’m not going to decide right now,” he told them. “Go back to the nursery. Ferncloud and Daisy will keep an eye on you, and it is up to you to make sure one of them knows where you are at all times. If you’re not where you are supposed to be, then you’re clearly not ready for the responsibilities of an apprenticeship.”

“We won’t wander off again,” Lionkit promised.

“Hollykit?” Firestar prompted.

“I won’t do anything that might stop me from becoming an apprentice,” she vowed, meaning every word.

“Very well,” Firestar huffed out. “I just hope you have learned something today. True warriors think of the Clan’s safety before anything else.” He turned away, padding to where Brackenfur was sharing tongues with Sorreltail.

His parting words seared Hollykit’s fur.  _ I let the Clan down... _ she mused. She glanced nervously at Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight. ‘We’re sorry.” she ventured.

“I should hope so.” Squirrelflight sighed.

“You should be setting an example.” Brambleclaw added.

Their mother’s gaze softened a little. She bent down and licked Hollykit and Lionkit between their ears. “I know you thought you were doing the right thing,” she sympathized.

“We just wanted to help the Clan. Like the apprentices and warriors do.” Hollykit insisted.

“Your chance will come,” Brambleclaw promised.

“Will Jaykit have to stay in the nursery, too? Lionkit asked.

“He’ll stay with Leafpool until he’s recovered.” Squirrelflight told him. “He can rejoin you when your aunt sees fit.”

“Will he be well enough in time for the naming ceremony?” Hollykit mewed.

“If there  _ is  _ a naming ceremony,” Lionkit added.

Squirrelflight drew her tail over her son’s flank. “You know your brother can’t become a full apprentice.”

Hollykit stared dumbfounded at her mother. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, it would be impossible to have a blind warrior--” Brambleclaw began but Hollykit turned on him, her paws prickling with fury. 

“No, it wouldn’t!” she spat. What were her parents talking about? “Jaykit can smell and hear and sense everything that happens in the camp!” She glanced at Lionkit for support. “It’s like he  _ can _ see things, but with his nose and ears instead of his eyes!”

She glared at her father, waiting for him to say something, but he only glanced at Squirrelflight, exchanging a look of sadness and doubt that made Hollykit tremble with indignation.

Suddenly she heard pawsteps pounding toward the camp.

A voice called from beyond the barrier. It was Thornclaw. The golden-brown tabby hurried through the thorns with Spiderleg, Poppypaw, and Mousepaw close behind.

Firestar left Brackenfur and Sorreltail and padded over to meet them. Brambleclaw joined him. “Any luck finding them?” the deputy asked.

“Poppypaw and Mousepaw chased one of the cubs over the border into ShadowClan territory,” Thornclaw reported. “But there’s no sign of the other two.”

Hollykit’s ears burned with shame.

“The cubs are old enough to look after themselves,” Thornclaw went on. “They could cause a lot of trouble in the future.”

Ferncloud pushed her way out of the nursery. “Are the fox cubs nearby?” she fretted.

“No.” Thornclaw shook his head. “We made sure of that. There’s no fresh scent this side of the Sky Oak.”

Ferncloud looked a little comforted, but her ears still twitched nervously, and she hurried back to her kits, who were mewling in the nursery.

Hollykit caught Squirrelflight’s eye. Her mother’s bright green eyes blinked in sympathy.” she murmured. “Every cat makes mistakes. You just have to learn from them.”

“I will make it up to everyone.” Hollykit promised.

“I know you will,” Squirrelflight assured her. “Why don’t you go and visit Jaykit? I’m sure he’d love some company.”

“Can I go too?” Lionkit begged.

“I don’t know if he’s well enough for both of you,” Squirrelflight glanced in her father’s direction. “Plus I don't think Firestar wants you both to wander off so soon. You can go later, but be sure to tell Daisy or Ferncloud before you leave the nursery, alright?”

Lionkit lashed his short tail but didn’t answer. Instead he stalked toward the nursery.

“I’ll tell Jaykit you said hi!” Hollykit called after him.

“Whatever.” Lionkit grumbled, not looking back.

  


Hollykit nosed her way through the brambles into the shadows of Leafpool’s den. Jaykit was lying by the pool at one side of the den. He turned his jay-feather blue eyes on her as she entered. 

“Hi, Hollykit.” his mew sounded tired. His pelt was slicked flat with poultices, making him look as small as a newborn kit. Hollykit felt a stab of pain. He had nearly  _ died _ .

Jaykit flicked his tail. “There;s no need to feel sorry for me,” he grumbled.

Hollykit blinked. How was it that her brother always knew  _ exactly  _ what she was feeling. Sometimes it could be so annoying to have him sniffing out her private thoughts like an inquisitive mouse.

“I’m not going to die.” he went on.

“I never thought you would,” she lied. She padded to Jaykit’s side and smoothed the fur between his ears with her tongue.

“What did Firestar say?” he asked.

“We’ve got to stay in the nursery until he decides if we can become apprentices.” Hollykit parroted.

“ _ If?”  _ Jaykit echoed.

“If we do as we’re told and stay in camp, then I think we’ll be okay.” Hollykit assured him. She hoped it was true. She had never seen Firestar so angry.

“It  _ has  _ to be okay!” Jaykit struggled to his paws, and winced with pain.

“Are  _ you  _ okay?” Hollykit was alarmed.

Leafpool was mixing herbs in the far corner of her den. “He’s just sore,” she told her. “But he’s healing well.” Leaving her bundle of work, she joined the two kits. “I’ve been giving him some comfrey to chew on.”

“Is that what you were mixing there?” Hollykit asked.

“I like to mix in a few heather flowers when I have them.” Leafpool explained. “The nectar mutes the bitterness of the mixture and makes it easier to swallow.”

“How did you learn all that?” Hollykit mewed, genuinely curious.

“Cinderpelt taught me,” Lesfpool answered. The medicine cat’s eyes seemed to grow distant as she stared at the black kit, but Hollykit was more interested in Leafpool’s skill. Having so much knowledge must make her feel very powerful--no other cat in the Clan knew herbs like she did. She had cured Brackenfur, Birchfall, and now Jaykit.  _ Imagine being that important to the Clan. _

“Leafpool?” Brightheart called from the den entrance. “Brackenfur’s coughing again.”

“Oh! I’ll give you some honey to take to him.” Leafpool replied. “Can you see to Jaykit for me, Hollykit? A wash will help his stiffness. Just avoid the poultice patches.”

“Okay.” Hollykit wrinkled her nose at the thought of putting her tongue near the tangy-smelling goo plastered over her brother’s pelt. But she began to wash him anyway as Leafpool fetched a leaf wrap of honey from the back of the den and gave it to Brightheart.

“Not so roughly!: Jaykit complained. “I’m sore all over.”

“Sorry,” Hollykit apologized, lapping Jaykit’s pelt with softer strokes.

“You’re not as gentle as Spottedleaf,” Jaykit moaned.

Hollykit stopped licking, “Who?”

“Spottedleaf.” Jaykit repeated. “Leafpool says she’s one of our warrior ancestors. She came to me in a dream and poked me all over with her nose.”

“How can you dream about a cat if you’ve never met her?” Hollykit questioned, puzzled.

Leafpool padded back from the den entrance and sat down. “Are you telling your sister about Spottedleaf?”

Jaykit stiffly nodded.

“Who is she?” Hollykit mewed.

“She was the ThunderClan medicine cat when Firestar first joined the Clan,” Leafpool explained. “She died before I was born, but she occasionally comes to my dreams just like she did with Jaykit.” Hollykit noticed her aunt’s eyes glittering with excitement. “Spottedleaf was very wise. She’s never stopped looking after her Clan. I guess that’s why she came to see Jaykit, and why she still visits my dreams.”

“Does Cinderpelt visit you too?” Hollykit asked.

Leafpool shook her head. “Just Spottedleaf. She helps guide my paws whenever I find myself lost, or when I need help finding answers to questions that worry me. She also warns me if something threatens the Clan.”

Hollykit tilted her head. Hearing Leafpool talk so fondly of a cat that she had never met in the real world was strange. “You talk about Spottedleaf like she’s a friend.”

“Our warrior ancestors can be our friends.”

Jaykit let out a moan. “I hurt.”

“I’ll fetch more comfrey!” Hollykit offered. She bounded over to the pile of herbs and carried a mouthful back to Leafpool.

“Thank you,” Leafpool meowed. “Can you fetch some poppy seeds, too? You’ll see them at the back. They’re tiny, round black seeds.”

“Okay.” Hollykit shuffled to the back of the den and searched among the piles of herbs until she found the poppy seeds. “How many?” she called.

“Five,” Leafpool answered. “Pick them up by wetting your paw and dabbing the pile.”

Hollykit followed her instructions, shaking the extra seeds from her pad, and hobbled on three legs back to where Jaykit lay. He licked the tiny dots from her paw, his eyes growing sleepy. 

“Is he all right?” she asked, worried.

“He will be,” Leafpool reassured her. “Be we should let him rest.”

Hollykit did not want to leave the medicine den. Excitement was buzzing in her paws. Her aunt could cure sick cats, and share tongues with her ancestors, and warn the Clan leader of troubles ahead. If Hollykit wanted to be important to her Clan, perhaps becoming a medicine cat was the key to achieve it’ and frankly, after the disastrous adventure with the foxes, she wasn’t so sure if being a warrior was the way to do it at all.

She padded away from Jaykit but lingered at the bramble-covered entrance. “Leafpool?” she called quietly.

“Yes?” Leafpool padded to her side.

“When do medicine cats take on an apprentice? Is it only when they get older?”

Leafpool looked seriously at her. “I can take an apprentice anytime.”

“But would your apprentice have to stay an apprentice until you…”  _ DIed?  _ Hollykit couldn’t bring herself to say the word aloud.

Leafpool’s whiskers twitched with amusement as she guessed what Hollykit was trying to ask. “No,” she purred. “Once a medicine cat apprentice has learned enough, he can take his proper name and assume full responsibilities, even with his mentor still alive.”

Hollykit wondered why Leafpool had said  _ he _ . “Do you have someone in mind already?”

Leafpool flicked the tip of her tail. “I’ve not decided anything, yet.”

Before Hollykit could say anything else, she heard Ferncloud calling her from the nursery.

“You’d better go,” Leafpool warned. “You’ve been in enough trouble for one day.”

Her pelt prickling with frustration, Hollykit pushed her way through the brambles and raced back to the nursery. She couldn’t bring herself to pout, however. She had just discovered how she wanted to serve her Clan, how to make sure that what she did really mattered. She wanted to be the next ThunderClan medicine cat!

  



	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ABLEISM TW FOR THIS CHAPTER**

Lionkit woke in his nest. A draft ruffled his golden pelt.

_ Where’s Jaykit? _

Jaykit usually slept beside him, but there was an empty space there now.

Then he remembered.

Lionkit felt sickness surge in his belly as he pictured Jaykit lying limp at the side of the clearing.  _ He’s going to be okay,  _ he reminded himself.

But in the clearing, watching Leafpool and Brambleclaw crouch by his body, Lionkit had thought his brother was dead. He imagined the rank stench of death--similar to the one plaguing the dead fox--rising from dear Jaykit’s pelt. A shiver ran down his tail. He nudged Hollykit, who was still sleeping beside him, her black pelt almost making her invisible in the darkness. “It’s cold without Jaykit.”

“He’ll be back soon,” she murmured, not opening her eyes. 

“But it’s weird with him not here.”

“He’s only on the other side of the clearing, and he’ll be back in a day or two.” Hollykit let out a might and yawn and rolled over. “Go back to sleep.” Within moments her breathing deepened and she was asleep again.

Lionkit still felt a tug of sadness. Jaykit should be with them, just like always.

He closed his eyes but the image of his brother’s limp body sprawled out in the clearing filled his mind again.  _ It was my idea to leave the camp.  _ Jaykit could be dead, or the fox cubs could have chased them into the hollow. What an absolute mess! 

Lionkit got to his paws. He needed fresh air to clear his head.

He peered through the shadows to where Daisy slept. Her long, creamy fur blended into Ferncloud’s dark gray pelt. Ferncloud’s whiskers periodically twitched as she dreamed, her two kits snuggled against her flank. Neither queen would be pleased at being woken just so he could ask permission to leave the den; besides, he’d be back before they woke.

With a flick of his tail, he picked his way past Hollykit and squeezed through the prickly entrance.

Cold night air stung his nose, and the frost ground made his paws ache as he padded around the edge of the camp. Prey scents drifted from the forest. A bird chattered an alarm call far away. He glanced up at Silverpelt, spreading far across the inky sky. He was glad StarClan had let Jaykit stay down here with his Clanmates. Perhaps he could look in on his brother. Leafpool would be asleep now.  
Lionkit kept to the shadows, painfully aware that he was not supposed to be outside the nursery without permission. As he crept along the stretch of thornbush that sealed the camp, his heart seemed to pound in his chest loud enough to wake his Clanmates. When he scanned the clearing, the golden kitten realized that he was not the only cat awake so late. A shape was stirring on the other side of the clearing. The lithe outline of a cat peeled away from the shadows, followed by another. Lionkit ducked under a branch, relieved to find a small space inside the prickly barrier where he could hide. He peered through the twigs at the emerging shapes: Dustpelt and Spiderleg were padding side by side to the pool of moonlight that lit the center of the camp.

“They’re nearly here,” the long-limbed warrior told Dustpelt.

“Good,” Dustpelt meowed.

Lionkit strained his ears, listening. Frozen leaves crackled beyond the camp wall. He felt the thorn barrier tremble as Stormfur and Brackenfur pushed their way through the entrance tunnel into the camp. The moonhigh patrol had returned.

Dustpelt hurried toward them. “Anything to report?” 

“All quiet,” Stormfur replied.

Lionkit pressed himself further into the thorns. He could always say he had slipped out only to make dirt, but he was not ready to be sent back to the nursery.

Brackenfur held a mouse between his teeth. He dropped it. “It’s good to be out hunting again,” the golden tabby purred.

“Did you patrol the new border at the edge of the clearing?” Spiderleg asked.

Brackenfur nodded. “ShadowClan have marked it well,” he meowed. “But there’s no sign that they strayed onto our territory.”

Dustpelt narrowed his eyes. “They’d better not. It’s bad enough Firestar gave them that piece of land in the first place. If I catch any Shadowclan rat on the wrong side of the border I’ll rip his fur off!”

“They wouldn’t dare!” Brackenfur growled.

“They dared before Firestar gave them the territory.” Spiderleg pointed out. He glanced at the scar on Brackenfur’s flank, a reminder of one of the vicious quarrels the two Clans had fought over the stretch of open ground on either side of the stream running from the Twoleg clearing. ShadowClan had always laid claim to the territory, and Firestar had finally granted it to then at the last Gathering to save further blood being spilled over a stretch of land that was too bare to offer good hunting.

“It wasn’t worth fighting over.” Stormfur commented. “Firestar was right to give it up.”

Dustpelt snorted. “ThunderClan has never given up territory before!”

“No,” agreed Brackenfur.

Spiderleg turned in an agitated circle, tail lashing, but Brackenfur went on. “However, the land was too exposed, and the Twolegs will be there soon, once it’s greenleaf.”

“And ThunderClan are more used to hunting in the forest,” Stormfur added.

“Firestar  _ still _ shouldn’t have given it up so easily,” Spiderleg insisted.

Lionkit watched nervously from his hiding place as Spiderleg glared at Stormfur. The long-limbed black warrior was more hotheaded than his father, Dustpelt. But Stormfur refused to be intimidated.

We gave up nothing but a piece of barren land that was too close to Twoleg territory!” he hissed.

“You sound like Brambleclaw.” Dustpelt curled his lip. “He only agreed with Firestar’s decision because any cat knows he’d rather face a pack of dogs than a Twoleg!”

Lionkit’s fur bristled with anger. His father wasn’t scared of anything!

“Brambleclaw sided with Firestar because it was a wise decision, not because he was scared of Twolegs!” Stormfur retorted.

“Was it wise to stand before all the Clans and announce that ThunderClan can no longer defend its boundaries?” Spiderleg meowed hotly. “ShadowClan have no right to set one mangy paw on ThunderClan land!”

“Well, it’s ShadowClan land now,” Stormfur concluded.

Spiderleg glared at him. “Of course, you don’t care how much territory we give up,” he snarled. “You’re not a ThunderClan cat!”

Lionkit flinched. Stormfur had fought off the invading ShadowClan warriors as fiercely as any cat. He watched closely, waiting to see how the gray warrior would react. But Stormfur only stared back at Spiderleg, his eyes wide with shock. 

Brackenfur stepped between them, his eyes glinting anxiously in the moonlight. “It doesn’t matter if we disagree,” he meowed in a hushed tone. “The decision has been made.”

“But now ShadowClan will think they can take whatever they want from us!” Spiderleg objected.

“Firestar made it clear that he was doing ShadowClan a favor when he let them take the land,” Brackenfur reminded him. “He left no cat in any doubt that he was acting out of wisdom rather than weakness.”

“Then why did Onestar and Leopardstar look so interested?” Dustpelt snapped. “It was obvious they thought ThunderClan couldn’t defend their territory.”

“What if WindClan decides they want a piece of the forest on the other side?” Spiderleg chipped in. “Onestar hasn’t exactly been a friend of ours since he became leader.”

“He’s been okay since he helped us with the badger attack,” Brackenfur pointed out. “But he’s still going to be looking out for his Clan,”

Dustpelt argued. “If he thinks we’re weak he might see a chance to expand his territory.”

“Can you imagine Firestar giving up any prey-rich part of our territory?” Stormfur asked.

Dustpelt glared at him for a moment, then dipped his head. “No,” he conceded.

“And we don’t have to worry about RiverClan,” Brackenfur pressed. “We share no boundaries with them, and Leopardstar’s been pretty quiet since Hawkfrost died on our territory.”

“Does any cat really know what happened to Hawkfrost?” Stormfur asked.

“Only that Firestar found his body while he was on patrol with Brambleclaw and Ashfur.” Spiderleg meowed.

Lionkit did not fully understand. He had heard Daisy and Ferncloud talking about Hawkfrost, the RiverClan deputy who had died on ThunderClan territory, impaled on a wooden spike from a fox trap. No one was sure what the RiverClan tom had been doing there. Lionkit had tried to ask his father once about Hawkfrost--after all, Hawkfrost was Brambleclaw’s half brother and therefore Lionkit’s half uncle--but Brambleclaw had been reluctant to answer. The only information he would give was that Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight had carried the dead RiverClan warrior back to his camp as they would have done with any fallen warrior, and that he had been mourned by his Clanmates.

As Lionkit strained to hear whether the warriors’ conversation would reveal anything new, he felt the thorn barrier rustle around him. He realized with a jolt that he was right beside the small entrance that led to where the cats made their dirt—the same entrance that he, Jaykit, and Hollykit had sneaked out of in search of the fox cubs. Alarmed, Lionkit sniffed the air. Mousepaw was squeezing his way back through less than a tail-length away.

He shrank further back into the shadows, but he could not escape Mousepaw’s sharp nose.

“Lionkit?” Mousepaw hissed into the darkness.

Lionkit wondered for a moment whether to bury himself deeper in the barrier, but he didn’t like the look of the thorns, and besides, his pride would not let him. “I’m in here,” he confessed.

As he spoke, Dustpelt’s amber gaze flashed toward them. “Mousepaw?” he called. Lionkit held his breath. Would the apprentice give him away? They had been denmates for a while in the nursery, but Mousepaw might side with the warriors now.

“I’m just on my way back to the den,” Mousepaw told Dustpelt. A moment later he squeezed into Lionkit’s hiding place. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the nursery?” he whispered.

Lionkit flicked his tail crossly. He was grateful that Mousepaw hadn’t given him away, but he hated being treated like a feeble kit. “I couldn’t sleep,” he grumbled. “I’m used to having Jaykit around.” “Why were Dustpelt and Stormfur arguing?”

“They were talking about Firestar’s decision to give ShadowClan the bit of land by the river,” Lionkit explained. “Dustpelt accused Stormfur of not being a real ThunderClan warrior.”

Mousepaw flattened his ears, shocked. “I’m surprised that Stormfur didn’t shred him!”

“But Stormfur’s not a real ThunderClan warrior, is he?” Lionkit pointed out, puzzled.

“You’d better not say that to his face!” Mousepaw warned.

“But he was born in RiverClan and lived with the Tribe.”

“Mousepaw!” Dustpelt’s voice sounded from the clearing. Mousepaw quickly shoved Lionkit with a hind leg further back into the bush. He stifled a squeak of pain as thorns dug into his pelt, and Mousepaw squeezed out from under the branches.

“Shouldn’t you be back in the apprentices’ den?” Dustpelt queried.

“I thought I smelled a mouse,” Mousepaw lied.

“Straying into the camp would be stupid even for a mouse,” Dustpelt muttered. “Go to your den. I’m sure Spiderleg won’t be pleased if you’re too tired for training in the morning.”

“Yes, Dustpelt.” Mousepaw dipped his head and padded quickly away.

Lionkit waited, thorns poking him, until Dustpelt and the other warriors headed to their den. It seemed foolish to risk going to the medicine cat’s den now. As soon as he was sure that no cat stirred, Lionkit dragged himself out from under the thorn barrier and crept back to the nursery.

Several thorns from the barrier had caught in his fur and were tangled in his pelt. They pricked him as he curled gingerly back into his nest. He closed his eyes and waited for sleep, but his conversation with Mousepaw echoed in his mind. It hadn’t occurred to him before how important it was to the warriors whether a cat was truly ThunderClan or not. His own place in the Clan had always been something he had taken for granted. He supposed that not every cat was lucky enough to be born in the forest, with the Clan deputy and Clan leader as kin. But he still didn’t understand why Mousepaw had taken the quarrel between the warriors so seriously. So long as Stormfur and Brook were loyal to ThunderClan, what else mattered?

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 6

Hollykit was dreaming that the nursery was filled with hedgehogs. They filed in through the entrance on their little legs, rudely brushing Ferncloud and her kits aside and settling into the mossy nest around her. Their sharp prickles spiked her back. She fidgeted to move away from her uncomfortable new denmates.

“What are you doing here?” she muttered. “Go away!” But the prickles still dug into her. Opening her eyes, she twisted around and saw Lionkit curled up asleep beside her. He slept wildly, and looked like he’d fallen out of a tree! His golden pelt was ruffled and studded with black thorns.

She jabbed him with her forepaw. “Hey!” she whispered. “Where did you pick up these thorns? They’re ripping me to shreds.”

Lionkit opened his amber eyes. “What?” he murmured, his mouth stretching into a yawn.

“You’re covered in thorns!” Hollykit guessed he’d been out of the den. “What have you been up to?” she demanded.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Lionkit confessed. “I went for a walk in the clearing.”

Hollykit stared at him in dismay. “Aren’t we in enough trouble? Do you want to stop us from being made apprentices?”

“Relax,” Lionkit soothed. “No one saw me.” He sat up and wiped a paw over his face, but briefly paused. “Except Mousepaw. And he won’t tell. It was Mousepaw who pushed me into the thorns so Dustpelt wouldn’t spot me.”

Hollykit hissed softly.  _ Why doesn’t he think before he acts?  _ “We;d better get those thorns out of you before anyone else sees them.”

“They really sting,” Lionkit complained, twisting around to tug one from his flank with his teeth.

“I’d better go to the medicine den and get something to treat them with,” Hollykit told him. “We don’t want your scratches from getting infected.”

“What are you gonna tell Leafpool?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll tell her there was a thorn in your bedding and you rolled on it.” She climbed out of her nest and headed toward the entrance. “You start pulling out all the thorns you can reach.” she instructed. “I’ll get the rest when I come back.” Before she began to nose her way out of the den, another thought struck her. “And don’t leave the lying around. If Icekit or Foxkit spike themselves one, Ferncloud will plunk your whiskers till you’re bald as a bird!”

She ran across the clearing, relieved to find it empty. The sun was rising behind the trees that topped the cliffs, but the camp, still in shadow, was cold. Hollykit guessed that the dawn patrol must have left already and the other cats were making the most of their snug dens until the sun had reached into the hollow and warmed the camp.

She arrived at the medicine den unnoticed and slipped through the brambles that concealed its entrance. Leafpool was nowhere to be seen, and her scent was stale. She hurried over to Jaykit’s nest.

“Are you feeling better?”

Jaykit was curled up tight in the moss, a bundle of striped gray fur. His head shot up at the sound of Hollykit’s voice, and he gazed tiredly up at her with his sightless stare.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you confined to the nursery?”

“Lionkit’s got a thorn stuck in him,” Hollykit explained. “I wanted something to keep the scratch from getting infected.”

Jaykit nodded sleepily to the back of the den. “Leafpool used dock on my scratches,” he mewed. “You’ll have to find it yourself. Leafpool’s out collecting stinging nettles.”

“Okay,” Hollykit mewed, hurrying over to the supply store. “Can you remember what it smelled like?”

“It’s got sort of a tangy scent.” Jaykit lifted his nose and breathed in. “It’s in one of the piles near the front,” he told her.

Hollykit stared at the array of leaves and seeds. At the front there were two piles, one darker green than the other. She sniffed the darkest first. “This smells kind of icky,” she mewed back to Jaykit.

“Dock doesn’t have a bad smell,” Jaykit told her. “Just sharp.”

Hollykit sniffed the other pile and screwed up her eyes. It was definitely tangy. She grabbed a mouthful and carried it over to Jaykit.

“That’s the right one,” he mewed.

The brambles rustled at the den entrance, and Hollykit jumped.

It was Leafpool, holding a bunch of nettles carefully by their stems. The dew still glistened on their jagged leaves. She dropped them and looked at Hollykit. “You’re up early,” She spotted the pile of dock leaves beside Hollykit. “Your brother’s healing well,” she meowed. “He doesn’t need any more treatment; only rest.”

“I’m not treating Jaykit,” Hollykit explained. “Lionkit’s been scratched by a thorn in his bedding.” 

Leafpool opened her eyes wide in surprise. “How did you know how to use dock?”

Hollykit stared uncertainly at the medicine cat.  _ Jaykit told me _ .

“She remembered the smell from when you used it to treat me.” Jaykit spoke.

Hollykit ran her tail across his flank so he knew she was grateful. It wasn’t that she wanted Leafpool to think she was more clever than Jaykit; she just wanted her to see that she would make a great medicine cat.

“Well done, Hollykit!” Leafpool meowed. Hollykit felt warm to the tip of her tail. She told herself that one day she  _ would  _ know which herb was which and wouldn’t have to pretend.

Leafpool eagerly hurried over to her niece. “Let me show you how to apply it,” Leafpool offered. She crouched over the pile of dock, taking a single leaf in her mouth and chewing it. Once it was well chewed she held out her paw and licked the juice from the dock into their fur. Then she spat out the remainder of the leaf. “Make sure you lick it in firmly so that it seeps right into the wound,” she advised. “It may sting, but it will save a lot more pain later if you do it properly.”

Hollykit watched carefully.

“Do you want to try it before you go?” Leafpool asked.

“I think I should get back to Lionkit,” Hollykit mewed, wandering to return to the nursery before Daisy and Ferncloud realized she was missing. “He was pretty sore.”

“I could come too,” Leafpool offered.

Hollykit was about to say yes when she hesitated, If Leafpool saw how many thorns were tangled in Lionkit’s pelt, both kits would be in trouble. “Thanks, but you must have things to do,” she mewed. “I’ll come and get you if I need help.”

“Very well.” Leafpool nodded. Was that a knowing glint Hollykit saw in her amber gaze? Had she guessed that Hollykit was not telling her the whole truth about Lionkit’s injuries?

Not eager to find out, Hollykit picked up the dock leaves in her jaws and trotted out of the medicine den. Her heart sank when she saw that the camp was growing busy. Daisy had come out of the nursery and was warming herself in a spot where the sun’s weak rays were just beginning to reach. Her kits huddled together outside the apprentices’ den, blinking sleep from their eyes. They looked like a single soft cloud, Berrypaw’s creamy fur merging with the gray and white of Hazelpaw and Mousepaw. Cinderpaw, Honeypaw, and Poppypaw were sharing tongues by the halfrock. Their slender dappled bodies reminded Hollykit of their mother, Sorreltail, who was nosing through the remains of yesterday’s fresh-kill pile with Thornclaw and Spiderleg.

_ There’s no reason why they should think I don’t have permission to be here,  _ Hollykit told herself. She stalked across the clearing, nodding to the apprentices as casually as she could manage. She avoided looking at Thornclaw and Spiderleg. Her paws burned with every step, but she kept her tail high and tried not to look hurried as she approached the nursery.

She reached the entrance unchallenged and scrabbled through the dock leaves clamped tightly between her jaws.

Ferncloud’s voice startled her. “Where have you been?”

Hollykit dropped the dock leaves and glanced at Lionkit. She was relieved to see that he’d gotten most of the thorns out of his pelt and smoothed down his fur enough to look as though he’d spent the whole night in his nest.

“I told Ferncloud about the thorn in my bedding.” Lionkit put in hastily.

“I bought some dock leaves for Lionkit’s scratch,” Hollykit explained to the den queen. “Sorry I didn’t ask first, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You should have waited until I was awake and asked permission. But I suppose you were only thinking of your littermate, and I can’t disapprove of that.” Ferncloud sighed. “Though StarClan knows how thorns got into the nursery in the first place!” She glanced at her two kits wriggling at her belly. “You must be careful not to track anything in on your pelts when there are small kits in the nursery.”

“We’ll be extra careful in the future,” Hollykit promised. She hurried over to Lionkit with the leaves. “Did you get all the thorns out?” she whispered.

“All except one behind my ear,” Lionkit whispered back.

Hollykit licked the back of Lionkit’s ear and felt the thorn. Gripping it with her teeth she tugged it out.

“I put the rest under the brambles at the edge of the den.” He flicked his tail to the den wall near his nest. Hollykit went and spat out the thorn with the others.

“We can reach under from outside and drag them out later,” she mewed. “Now, where are the worst scratches?” She began to chew up a dock leaf while Lionkit twisted and pointed with his nose to a sore spot on his flank.

The dock leaf tasted foul. “Yuck!” Hollykit screwed up her nose as she chewed. She leaned down and licked the juice into Lionkit’s scratch, just as Leafpool had shown her. As she

dragged her tongue firmly across the wound, Lionkit flinched and let out a squeak of pain.

Hollykit leaped back in alarm.

“Are you two fighting?” Ferncloud asked, not looking up from her kits.

“No,” Lionkit meowed. “The dock juice hurts; that’s all.”

Hollykit felt her tail tremble. She couldn’t do this! Seeing Lionkit’s pain made her feel queasy. But she couldn’t let any of his scratches get infected, and if she was going to become a medicine cat, she would have to get used to treating patients.

She chewed another horrible-tasting leaf and set to work licking the juice into another scratch. Lionkit only winced this time, but it was enough to send Hollykit leaping away again.

“Sorry!” she squeaked. The kit was just about to give up when she remembered Leafpool’s advice.  _ It may sting, but it will save a lot more pain later if you do it properly.  _ Focusing on her auntie’s words, she carried on, forcing herself to ignore Lionkit’s squeaks of pain and the sickening taste of the dock.

“That feels much better,” Lionkit breathed as she tended to his last wound. Hollykit sat back with relief.

Ferncloud looked up. “Why don’t you two go to the fresh-kill pile and have something to eat? Daisy’s in the clearing. I’m sure she’ll keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t get into any mischief.”

Happy to be able to leave the nursery without breaking any rules, Hollykit hurried out into the clearing, Lionkit on her heels. But the sour taste of the dock had ruined her appetite, and she followed Lionkit to the fresh-kill pile without enthusiasm.

Mousepaw, Hazel, and Berrypaw still sat in the flattened grass patch in front of their den. Mousepaw could hardly keep still. “Brambleclaw told me that our assessment would begin after sunhigh,” he beamed.

Hollykit pricked her ears. Daisy’s kits had been training for nearly four moons. It wouldn’t be long before they would be made warriors.

“Who’s assessing us?” Berrypaw questioned anxiously.

“Brambleclaw wouldn’t tell me, “ Mousepaw responded.

“Do you think it’ll be Firestar himself?” Hazelpaw’s tail twitched with excitement. 

“Don’t say that!” Berrypaw breathed. “I won’t remember any of my training if I think  _ he’s  _ watching!”

“Can we hunt together?” Hazelpaw asked.

“Spiderleg said it was up to us,” Mousepaw reported. 

Ashfur and Whitewing were sharing tongues nearby. Ashfur’s whiskers twitched with amusement as he overheard the apprentices talking. “You’d be wiser splitting up!” he called over. “On your own, you might just manage to surprise your prey, but the three of you clumping through the forest will scare everything from here to the sun-down-place.

Whitewing poked him with her snowy paw. “Don’t tease them, Ashfur!” she scolded. “You were an apprentice once. You must remember how tense you were your first assessment.”

Hollykit watched Ashfur mingle with the white she-cat. Whitewing was the kit of Brightheart and Cloudtail, making the gray-flecked tom her uncle. He was also the littermate of Ferncloud. Hollykit realized that she hadn’t seen much of the warrior around the nursery, which was especially strange considering the birth of Ferncloud’s kits. Had the two been avoiding each other?

Brook trotted through the entrance carrying three mice by their tails. Hollykit watched as the Tribe cat dropped her catch on the fresh-kill pile. 

Lionkit eagerly helped himself to one and began to chew hungrily. “Thanks, Brook.” he mewed through a full mouth.

Brook watched him with her soft gray gaze. “You should eat more slowly,” she advised. “In the mountains we say that prey eaten slowly feeds us longer.”

Lionkit, surprised, considered her words. “Okay!” he nodded and began to eat more carefully.

Hollykit eyed the mountain cat twisting to smooth down her brown tabby pelt. She had always liked the sound of Brook’s mew--it was low and strange compared with the forest cats’.

A yowl sounded outside the camp entrance, followed by a threatening hiss. Hollykit recognized Honeypaw’s voice.

Honeypaw’s mentor, Sandstorm, raced toward the entrance tunnel. “Honeypaw?” she called. “What is it?”

Hollykit held her breath. Was the camp being attacked?

Then she heard a friendly yowl of greeting. Sandstorm returned through the thorn tunnel, leading Mothwing, the RiverClan medicine cat, and her apprentice, WIllowpaw. Honeypaw padded after them, her tail bristling with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.” she mumbled. “I didn’t realize who it was. I just smelled RiverClan.”

Sandstorm reassured her apprentice with an old nursery saying. “It’s better to scare off a mouse than welcome a badger.”

Hollykit’s heart leapt like a fish at the sight of Willowpaw. She had met the medicine cat apprentice once before, when Mothwing had brought precious supplies of catmint from the clump that grew in a sheltered part of RiverClan territory. Leafpool had welcomed the gift, since the patch that grew near the abandoned Twoleg nest in their territory had been killed by frost. Hollykit had spoken to Willowpaw then because she wanted to find out what it was like to belong in a different Clan. But this time she wanted to find something else out: how to become a medicine cat’s apprentice.

While Sandstorm had left to find Leafpool, Hollykit scampered across the clearing toward Willowpaw. “Hi!” she mewed shyly.

Willowpaw, who had been looking troubled, brightened up. “Hello, Hollykit!” she purred. “Or is it Holly _ paw  _ now?”

“Not yet,” Hollykit shook her head. “Why are you here?” The RiverClan cats weren’t carrying anything. Perhaps they had come to ask for supplies in return for the catmint.

Willowpaw’s looked down at the kit. “I had a dream.” she stated, “I want Leafpool to help me interpret it.”

“Can’t Mothwing do that?” Hollykit quizzed.

Willowpaw glanced down at her paws. “Mothwing suggested we get Leafpool’s opinion.”

“What was it about?”

Willowpaw looked solemn. “I can’t tell you until I’ve shared it with Leafpool.”

“Mothwing, Willowpaw!” Leafpool stood at the entrance to the medicine den. Sandstorm quickly excused herself and padded off in another direction; but Hollykit didn’t care to look at grandmother. “Welcome! Come in!” She waited, holding back the trailing bramble, while Mothwing and Willowpaw weaved past her into the shadows beyond. Hollykit stared wistfully after them as the leaves swished back into place, shutting off the clan from the important business that was taking place inside. She felt a nudge in her flank and turned to see Lionkit butting her gently with his head.

“Why are you staring at them like a dumb rabbit?” he mewed. “We’ve seen Mothwing and Willowpaw on camp before.”

Hollykit swished around and bore into Lionkit’s eyes with her own wide pools of ember. They glistened with impatience and wonder, and she could no longer keep her wish to herself a moment longer. 

“I want to be a medicine cat!” she blurted out.


	8. Chapter 7

“A  _ medicine cat? _ ” Lionkit gaped, bewildered. “Why?”

“There are other ways to serve your Clan apart from being a warrior,” Hollykit snapped.

“But you’ll be stuck in the camp with all the sick and injured cats instead of out in the forest. You won’t be able to fight either.”

There was no criticism in Lionkit’s tone, only disbelief.

Hollykit did not want to hear about what she would be missing. “But think of how much I’ll  _ know _ ,” she countered. “I’ll learn all about healing herbs, and I’ll be able to share dreams with  _ StarClan! _ ” she passionately explained, willing him to understand. “What could be more exciting than that?”

“...Fighting ShadowClan?”

“But I want to have dreams just like Leafpool and Willowpaw!” Hollykit insisted.

“You already do,” Lionkit purred, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Dreams about hedgehogs!”

“You cheeky kit!” Hollykit squeaked in mock anger. With a small leap, she rolled into Lionkit and dragged him to the ground. The siblings began to tussle, kicking and nipping each other.

“What are you two doing?” Squirrelflight’s stern meow made Hollykti freeze. Lionkit wriggled free, and the two kits sat up and faced their mother. “If you’ve got nothing better to do than make the fresh-kill pile dusty with your fighting, you may as well go back to the nursery”

“But I haven’t eaten yet!” Hollykit protested. 

“Then take something with you,” Squirrelflight began to walk away, but turned her gaze back on her kits. “And take something for Ferncloud, too.”

Hollykit hated eating in the nursery. Prey always tasted better eaten in the fresh air. But she said nothing more. She saw that Squirrelflight had already tuned her attention elsewhere, towards Thornclaw. The tabby tom was resting beneath Higheledge.

“I hope Thornclaw’s remembered that he’s leading the sunhigh patrol,” the flame-colored she-cat mumbled, half to herself.

“You’d better go and remind him, seeing as you’re keeping an eye on everyone around here,” Hollykit muttered.

“What was that?” Squirrelflight’s thoughtful gaze remained on Thornclaw.

“Nothing,” Hollykit mewed guiltily.

“Don’t forget Ferncloud,” Squirrelflight reminded her, padding away.

Hollykit glared after her mother, feeling a surge of rebellious anger. “It wouldn't be so bad if she even noticed she was spoiling our fun!”

“She’s just busy,” Lionkit reasoned. “You know what she’s like.”

Hollykit said nothing, but clawed at the ground. She supposed she wasn’t being fair. Her mother was brave, loyal, and respected by her Clanmates. She was everything that she wanted to be. 

“Let’s go back to the nursery.” he sighed finally.

Hollykit dragged one of Brook’s mice from the pile. Lionkit heaved off a thrush more than half his size and began hauling it toward the nursery. Hollykit guessed that Ferncloud wouldn’t be able to eat such a large piece of prey, but her brother never changed his mind once it was made up.

Back in the nursery she ate the mouse, giving thanks to StarClan for the food before she tucked in. When she had finished she gave her paws and muzzle a quick lick and then lay flat on her belly to peep out under the brambles at the clearing. Lionkit had fallen asleep beside her, and Ferncloud was trying to persuade Foxkit and Icekit to try a piece of the thrush that she had softened with her teeth. Hollykit narrowed her eyes and stared at the entrance to the medicine den, watching for any movement. She needed to speak to Willowpaw again.

At last the brambles twitched and Leafpool led Mothwing and Willowpaw out into the clearing. Hollykit glanced back at Lionkit, still sleeping, and Ferncloud, busy with the kits. As quietly as possible she slithered out under the bramble wall of the den, dislodging a wad of leaves that Squirrelflight had pressed into place the day before.  _ I’ll fix it later,  _ Hollykit vowed as she scooted across the clearing.

“Hello!” she mewed to Willowpaw.

Willowpaw;s ears twitched. She blinked at Hollykit, and the occupied look in her eyes dissipated. “Hi,” she mewed.

“Did Leafpool help you?”

Willowpaw nodded. “I can tell you about the dream now, if you still want to know.”

“Well,” Willowpaw began,” I dreamed that clouds were streaming across the sky, flowing and tumbling across the blue. And then they stopped and the sun scorched down onto the RiverClan camp, shriveling the plants and drying up the nests until there was no shelter from the burning heat.”

Hollykit shuddered. “What did it mean?”

“Leafpool thought it could be a warning of trouble with our water supply. But there’s been plenty of rain this leaf-bare, so it probably doesn’t mean a drought. She advised me to tell Leopardstar to check all the streams near the camp and make sure they are safe.”

Hollykit leaned forward. “How did you become Mothwing’s apprentice?” she asked.

“I helped her with some of her patients when there was an outbreak of illness,” Willowpaw recounted. “I enjoyed the tasks she gave, so I just kept going back into the medicine den until Mothwing suggested I should become her apprentice.”

“Did you always want to be a medicine cat?” 

“I didn’t really think about it,” Willowpaw admitted. “It just sort of happened, and then I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Being a medicine cat is great!”

Hollykit was just about to agree until she spotted Mothwing padding up to the pair. The large she-cat looked gently down at the ThunderClan kit, but Hollykit couldn’t help but shrink back a little. The kit snapped her jaws shut. The smell of reeds and river water hit the back of her throat.

“Hello girls,” the golden tabby medicine cat spoke, raising her tail. ”I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

_ ‘Yes, and you just cut me off!’  _ was what Hollykit wanted to say, but her sudden lack of a voice and Willowpaw shaking her head stopped her. 

“Not at all.” The medicine cat apprentice began. “I was just telling Hollykit here what being a medicine cat is like.”

Mothwing turned her amber slits back to Hollykit, who couldn’t meet the she-cat’s gaze. In a low tone, she spoke: “Are you interested in becoming a medicine cat, Hollykit?”

“...um, yes--but only a little…” Hollykit choked out. 

“Don’t worry,” Mothwing purred. “I won’t tell Leafpool.” 

Forcing her fur to lie flat, Hollykit sat up straighter. She was not going to let these cats see that she was afraid. She had to make a good impression on them if she wanted a place in the medicine cat circle. She was hit with a thought, and looked up the golden she-cat.

“How did you start your training as a medicine cat?” she bravely asked.

Mothwing blinked. “I was chosen by a sign. My old mentor, Mudfur, wouldn’t let me become one until StarClan sent their approval.”

Fear pulled at Hollykit’s pelt once more. Would Leafpool stop her from becoming her apprentice if  _ StarClan  _ voiced their disapproval? She already had someone in mind, a tom. Would he be chosen over her if StarClan wished it so?

“Don’t worry,” Mothwing continued, noticing Hollykit’s face shift. “I’ve been able to serve my clan despite my heritage.” She flicked her tail. “I’m sure you know that I share a father with Brambleclaw, correct?”

Hollykit nodded. Her father’s father was Tigerstar, a treacherous tom who wreaked havoc on the clans when he was still alive in the old territories. Ferncloud had spoken about him with contempt when she told Hollykit, Jaykit, and Lionkit nursery tales. She didn’t fail to miss the sideway stares that some of the elders, and even Dustpelt gave the deputy; as if they saw something that Hollykit just couldn't detect. Whenever she faced Brambleclaw, she only saw her father; a tom who raised her from birth.  _ Not a murderer. _

“Well, the Clans weren’t sure if I was capable of becoming Mudclaw’s apprentice.” Mothwing wrapped her tail around her paws. “But things worked out, and here I am!”

Hollykit watched the RiverClan cat in wonder. “Do cats respect you now that you’re their medicine cat?”

Mothwing shrugged. “I suppose they do. I am their medicine cat, after all.”

“Mothwing?” A voice cut in. “M-Mothwing!”

All three she-cats swiveled around to see Leafpool, trotting towards them. Her paced was hurried, and in her jaws was a bundle of herbs. Hollykit sniffed, but she couldn’t recognize its scent.

“I see you’re in a rush?” Mothwing joked, eyeing the brown cat. 

“I thought you had gone already.” Leafpool placed the bundle at Mothwing’s paws. “Sorry, I couldn’t let you two travel here without a parting gift. Think of it as repayment--for the catmint.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to.” the golden tabby tilted her head. 

“Nonsense, if you can spare some catmint I can spare some goldenrod.” Leafpool insisted. 

_ Goldenrod.  _ Hollykit noted.

Leafpool blinked at her niece. “I see you’ve met Hollykit.”

Mothwing gazed warmly at the kit. Hollykit shrunk, but more embarrassed than fearful. “Of course! I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to my kin  _ again _ .” A big paw landed pat on the kit’s head, roughing the tuft of fur out of place before she left the kit be.

Frankly, Hollykit preferred her auntie Leafpool over this new she-cat.

The RiverClan medicine cat rose to her paws, once more towering over Hollykit. She grabbed the bunch of-- _ goldenrod _ \-- and blinked in appreciation at the ThunderClan medicine cat before padding away. Willowpaw followed close behind, turning one last time to the pair.

“Goodbye, Leafpool!” she called back. “Bye, Hollykit!”

Hollykit watched the two cats disappear through the tunnel. Mothwing’s tale was a welcomed surprise, and her and Willowpaw’s advice had made her even more determined to be Leafpool’s apprentice. Forgetting that she was not meant to be out of the nursery, she hurried after Leafpool, following her into her den.

Jaykit was sprawled in his nest, the soft gray fur of his belly showing. He was clearly sleeping more comfortably than last time Hollykit had visited.

Leafpool turned as Hollykit followed her in. “Do you need more herbs for Lionkit?”

Hollykit shook her head. A question fizzed on the tip of her tongue, but she was struggling for the right words.

“Is something wrong?”

Jaykit flipped over and lifted his head. “What do you want, Hollykit?” he asked, his ears pricking as though he sensed that something important was happening.

Leafpool glanced at him. “Go back to the nursery, Jaykit.” she mewed softly.

“Am I well enough?” he meowed, sitting up.

“As long as you don’t start play fighting the moment you get back,” Leafpool warned him. “But you might as well sleep in your own nest now.”

Jaykit got to his paws. His first steps out of his nest were a little unsteady, but he soon found his balance and padded toward the bramble-covered entrance. “Thanks, Leafpool.” he mewed. His sightless gaze briefly flicked toward Hollykit, taking her by surprise. Sometimes it was almost as if he were looking straight at her, though she knew he couldn’t see her,

“I’ll come and check on you at sundown,” Leafpool promised him.

As soon as Jaykit had disappeared through the foliage, Leafpool sat down. “Now,” she began, gazing at Hollykit, “tell me what’s troubling you.”

“Nothing’s  _ troubling  _ me,” Hollykit answered at once. “But I have something important to ask you.”

A look close to alarm flashed momentarily across Leafpool’s gaze. “What?”

Hollykit took a deep breath. “I want to be your apprentice!” She tensed as she waited for the reply. What if Leafpool refused to take her on?

Leafpool looked stunned. “I never would have thought--” she stopped mid sentence, then meowed gently, “Being a medicine cat is a big commitment. You will rarely fight in battles or go on patrol. You won’t be able to take a mate, or have kits.” Hollykit saw her eyes darken with sadness. Was that regret she saw in their amber depths. There was no time to wonder. “What has made you want to become a medicine cat?”

“I want to be able to help the Clan,” Hollykit told her. “If I were a medicine cat, I could heal my Clanmates when they were sick, and I could share dreams with StarClan.” Leafpool stared at her questioningly, so she went on. “As a warrior I could feed the Clan and defend it-I would  _ die  _ to protect the Clan if I had to--but as a warrior I would be limited to fighting with tooth and claw. As a medicine cat, I could fight with all the knowledge of StarClan. What better way could there be to serve ThunderClan?” she stopped herself, breathless, and stared hopefully up at her aunt.

Leafpool’s tail twitched. “Those are all good reasons,” she agreed.

Hollykit’s heart soared. Was she going to say yes?

“But,” Leafpool went on, “before I can make a decision, I must talk with Firestar/”

Hollykit blinked, feeling a flash of doubt. But she pushed the doubt away.  _ She hasn’t said no. _ “Thanks, Leafpool!” she chirped. She turned and trotted from the den. Of course Leafpool would have to talk to the Clan leader before making such an important decision, she thought as she bounced back across the clearing.

She wriggled into the nursery and found Ferncloud asleep, and her kits quiet for once. Lionkit was plucking the feathers from the remains of the thrush. They would make a good nest lining.

Jaykit looked up from his nest as she squeezed through the entrance. “What was so secret that I had to leave the medicine den?”

“I’m going to be her apprentice,” Hollykit boasted. 

“Whose apprentice?”

“Auntie Leafpool’s, of course.”

Lionkit looked up from the thrush, delighted. “Did she say yes?”

“Well, she’s got to talk to Firestar first, of course.”

“You want to be a medicine cat?: Jaykit mewed, putting his head to one side.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Hollykit demanded.

“I’d hate to be stuck in the medicine den, worrying about sick cats and sorting out piles of old herbs.” Jaykit sank his claws into the moss that was weaved through his nest. “I’d much rather be a warrior, patrolling and hunting and fighting in Clan battles!”

Hollykit looked at her brother, fierce and proud. Firestar had to let him become a warrior!

Hollykit awoke before dawn. The nursery was dark and cozy, warmed by her sleeping denmates. She lay in her nest and listened to an owl calling from the trees lakeside of the camp. She was too excited to go back to sleep. Brambleclaw had told her last night that Firestar would be going ahead with the naming ceremony after all.

“You’ve behaved well and not left the nursery without permission,” he meowed as she took prey from the fresh-kill pile.

Hollykit glanced over to her brothers, who were already eating by the half-buried rock. “What about Jaykit?”

“Don’t worry,” Brambleclaw had reassured her, “Firestar hasn’t forgotten about Jaykit.”

Hollykit rolled over in her nest and stretched. By sunhigh she would know if she was to become Leafpool’s apprentice. She pictured herself working in the medicine den, soothing bellyaches with herbs, rubbing salves onto bruises, going out into the forest with Leafpool to gather herbs--herbs that she’d know the names of, what they smelled like, how to prepare them. Her pelt bristled at the thought of all the knowledge that would be inside her head. Treatment methods tucked in organized pockets, like the herbs in Leafpool’s den. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine how StarClan would appear in her dreams, but instead she saw only herself, a full-fledged medicine cat, leading her own apprentice through the wood, showing one plant after another, demonstrating all the skills and techniques Leafpool had taught her, wandering farther and farther into the darkening forest....

Hollykit blinked open her eyes. Dawn was creeping through the knotted bramble walls. Lionkit and Jaykit were still asleep beside her. Squirrelflight’s nest smelled stale and cold. She must’ve returned late from patrol again and chosen to sleep in the warriors’ den.

Hollykit sat up and stretched.

“Awake already?” Ferncloud whispered. The queen was feeding her kits, her pale gray pelt glowing softly in the half-light.

“I’m too excited to sleep!” Hollykit mewed.

“You may go outside if you like,” Ferncloud allowed. “The dawn patrol will be back before long. They might bring warm prey.”

Icekit wriggled around and stared at Hollykit with round blue eyes. “You won’t be sleeping in the nursery tonight,” she mewed.

Hollykit blinked at her. “No. Hopefully I’ll be in Leafpool’s den. 

Foxkit pushed away from his mother. “I’d rather be in the apprentices’ den with Lionkit!”

“You will be soon,” Hollykit promised.

“Not soon enough!” Foxkit declared. He reached out and caught Icekit’s twitching tail between hi auburn paws. Icekit yanked her tail away from him. “Will you come back and tell us what it’s like being an apprentice?”

“Of course,” Hollykit purred. She dipped her head to their mother. “Bye, Ferncloud.”

Ferncloud gazed at Hollykit, her eyes full of emotion, very close to the look Squirrelflight or Brambleclaw gave her and her brothers. Hollykit identified pride amongst the love, and she thought she spotted a dot of sadness somewhere in her emerald-colored eyes. Suddenly, her desire to leave the nursery dwindled. “Goodbye, Hollykit.” she purred.

Foxkit and Icekit hopped out of Ferncloud’s nest. 

“Bye, Hollykit.” Icekit mewed, reaching up to push her white muzzle against Hollykit’s cheek.

“Bye, Icekit.” Hollykit bent down and licked Foxkit between the ears. “Don’t get into trouble.”

Despite the strange tug she felt in her chest, Hollykit left them behind and squeezed out of the nursery.

The clearing sparkled with dew. Mist clouded in the bushes and clefts that ringed the base of the enclosing rock wall. Hollykit stretched: first her forepaws, then her hind, arching her back and enjoying the fresh scents of the forest.

“Good morning!” Squirrelflight called. She was sitting in front of the warriors’ den, a paw raised, ready to wash behind her ears. Brambleclaw sat next to her.

“Hi!” called back, trotting over to greet them.

Brambleclaw purred loudly. “It’s your big day!” He touched Hollykit’s head with his muzzle.

“It sure is,” Hollykit agreed, trying not to think how close she had come to ruining her chance of being made an apprentice. 

The thorn barrier trembled; the dawn patrol was returning. Cloudtail emerged from the entrance with his apprentice, CInderpaw, and Stormfur trotting behind. They each carried prey in their jaws.

Brambleclaw padded away to meet them as they dropped their catch, his dark tabby pelt glistening where it had brushed dew from the branches overhanging the warriors’ den. “All clear?”

“No cat has crossed the boundaries,” Cloudtail reported. “Although WindClan and ShadowClan are keeping their markers fresh.”

Hollykit noticed Squirrelflight’s ears prick warily. 

“Do you think that’s a problem?” Brambleclaw asked.

Cloudtail looked thoughtful. “No, but it feels as if they’re both making an effort to remind us that they’re there.”

“You think they’re showing signs of aggression?”

“Not aggression,” Cloudtail corrected. “But they never used to be so thorough about marking their boundaries.”

“Should we be stepping up patrols?” Ashfur slid out of the warriors’ den, making Hollykit jump. He paid the kit no mind however, and padded toward Cloudtail and Brambleclaw, and Squirrelflight followed him, leaving Hollykit alone.

“We’ll ignore it for now,” Brambleclaw decided.

“Isn’t that a decision for Firestar to make?” Ashfur meowed.

Brambleclaw looked sharply at the gray warrior, but if the tom had truly meant disrespect, he was hiding it well. His eyes only revealed concern,

Brambleclaw nodded. “I’ll speak to him about it, of course,” he meowed. “But there’s no point overreacting if ShadowClan and WIndClan are trying to provoke us.”

Squirrelflight looked at Cloudtail. “Did you refresh our boundary markers?”

Cloudtail nodded.

Hollykit felt another pelt brush her side. Lionkit had joined her, and Jaykit was scrambling out of the nursery after him.

“What’s going on?” Lionkit quietly mewed.

“The dawn patrol’s reporting back,” Hollykit told him. The idea that ShadowClan and WindClan were pressing on their borders worried her. But if she was going to be a medicine cat, she must learn not to be so bothered by warrior concerns and concentrate instead on the needs of her Clanmates.

She glanced around the clearing. Whitewing, Spiderleg, and Thornclaw shared a pigeon beside the halfrock. Honeypaw and Poppypaw were play fighting on the grass patch outside their den. As she watched, the apprentices stopped and looked up at Highledge. Hollykit followed their gaze, her paws pricking with anticipation.

Firestar was leaping down the tumble of rocks that led from his den. Sandstorm nimbly picked her way after him. Hollykit’s heart felt as if it flipped right over when her grandfather called to the Clan: “Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highledge. It is time to fulfill a promise I made to three of our kits.”

Hollykit glanced at her brothers. This was it! The moment they’d become useful to their Clan!

Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight hurried toward them. Squirrelflight quickly smoothed the fur between Lionkit’s ears.

“Are you ready?” Brambleclaw’s eyes were shining. 

“Totally!” Hollykit mewed.

“Good.” Brambleclaw padded away and sat beside Birchfall.

_ Does that mean Birchfall’s going to become a mentor? _ Hollykit wondered.

Squirrelflight licked Jaykit’s cheek. “Good luck, all of you.” she shuffled away and joined Brambleclaw.

Mousefur emerged stiffly from the elders’ den, guiding her blind denmate, Longtail, with her tail. Honeypaw, Poppypaw, and Berrypaw clustered together, whispering. Whitewing, Spiderleg, and Thornclaw padded over from the halfrock, leaving the remains of their meal behind. Within moments, the whole Clan stood gazing at Firestar. For the second time that morning, Hollykit’s excitement felt closer to anxiety. The expectations of Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight, of Firestar, of the whole Clan, pressed down on her shoulders like a badger’s paws.

She felt a soft muzzle nudging her from behind. She turned to see Leafpool ushering her toward the circle. She searched Leafpool’s eyes, but they gave no clue as to what was about to happen. She only encouraged her forward with a gentle blink.

Hollykit pushed her way between Ferncloud and Daisy and halted. Lionkit and Jaykit squirmed into place beside her, and she felt herself trembling against Daisy’s flank. The cream-colored queen glanced fondly at her and ran a smoothing tail over her black pelt.

“I gather you all for one of my favorite duties,” Firestar announced. “Hollykit, Lionkit, and Jaykit have reached their sixth moon.”

So Jaykit was going to be included in the apprentice-naming ceremony after all.

“They have had an adventurous kithood,” Firestar went on with a hint of amusement in his voice, “but I hope they have learned valuable lessons, and I believe they are ready to become apprentices.”

The Clan meowed in approval. Firestar waited for the noise to die away before going on. “Lionkit!”

The golden brown tabby kit bounced forward, quivering with excitement.

Berrypaw called his name and the other apprentices joined in. Firestar looked at the cloud-darkened sky. “I ask StarClan to watch over you and guide you until you find in your paws the strength and courage of a warrior.”

Lionpaw’s eyes sparkled as he gazed up at the leader.

“Ashfur,” Firestar called.

The pale gray tom lifted his head. His eyes brightened, and excitement showed in the tiny twitch of his tail as he stepped forward.

“You mentored Birchfall, and he is a credit to his Clan,” Firestar meowed. “Now ThunderClan asks you to prove yourself once more a great mentor.”

Ashfur dipped his head as the Clan leader went on. “I trust you to pass on all you have learned to Lionpaw and help him become a warrior the Clan can be proud of.”

“I won’t let ThunderClan down,” Ashfur promised.

Lionpaw hurried forward and raised his muzzle to touch noses with his new mentor.

“Hollykit,” Firestar announced.

Hollykit suddenly forgot to be nervous, and she raced to the center of the clearing, skidding to a halt beside Firestar. His whiskers twitched. “From this day until you receive your warrior name, you will be Hollypaw.”

“Hollypaw! Hollypaw!” Cinderpaw led the chant this time.

Hollypaw stared at the apprentices as they called her new name. Berrypaw and Hazelpaw seemed so big and strong. In the nursery she had been older than Icekit and Foxkit. Now she would be one of the youngest of her denmates. Her heart drummed like paws racing over the forest floor. Then she remembered:  _ I might not be sleeping in the apprentices’ den! _

“Leafpool,” Firestar called.

Yes! Hollypaw felt so light on her paws she was afraid the breeze would carry her away over the trees. She was going to be a medicine cat apprentice!

Leafpool padded forward and stopped beside Hollypaw.

“I know that I am putting Hollypaw in safe paws,” Firestar meowed. “I pray that StarClan gives your apprentice all the strength and wisdom she will need.”

“I will teach her everything I know,” Leafpool promised. She touched Hollypaw’s muzzle with hers, but she didn’t meet Hollypaw’s eyes; instead, she looked past her, her expression clouded.

Surprised, Hollypaw turned and saw that Leafpool was staring at Squirrelflight. She wondered why there was sadness in both cats’ eyes. The new apprentice felt herself deflate.

Jaykit marched into the clearing and stood in front of Firestar. “What about me?”

“Surely he can’t become an apprentice?” Whitewing’s whispered comment hung in the still, damp air.

“Longtail moved to the elders’ den when he went blind,” Thornclaw murmured, as if he agreed that blind cats couldn’t be warriors.

“He wouldn’t be safe out in the forest,” Spiderleg put in.

“Poor mite,” breathed Sorreltail.

Hollypaw’s pelt bristled. Why shouldn’t her brother be given a chance like any other cat?

“I want to be an apprentice like Lionpaw and Hollypaw,” Jaykit spat defiantly.

“Of course you do,” Firestar agreed. “And your mentor will be Brightheart.”

  
  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ABLEISM TW**  
> -internalized ableism/slight ableism towards other character for this chapter. take caution while reading this if your sensitive to these themes--

_ Brightheart? _

Jaykit felt a rush of anger so strong it almost knocked him off his paws. Why had Firestar chosen one-eyed Brightheart when there were so many other warriors to choose from? As if he couldn’t guess!

He dug his claws into the earth, refusing to step forward to greet his mentor. He ignored her embarrassment, although he could sense it like holly leaves pricking his pelt. He ignored the encouraging murmurs of the other apprentices. He ignored Spiderleg’s angry, “Sshh!” which quieted them.

And then he felt a muzzle gently but firmly pushing him forward. Leafpool’s voice murmured in his ear. “Go on.”

Gritting his teeth, he padded toward Brightheart and Firestar.

“I know it must be hard for you,” Brightheart greeted him sympathetically. “But I promise will teach you how to protect your Clan even without sight.”

_ She pitied him! _ He could hear it in her voice. His anger swelled up again, sending blood pounding through his ears.

“ _ Why bother if you think I’m so useless? Why don’t you just send me off to the elders’ den with Longtail? _ ” he hissed vehemently.

Brightheart stiffened. “No cat has said that you’re useless. And Longtail won’t thank you for being rude about him!” she stepped back from Jaypaw and lifted her chin. “I’ve asked him to help with some of your training.”

Jaykit lashed his tail.  _ Oh, great.  _ He thought.  _ Let’s lump all the useless cats together and hope a tree falls on them! _

Firestar stepped between Jaykit and Brightheart. “From this day until you receive your warrior name, you will be Jaypaw.”

“Jaypaw! Jaypaw! Jaypaw!” Mousepaw’s and Berrypaw’s call rain around the hollow, and the other apprentices joined in loudly.

Jaypaw clawed the ground.  _ You don’t have to try so hard! You’re only doing it because you feel sorry for me! _

“Brightheart.” Firestar meowed. “You have never let what happened to you prevent you from being a fine warrior. I can think of no better than you to teach Jaypaw how to best serve his Clan.”

“I will share with him all I have learned,” Brightheart vowed.

_ Big deal _ , Jaypaw thought.

Reluctantly, he forced himself to touch muzzles with Brightheart, accepting her as his mentor. His whiskers brushed the side of her face that had been ravaged when she had been attacked by the dog pack. The space was smooth, but unlike the sleek fur of any cat Jaypaw had felt. It felt strange to sense space where other cats had fur and flesh, and he had to suppress a shudder..

The whole Clan raised their voices to cheer the new apprentices.  _ Not me _ , Jaypaw thought bitterly.  _ There’s not a cat here that thinks I’ll become a great warrior _ ,

When the calls died away Firestar spoke again. “ThunderClan is lucky to have so many apprentices. I hope they will train hard and serve their Clan well.”

“We will!” Lionpaw shouted.

“When can we start training?” Hollypaw asked.

“That’s to your mentors,” Firestar told her.

“Come on, Lionpaw,” Ashfur spoke up. “Let;s find you a nest in the apprentices’ den; then I’ll show you the forest.”

“Right now?” Lionpaw bounced on the frozen earth.

“Why now?”

Hollypaw’s paws pattered on the ground around Leafpool. “Can we go with Lionpaw when Ashfur shows him our territory?”

“It’s a nice idea, Hollypaw,” Leafpool meowed. “But I need to show you the best herb-gathering places, and I’m sure Ashfur will want to show your brother the boundary markers and the best places for hunting.”

“Oh,” Hollypaw sounded disappointed.

“But first, let’s look at the herb store,” Leafpool suggested, “so you get to know some of the leaves we’ll be looking at in the forest.”

“Okay,” Hollypaw agreed, sounding more cheerful.

As Lionpaw and Hollypaw padded after their mentors, Jaypaw sat down crossly.  _ How come they get real mentors?  _ He felt Brightheart’s tail touch his shoulder. “Come with me,” she said simply.

Sullenly he followed her to a clump of wilting grass that overflowed from a quiet alcove in the rocky camp wall.

“I think it’s best if we start…” Brightheart began.

Jaypaw did not listen to the rest. Instead he let his attention slip until her voice had blended with the sound of the wind swishing through the branches above the hollow. He could hear Lionpaw hurrying after Ashfur, eagerly following his mentor out of the camp and into the forest. Hollypaw’s scent was clear beyond the entrance to the medicine den; Jaypaw could taste the tang of the comfrey she was tearing and laying out to dry.

_ At least I’m not a medicine cat apprentice. _ He felt a flicker of gratitude that Hollypaw had taken that role.

He went on scanning the camp. With the sureness he had possessed since his first memory; he knew that Daisy was circling in her nest, preparing for a nap. Mousefur was guiding Longtail back to the elders’ den. He sensed the old she-cat’s longing to be out in the forest; she was in a hunting mood, though her movements were stiff with age. Longtail padded quietly beside her, his limbs still as supple as a warrior’s.

_ It’s not fair he should live in the elder’s den,  _ Jaypaw thought.  _ He’s not old yet.  _

Then, like a storm cloud shadowing the hollow, he sensed a darkness sweep over the camp. He pricked his ears, and heard claws scraping the rocky ledge outside Firestar’s den. He knew by the scent that it was not Firestar who sat up there, flexing his paws. It was Brambleclaw.

Jaypaw knew his father sat up there often, as any other deputy keeping watch over his Clan. But now he could sense something cold and uncomfortable, like a murky fog, in Brambleclaw’s mind. His mind struggled to comprehend it, groping for the right word.

_ Suspicion! _

Brambleclaw was suspicious of his Clanmates! He was not watching over them, but searching for a cat he feared might betray him. Jaypaw shivered, the fur along his spine lifting. Why would any cat betray Brambleclaw? He was a great deputy.

He blanked, and his thoughts jerked back to Brightheart. She had jumped to her paws and was obviously waiting for him to say something. He flicked his tail, wondering how he could cover up the fact that he hadn’t been paying attention. But she had already guessed that he had not heard a word she had said.

She snorted impatiently. “We’re going to see Longtail, remember?”

Jaypaw’s heart sank. More pointless advice from a second-rate warrior. “Okay,” he mewed unenthusiastically.

Brightheart sighed. “Come on.”

Dragging his paws, he followed her across the clearing.

At the entrance to the elders’ den, Brightheart called through the spindly branches that brushed the ground its edge, “it’s Brightheart and Jaypaw!”

“Come in, come in,” Longtail meowed.

Brightheart ducked down under the low branch entrance and padded into the space that ringed the trunk of the honeysuckle bush. Jaypaw followed, keeping his head low, uncertain for once about his surroundings. He had not been in this den before, but knew by the scent that Longtail was alone. Mousefur must have gone out into the forest after all.

“Congratulations, Jaypaw!” Longtail purred. “You’ve been given a great mentor.”

“Thank you, Longtail.” Jaypaw heard shyness and pride in Brightheart’s mew.

“Firestar has set you quite a challenge for your first apprentice, Brightheart,” Longtail remarked.

“Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean--” Jaypaw began hotly.

“I wasn’t referring to your blindness,” Longtail interrupted. “I meant your attitude.”\

“What’s wrong with my attitude?”

“It’s not many cats who’d try foxhunting before they were even out of the nursery.” There was humor in Longtail’s mew.

Jaypaw bristled.  _ I was only trying to help my Clan!  _ But before he could point this out, Brightheart was issuing orders.

“First I want you ro clean out the moss, get rid of any dusty or dirty pieces,” she instructed.” she told him. “I’ll fetch some fresh for now, because you don’t know the best place to gather it.”

Cleaning out bedding! Jaypaw knew it was a routine apprentice task--he had heard Berrypaw and Hazelpaw complain about it often enough—but knowing that Lionpaw was already exploring the territory made him want to snarl.

“Then,” Brightheart went on, “check Longtail for fleas and ticks, and Mousefur too, if she’s back by then. While you’re busy, Longtail can tell you about using other senses rather than sight.”

Jaypaw wanted to wail with frustration. He and Longtail were  _ totally  _ different. Longtail had lost his sight  _ after  _ he had been a warrior. Blindness must have been devastating after relying on his right for his whole life. But Jaypaw had never seen the world with any other senses apart from sound, scent, and touch. Being blind was totally natural for him. Longtail had no idea what that was like. He could probably give Longtail more advice than the blind cat could give him--how to pick the freshest prey from the pile, how to tell where your denmates had been by the scents on their pelts; this blind tom could hardly walk to the  _ dirtplace _ without Mousetail to string him along like some helpless kit!…

“You might as well make a star, Jaypaw,” Brightheart suggested. Was that impatience he heard in her mew?  _ You’ll be feeling more that impatience if you keep giving me rubbish tasks like this!  _ He predicted mutinously.

As Brightheart nosed her way out of the den, he began sorting through the moss, feeling with his paws for pieces that had grown dry and scratchy and sniffing for pieces that were beginning to smell stale. “This apprenticeship is going to be so dull,” he hissed under his breath.

“What was that?” Mousefur had padded into the den, her pelt smelling of the forest. Her pawsteps were uneven, and she breathed in sharply as she sat down. “You’ve missed a bit over here,” she pointed out.

“He’s only just started,” Longtail defended him.

Mousefur snorted. “Does that mean we’ll have him scrabbling around the den until sunhigh? I was hoping to get some sleep.”

“It’s not my fault you’re stiff!” Jaypaw snapped. “You’re the one that went out into the forest when it’s damp.”

He felt Mousefur look closely at him. “How did you know I was stiff?”

“I could tell when you sat down,” Jaypaw replied, hooking out a wad of dry moss and flinging it toward the den entrance. “You moved slowly and made that noise.”

“What noise?”

“A sort of gasp, like it hurt.”

A purr of amusement suddenly rumbled in the old she-cat’s throat. “I see Brightheart is going to have her paws full,” she meowed.

Jaypaw felt a glimmer of hope.  _ Maybe they’ll stop underestimating me quite so much once they realize it doesn’t matter that I can’t see. _

He finished sorting through the moss, then padded over to Longtail and began to part the tom’s fur.

“I bet you can’t wait to start training in the forest,” Longtail meowed. “I remember my first time out like it was last moon.” A wistful edge entered his mew. “Of course, I wasn’t blind then. Everything seemed so green and fresh. But you’ll still love it, even though you’re blind. There are so many scents out there.”

_ I’d kind of noticed _ . Jaypaw felt the hard body of a flea in the warrior’s pelt.

“That’s the one thing I’ve noticed about being blind,” Longtail went on. “Scents become so much sharper and more important.”

_ Thanks for the information _ . Jaypaw cracked the flea between his teeth. “And sounds, of course,” Longtail added. “I can sometimes hear the mice moving at the top of the hollow. I never would have noticed that before. You should make sure you listen really well, all the time.”

Jaypaw began to check the fur around Longtail’s scruff. A tick was lodged behind the warrior’s ear. 

“When it comes to hunting, it’ll help to have sharp hearing and smell. Prey is always hard to see, but smelling it is easy. Even when I could see, it was usually the scent or sound of prey that told me where it was hiding.”

_ You’ll be telling me that a fresh mouse tastes juicier than a stale one next,  _ Jaypaw thought, tugging at the tick harder than he needed to.

“Ow!” Longtail complained.

“How’s it going in here?” Brightheart’s voice sounded at the den entrance. “Have you finished?”

“I think so.” Jaypaw looked hopefully toward Mousefur. “You don’t have any ticks, do you?”

“Only have one in my side, but I can reach it myself,” she replied.

Jaypaw turned to his mentor. “I’ve finished, then.”

Brightheart began bundling pawfuls of fresh moss into the den. “Good. Spread this out and then come with me,” she meowed. “I’m going to show you the territory around the camp.”

_ At last!  _ Hollypaw and Lionpaw had been out for ages.

“Good luck!” Longtail called as Jaypaw followed Brightheart out of the den.

She led him out of the camp and up the steep slope that led lakeward. “This trail leads to the top of the ridge,” Brightheart explained. “It’s steep.”

“Okay.” Jaypaw decided not to tell her that he could already feel the slope beneath his paws. He followed his mentor as she weaved through the trees, feeling the damp leaves slippery underpaw.

“Watch out!” Brightheart called, but Jaypaw could smell the bark ahead of him and swerved just in time to avoid the tree, his whiskers grazing the trunk.

“The trees are thick here, but there’s not too much undergrowth.”

“Oh.” Jaypaw breathed in the scent of a mouse trail as the ground began to flatten out.

“We’re at the top of the ridge now,” Brightheart told him. “Follow my scent and I’ll lead you along the crest.”

“Right.” He could tell by the slope of the land that the forest fell away on either side; it felt as though they were climbing the spine of a great cat.

“If we go up this trail, we’ll be out of the trees soon.” Jaypaw was beginning to feel out of breath, so he didn’t reply. He listened to the flies buzzing around him and shook his head when they tickled his ears.

“We’re out of the trees now, so don’t worry about bumping into anything,” Brightheart meowed. Jaypaw knew they had left the cover of the forest. A light, damp wind brushed his face. 

“Stop here,” Brightheart meowed. But Jaypaw had already halted, feeling the land drop steeply away at his pawtips.

Scents flooded him—distant, strange smells he didn’t know yet—and he could hear water lapping far below. He knew that they were looking out over the forest and lake.

“We’ve followed the ridge out of the forest and right up to the end,” Brightheart explained. “The land slopes down steeply from here to the lake. RiverClan territory is across the water. Over where the sun sets is ShadowClan territory. And if you look back toward where the sun rises you’ll be able to see—” She broke off abruptly.

For the first time that day, Jaypaw felt sorry for his mentor. She must have hoped that her first apprentice would be a healthy kit she wouldn’t have to make special allowances for. If only she realized that he didn’t want any special allowances, that he didn’t need them.

“I might not be able to see what you see,” he told her, “but I can tell a lot from what I can hear and smell and feel.” He lifted his nose. “I know ShadowClan is over there, not just because the stench of them is strong enough to scare a rabbit, but because the tang of the pines tells me there can’t be much undergrowth, so the cats who hunt there must be cunning and good at stalking.” He turned his head. “And over there I can smell the moorland. The wind comes in a great unbroken sweep, undisturbed by trees. The WindClan cats who live there must be fast and small to hunt in such open country.” Then he gazed at the lake in front of them. “I know RiverClan live across the lake, though I can’t smell their scent. It’s hidden by the scents from the lake, which are stronger today because of the wind. But I know that RiverClan will feel the coming rain first because the wind is driving the waves this way—I can hear them slapping against the shore.”

“You can tell all that without seeing it?”

“Yes, of course.”

Suddenly Brightheart stiffened. She was listening intently, ears pricked. “A patrol is coming,” she announced.

Jaypaw had heard it already. A ThunderClan patrol was climbing the ridge toward them, rustling through the bracken and heather. He knew from the scents that it was Dustpelt, Hazelpaw, Thornclaw, and Poppypaw, but he didn’t say so out loud. He was pleased he had impressed Brightheart with his description of what was around them, but he didn’t want her to think he was showing off.

“Hi!” Poppypaw bounded out from the bracken first. Thornclaw followed with Dustpelt and Hazelpaw close on his heels. “You’re out of the camp at last!” Poppypaw mewed.

“Isn’t it great being an apprentice?” Hazelpaw added. “I still remember my first day. I was so excited!”

_ I bet your first day as an apprentice was more exciting than this. _

“We’ve just done a border patrol,” Hazelpaw went on. “And now we’re going to do battle training in the mossy clearing!” Poppypaw finished.

“Great,” Jaypaw muttered.

“You can come with us!” Poppypaw suggested suddenly. She turned to her mentor, Thornclaw. “He can come, can’t he?”

“Perhaps another day,” Brightheart meowed.

“We haven’t finished exploring our territory,” she explained, addressing Jaypaw as much as Poppypaw.

“Oh, okay,” Poppypaw mewed.

“Where are you heading now?” Thornclaw asked Brightheart.

“I’m going to show Jaypaw the old Thunderpath.”

Thornclaw paused. “You’ll be careful?” he cautioned. “Don’t stray over the ShadowClan border.”

Jaypaw bristled. They might have only one eye between them, but they weren’t idiots! As he prepared to snarl a reply, Brightheart mewed sharply, “I know a border marker when I smell it!”

Jaypaw sensed a flash of reproach shoot from Dustpelt. “Firestar trusted Brightheart with Jaypaw,” he reminded Thornclaw quietly.

Thornclaw’s paws rustled on the leafy forest floor. “Of course,” he acknowledged. “Sorry, Brightheart.”

Brightheart met his apology with stony silence, and Jaypaw felt a prick of satisfaction that he wasn’t the only one who felt patronized by the other warriors. He heard the she-cat quietly storm away, leaving the patrol in the dust. 

“There’s a steep slope ahead of us,” Brightheart warned as they set off.

_ You don’t say!  _ Jaypaw bit back the sharp reply, feeling the curve of the ground under his paws.

“Can you manage it?”

“Of course I can.” Angrily Jaypaw stepped forward. To his surprise, the ground dropped away much more steeply than he expected, and he half fell, half skidded down the muddy slope, snatching the earth to slow his descent until a clump of heather slowed it for him.

“Are you okay?” Brightheart panted, catching up with him.

Jaypaw struggled out of the heather, then gave his chest a couple of brisk licks. “I’m fine,” he mewed.

“That was quite a tumble. We can rest if you want.” Brightheart offered.

“I told you, I’m fine,” Jaypaw hissed. He shook the last scraps of heather from his pelt. “Which way now?”

He could feel Brightheart watching him closely, but she said nothing more about his fall. “Come on,” she continued. “We can head around to the old Thunderpath from here.”

Jaypaw padded after her, furious with himself for losing his footing so easily just when Brightheart seemed to be treating him like a normal apprentice.

The wind had picked up by the time they reached the old Thunderpath. Jaypaw smelled rain on its way.

“We’ll head back to the camp from here,” Brightheart told him when they reached the gap in the trees where Twolegs had once cut a path, now overgrown and deserted.

“But there must be more ThunderClan territory than this!” Jaypaw objected.

“Too much to explore today,” Brightheart meowed.

Crossly Jaypaw turned away from the Thunderpath and followed Brightheart back into the trees. He didn’t believe that they couldn’t circle the whole territory in one day.

Brightheart obviously thought he wouldn’t be able to cope with a long day out of the camp.

They padded through the trees. Rain was beginning to fall, spattering on the leaves above them. Jaypaw looked up just as a raindrop found its way through the canopy and splashed onto his nose. He shivered and shook off the wetness. Perhaps it was not so bad that they were going back to the hollow. The rain was cold, and the wind that carried it over the lake even colder. He heard Brightheart’s step quicken and guessed she must be feeling the same way.

Then he stiffened.

There was another scent on the breeze, sharper than the rain and the leaves. Memories flooded him of his terrifying dash through the forest. Fox! Another sniff showed it was the same fox that had chased him over the edge of the hollow, with the scent of earth and bracken in its pelt. And it was close. Jaypaw dropped into a defensive crouch and opened his mouth to warn Brightheart, but her fear-scent told him that she had smelled the creature already.

“Run!” Brightheart ordered, throwing herself between the fox and Jaypaw.

“I won’t leave you!” Jaypaw yowled. “I can fight!”

He heard the clack of teeth as the fox snapped at Brightheart. She hissed, her paws skidding as she dodged. The fox’s pained screech told Jaypaw that she had caught it with a claw as it had lunged past. A rush of air tugged his fur as the fox darted past him. He twisted, claws unsheathed, and prepared to lunge forward. The fox was scrabbling to turn on the slippery leaves for another attack. Jaypaw leaped, spitting, but something tugged him back. His tail was caught in a bramble bush! He collapsed on the ground, dragged back by the thorns. A heavy paw landed on his back, knocking the wind from him. The fox had thundered straight over him, heading once more for Brightheart.

The one-eyed warrior screeched, anger and fear combined, and Jaypaw froze with terror.

Then he heard Thornclaw’s yowl only rabbit-lengths away. The patrol had come! 

The air filled with the battle cries as warriors and apprentices streamed into the clearing, ears flattened and claws unsheathed. The fox let out an angry yelp and raced into the trees, with Dustpelt and Hazelpaw pounding after it. Jaypaw struggled to his paws, yanking his tail to unsnag it from the bramble bush.

“Jaypaw!” Poppypaw was at his side. “Are you okay?”

He wrenched his tail free with the sound of ripping fur. “I’m fine!” he snapped.

“Did the fox hurt you?” Brightheart called.

Jaypaw was relieved to hear his mentor. He smelled no blood on her, and her voice was strong. The fox had not wounded her.

“Don’t tell me you tried to fight the fox?” Thornclaw demanded. “You should have run for help!”

“I couldn’t leave Brightheart alone with it,” Jaypaw objected.

“I thought you would have learned by now that you’re no match for a fox!” Thornclaw growled. Jaypaw curled his lip but said nothing.

“Is your tail okay?” Poppypaw asked sympathetically.

Jaypaw lashed it over the leaf-covered ground, ignoring the pain of the thorns still stuck in it. “It’s fine,” he muttered.

The whole patrol must have seen him struggling like a helpless kit, defeated by a bramble bush. A hot wave of embarrassment washed over him from nose to tail.

“Will Dustpelt and Hazelpaw be all right?” he asked.

“They’ll chase the fox away from the camp,” Thornclaw told him. “I don’t think it’ll turn on them. Not after the fright we gave it.”

“We should get Brightheart and Jaypaw back to camp and send a patrol after them,” Poppypaw suggested.

“Good idea,” Thornclaw agreed.

  
  


The rain eased as dusk began to chill the air. Jaypaw lay pressed into the same sheltered clump of grass where Brightheart had taken him that morning. He had wanted to be alone, and the thorny wall of the warriors’ den hid him from the rest of the camp. But now Lionpaw had returned with Ashfur; he could hear them in the center of the clearing.

“Where’s Jaypaw?” Lionpaw sounded worried.

Hollypaw answered from outside the medicine cat’s den.

“I haven’t seen him, but Brightheart’s back. He must be in the camp.”

“Shall we ask her where he is?”

Jaypaw didn’t want Brightheart to tell them what an idiot he had made of himself today. He slipped out and headed Hollypaw and Lionpaw off at the fresh-kill pile.

“There you are!” Hollypaw called.

“Hi,” Jaypaw muttered. He padded past them and pulled a mouse from the top of the pile.

Hollypaw followed him and picked up a sparrow. She dropped it on the ground next to Jaypaw while Lionpaw rooted among the prey until he found the fresh-smelling body of a vole. “I caught this myself!” he announced proudly, tossing it onto the ground beside Hollypaw.

“You caught prey on your first day?” Hollypaw sounded impressed.

“Well,” Lionpaw admitted, “Ashfur spotted it and showed me how to stalk it.”

“He probably held it down for you to finish off,” Jaypaw growled.

There was a moment’s silence; then Hollypaw brushed her tail over Jaypaw’s pelt. “I heard you ran into trouble,” she mewed. “It could have happened to any cat.”

Jaypaw shrugged away her tail. “But it happened to me,” he growled.

“It’s only your first day,” Lionpaw reminded him.

_ Yes, and you caught a vole on your first day, didn’t you? _

Hollypaw sniffed at the thorns in Jaypaw’s tail and plucked at one with her teeth.

“I can do that myself,” Jaypaw hissed, flicking his tail away from her.

“Do you want some herbs?” she offered. “I know which ones will soothe the pain and stop infection.” There was pride in her voice.

“No need.” Jaypaw took a bite of mouse, but it felt dry and tasteless. He nudged the mouse over to Lionpaw with his muzzle. “Here, you finish it. I’m not hungry.”

“Wait . . .” Lionpaw began. But Jaypaw padded gloomily away.

He headed toward the apprentices’ den, which was underneath a bushy yew tree growing close to the wall of the hollow. It took him a moment to figure out where the entrance was, and when he had, he nosed his way in cautiously. The unfamiliar scents confused him—moss rich with the smell of different apprentices, the strong tang of yew sap. He had no idea what lay around him or where he should lie down.

“Hey, Jaypaw.” Hazelpaw’s mew came from the far side of the den. “There’s no one here but me. Just head toward my voice. There’s some clean moss next to my nest where you can sleep.”

Jaypaw was too tired and miserable to make a fuss about being helped. Gratefully, he padded toward Hazelpaw’s nest, and as he did, the scents around him began to fall into place, like a flight of birds settling one by one into a tree. He smelled Poppypaw’s scent, so stale that she had clearly not been in here since sunrise; Berrypaw’s nest had been slept in more recently, and Honeypaw’s smelled warm as though she’d just left it. Jaypaw weaved cautiously among the little patches of scent until he found the clean moss beside Hazelpaw.

“Thanks,” he murmured, settling down.

“No problem,” she answered sleepily.

He was glad she sounded too tired to talk. Right now, all he wanted to do was to tuck his nose under his paw and sleep.

  
  
  



	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ABLEISM TW**  
> \--internalized ableism

Jaypaw opened his eyes and found himself in lush woodland. Tree’s soared into the blue sky above his head. Ferns unfurled their arching fronds above his back. Warm air, carrying the wild scents of the forest, lapped at his fur Everywhere thrummed with damp green life.

_ I can see! This must be another dream. _

Jaypaw stood, looking around wildly. Was he back in StarClan? If so, where was Spottedleaf? He sniffed, searching for the herb-like scent of the starry she-cat.

“Spottedleaf?” he called. “Bluestar? Lionheart?” Perhaps his other warrior ancestors were around, and then they could tell him why he was here. He strained his ears, but there was no sound; none other than the soft rustling of the leaves from the forest behind him.

Frustrated, Jaypaw stood up and wandered into the trees. If StarClan wanted to keep pulling them into their hunting grounds, the least they could do was send a cat to give him an explanation! He felt a twinge of resentment. Why did StarClan have to be so difficult? He was only trying to get a good night’s sleep.

At least he felt warm here, and safe. And he could  _ see _ . He began to run and found his paws carrying him so swiftly through the trees that he felt as if he were flying. He raced beneath the ferns, listening to the slightest whisper of the leaves and smelling the forest scents that wafted to the very edges of his consciousness.

Suddenly, he sensed emptiness ahead. No scent. No sound.

His fur prickled with unease, and he slowed his pace. Through the gaps in the trees he could see a wall of mist blocking his way. He padded forward, and as the mist began to swirl about his paws, he noticed that the undergrowth was becoming thinner. The trees around him grew stiff and lifeless, their branches too high for a cat to reach.

In the murky distance he saw two figures, forms muted by the foul-smelling fog. He stopped, and fell into a crouch. Looking around, he found a bush less barren than the others and dashed behind it. Peeking out, he found the figures padding his way. His pelt stood on end as he stared ahead. He trained his eyes on the second figure, and found it...familiar? The broad shoulders and wide muzzle reminded him of his father, Brambleclaw. 

Glancing at the other shape, he also found familiarity in it’s figure. As the shapes approached his hiding place, he breathed in, catching the stench of rotten mushrooms and mud. He forced back the urge to gag, and kept still.

“He shows promise, does he not?” one of the cats spoke.

The second cat snorted. “He could barely manage a fox without getting his hide tangled in a bush.”

The first cat began again. “But what matters is that he tried to throw himself at it regardless.” They stepped in the way of the other cat. “Even with his size and lack of sight.”

Jaypaw bristled. Could these strange cats be talking about him? He barely acknowledged the strange swell in his chest. Instead, he leaned farther out of the bush, straining to make out the stranger’s faces.

The first cat remained silent.

“We can work with that.” the second cat continued. “Lionpaw hasn’t done anything close to impressive as of yet.”

_ Lionpaw? Now these cats were talking about his littermates? _

“Hold on-” the other tom cut in.

“And that herb-brained Hollypaw suddenly switched over to training as a medicine cat!”

_ Hollypaw, too? _

The first tom continued. “Jaypaw might be our only chance to-”

“ _ Silence,  _ Hawkfrost!” the first tom spat. His strong voice shook Jaypaw. The second figure snapped his jaws shut instantly, backing away from the other tom. The apprentice watched as the brown tom silently crept forward, sniffing the nasty air.

_ Hawkfrost? _

Silence stretched out uncomfortably, and the prickling feeling of unease tickled Jaypaw’s pelt once more.

“Someone is here…” the second tom hissed.

Jaypaw inhaled sharply and practically threw himself back into the bush. The twigs poked and snapped at him and he landed squarely in something rotten. He silently cursed at himself for making so much noise and he hoped that the foul-smelling cats hadn’t heard his clumsiness, but it was too late. He now felt the low-voiced tom’s paws stomp towards his hiding place, and a terrifying snarl met his ears. The apprentice shrank down,  _ praying  _ that the moldy leaves would mask his scent.

“Jaypaw?”

The first tom began to growl, joining his look-alike. Jaypaw felt his heart thudding harshly in his chest. There was no way he could outrun these cats, just look at their muscles! He’d be lucky if he could escape this awful forest with his body still intact. The crunching of old foliage stopped in front of him. Then Jaypaw knew that he had been spotted. Jaypaw shook violently and met the amber eyes that bore into his skull.

“Jaypaw!”

A paw jabbed at his side, catching him painfully between the ribs. Jaypaw hurled himself out of his nest, fur fluffing up wildly.

“Are you alright?” Lionpaw mewed. 

He had been dreaming. 

_ It was more like a nightmare! _

“Watch out!” Jaypaw hissed. “You scared me out of my fur!”

“Sorry?” Lionpaw apologized.

“Why are you so fidgety this morning?” Jaypaw lifted his muzzle. He could smell dew on the leaves and guessed that it was hardly dawn. Only Lionpaw and Berrypaw were stirring. 

“We’re going on border patrol with Ashfur and Brambleclaw,” Lionpaw explained excitedly.

“Big deal,” Jaypaw muttered, “Brambleclaw’s only taking you because nothing happens on the borders these days.”

“What about ShadowClan and WindClan leaving extra scent markers?”

“Are you scared of smells?” Jaypaw snapped back.

Lionpaw flinched away from him.

“I’m sorry,” Jaypaw murmured. “I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“Yeah,” Lionpaw agreed quietly. “I’ll see you later.” Without another word he padded out of the den, followed by Berrypaw.

Jaypaw wriggled deeper into his nest, cold now Lionpaw had gone. He began to drift back to sleep, but found the idea of being in that murky forest again less than ideal.

He wondered why those two toms had been talking about him and his brother and sister. The bigger tom had called the other ‘Hawkfrost’, a name not unfamiliar to his ears. Occasionally he had heard the warriors discuss the tom. A former RiverClan warrior found dead on ThunderClan territory, and no cat seemed to know why. He was Brambleclaw’s half-brother, his kin. 

_ Maybe that’s why he had been interested in us _ .  _ We’re family. _

The fresh scent of dawn was filtering slowly into the den when Mousepaw and Hazelpaw began to yawn and stretch.

Hazelpaw nudged Jaypaw. “Stop pretending to be asleep,” she mewed.

Jaypaw lifted his head reluctantly.

“Has Berrypaw gone already?” she asked him.

“Yes.”

“Oh, well,” Hazelpaw sounded disappointed at missing her brother. “I’ll see him at battle training later.”

“Hazelpaw!” Dustpelt’s deep growl sounded through the den entrance. “The fresh-kill pile is empty. Bring Mousepaw. We’re going hunting.”

Hazelpaw’s tail fluffed up. “Great,” she chirped. “I thought I was going to have to spend the morning cleaning out the elders’ den!”

_ Why would they ask you to do that when they’ve got me?  _ Jaypaw thought as she disappeared from the den with Mousepaw.  _ Daisy’s kits have more important duties than me, and they’re not even Clanborn! _

“Hi, Jaypaw!” Poppypaw called. “How was your first night in the apprentices’ den?”

“Fine,” Jaypaw mewed halfheartedly.

Cinderpaw was stirring too. “What are you doing today?” she asked.

“Well, I’m not patrolling and I’m not hunting,” Jaypaw informed her.

“Perhaps Brightheart has planned battle training for you,” Poppypaw suggested.

“I hope so!” Cinderpaw put in. “We’re training in the clearing this morning. It’d be great if you could come too.”

Jaypaw did not answer.

“I hope we see you there,” Poppypaw called over her shoulder as she headed out of the den.

_ And rabbits might fly _ , Jaypaw muttered to himself.

Only Honeypaw remained in the den, and she was fast asleep. Jaypaw wasn’t going to wait for her to wake up and start chirping like a fledgling about what duties she was looking forward to. Instead he crept from his nest and ducked out of the den.

The frosty ground beneath his paws told him that the skies were clear today. The camp was already busy, even though the sun had not yet begun to warm the hollow. Firestar stood with Brackenfur and Spiderleg, organizing hunting parties and border patrols. 

Leafpool was heading for the nursery, and Squirrelflight was sharing tongues with Stormfur and Brook.

There was no sign of Brightheart. She had probably forgotten Jaypaw and gone on the dawn patrol without him. Resentment rose like bile in his throat.  _ I don’t need to stand here, waiting for instructions like a hopeless kit! _

Looking towards the medicine den, Jaypaw hurried across the clearing. If Brightheart couldn’t be bothered with giving him useful tasks for the day, he’d use his time the way  _ he  _ wanted. Reaching the den’s entrance, Jaypaw slipped past the bracken.

Instantly Jaypaw was greeted with the strong scent of herbs. 

_ Yarrow, Borage, and Comfrey.  _ He identified effortlessly.

His sister, Hollypaw, was curled up in her nest. He would’ve assumed she was still sleeping if not for her surprised voice cutting through the silence. “Oh! Hey Jaypaw!” she mewed.

Jaypaw dipped his head. “Hey.” 

Hollypaw rolled over. “I barely heard you come in! Do you need something? Leafpool just left a moment ago.”

“No, and yes, I know.” Jaypaw stepped further into the den. “I have nothing to do.”

“Brightheart didn’t send you with Poppypaw and Cinderpaw?” she asked.

“Of course she didn’t,” he grumbled. “She probably has better things to do anyways.”

Shock emanated off of the she-cat. “What? I’m sure she’ll have something for you to do later-” 

“She already went on patrol without me!” Jaypaw snapped. “She doesn’t even trust me enough to catch a mouse.” he clawed the ground. “After yesterday she’ll never trust me again.”

Jaypaw felt Hollypaw sit up. “Jaypaw,” she began, flicking her tail. “Did she teach you a hunting crouch yet? Anything that would help you while ”

“Well, no, but-” 

“Then that’s the reason she didn’t come to get you.” Hollypaw reasoned. “You only started your training yesterday.”

“But you’ve already memorized some herbs,” Jaypaw countered. “And Lionpaw caught his first prey yesterday!” 

“But you went and explored the territory!” Hollypaw shouted. “Leafpool only took me to the old twolegplace.”

“At least Leafpool trusts you enough to pick your own plants!” Jaypaw growled. “Brightheart only told me everything I know already!” He sat down hard and twitched his whiskers.

Silence spread between the two siblings, Jaypaw still prickling with anger. He let his mind reach out to Hollypaw, but was surprised to find sadness, heavy in her chest.

“Well,” she began again, her voice much more quiet. “You can always help me with sorting herbs.”

Jaypaw lashed his tail. “Oh great!” he hissed. “One more  _ useless  _ thing everyone can dump on me!”

Hollypaw stomped her paw. “It’s not useless, mouse-brain! It’s knowledge passed down from one medicine cat to another, and it has been for generations!”

“What, did Leafpool tell you that?”

“She did, and it’s important!” she hissed. “You may not be able to see past your own whiskers, but I can appreciate what my mentor is doing for me!” 

Jaypaw wanted to snap back at her for her comment, but instead he remembered how his sister had swooned over her position in the days before this apprenticeship. Becoming a medicine cat was just as important to her as becoming a warrior was to him. Guilt crept up his spine, and he relaxed.

“Sorry,” Hollypaw began. “I shouldn’t have said-”

Jaypaw held up a paw. “No, I shouldn’t have said that it was useless.”

Hollypaw stayed silent.

“I don’t know,” he huffed, wrapping his tail around his paws. “You two just seem to be making better progress than me. That’s all”

Quiet settled over the two apprentices again before Jaypaw heard Hollypaw’s crunching paws meet him. “I’m still sorry.” Hollypaw spoke. 

“Me too.” Jaypaw turned to his sister.

“You don’t have to help with the herbs if you don’t want to.” she continued. Jaypaw didn’t have to reach out to feel the disappointment radiating off of her. He tightened his lip. He wasn’t sure when Brightheart would be back, but the patrol had only just left. The day was still new, and he didn’t have to be completely useless while he waited. No, he could make do without Brightheart. Instead, he rose to his paws.

“No, I’ll help.” he replied. He padded to the wall stuffed with medicinal plants and empty leave bundles, and he sensed surprise from Hollypaw. “Besides,” he purred. “You’d be helpless without me.”

“Hey!” Hollypaw laughed, trotting after her brother. “Like you said, I  _ did  _ learn something yesterday.”

Jaypaw found a pile of unsorted poppy seeds. “Yeah, yeah,” he joked, feeling warm. “Which is why you need  _ me, of _ all cats, to help.”

“Whatever. You have a good nose.” she retorted.

The two siblings sat in comfortable silence, with the exception of either Jaypaw directing sister to the correct herb or Hollypaw muttering the occasional herb name; as if she was trying to drill the word into her memory. Jaypaw soon forgot about his dream and his mentor; he let those concerns slip away as he bickered with his sister, a cozy feeling enveloping his pelt. He found that the feeling was mirrored on Hollypaw.


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000+ hits?? you guys are seriously amazing. im glad this project has captured your attention! now get ready for this 9-page chapter, whew!

Lionpaw glanced up at the moon shining full and bright into the hollow. _ Clouds aren’t going to stop this Gathering. _

Dustpelt, Spiderleg, Brightheart, and Ashfur were already waiting by the camp entrance. Firestar stood beneath Highledge with Sandstorm and Brambleclaw, talking quietly to them.

“Why are we hanging about?” Hollypaw fussed, tearing the grass with her thorn-sharp claws.

“It can’t be much longer,” Lionpaw mewed. He felt every bit as excited as his sister. This was their first Gathering, their first chance to meet apprentices from rival Clans, to swap stories and compare training—knowing that the next time they met might be in battle, with claws unsheathed and teeth bared. 

“It looks like Firestar’s waiting for Leafpool,” Hazelpaw put in.

“Why’s it taking her so long?” Hollypaw complained.

“She’s only sorting through the new herbs we gathered before sunhigh.”

“She might sort them quicker if she had her apprentice helping.” Berrypaw pointed out.

“I tried helping!” Hollypaw protested. “But Leafpool said it would be quicker if she did ti herself.”

Mousepaw’s whiskers twitched. “Are you sure you’re cut out to be a medicine cat?”

“Of course I am,” Hollypaw snapped. “One day you’ll be waiting for  _ me  _ to come out of the medicine den!”

“They’re only teasing you,” Lionpaw soothed her. He thought it was odd that Daisy’s kits were all going to the Gathering, while the Clanborn kits, Cinderpaw, Honeypaw, and Poppypaw, were staying behind. _ I guess it’s only fair, _ he decided.  _ Three Clanborn apprentices and three non-Clan. Speaking of… _

“Where’s Jaypaw?” Lionpaw mewed. He hadn’t seen his littermate since around sunhigh. He had been assigned to clean the elder’s den by Brightheart. Apparently, Longtail was helping Jaypaw with his training. Lionpaw felt a flash of pity for his brother; despite already having caught a few pieces of fresh-kill with his mentor, the blind tom had barely been outside of camp. Brightheart hadn’t taken him to explore the territory more than once, but Lionpaw had been to the WindClan border and back now with Ashfur. It wasn’t fair! 

_ Could Longtail really know that much?  _ He wondered. 

“I’m here.” Jaypaw’s voice rang out. Lionpaw spotted him trotting towards them, away from the dirtplace. His tail dragged behind him.

Lionpaw frowned, but stood to greet his brother. “What’s wrong? Did you eat too much vole?”

“Of course not.” Jaypaw twitched his whiskers. “I just want to head to the Gathering, already. Leafpool is as slow as a slug.”

“I’m glad you’re coming.” Lionpaw mewed.

“You’re the only one who is.” Jaypaw grumbled.

“Not true,” Lionpaw argued. “Firestar chose you to come with us, remember?”

“Firestar is foolish to bring a blind cat to the Gathering.”

“What do you mean?”

“C’mon. Having an apprentice like me in the Clan is bad enough,” Jaypaw hissed. “Imagine what the other Clans would think if they saw me there.”

That wasn’t true! Jaypaw had been chosen just as any other apprentice. Before Lionpaw could say anything, he heard his grandfather’s call.

“Time to go,” he told Jaypaw. “You should be more excited for your first Gathering. C’mon, let’s hurry before they leave us behind.”

Lionpaw, Hollypaw, and Jaypaw ran after the other apprentices, who were already racing toward the entrance. Firestar padded to the head of the party, and with a sharp nod, bounded away through the tunnel. Lionpaw charged after his Clanmates, his heart soaring as their paws drummed the forest floor. He felt Hollypaw’s pelt brushing his, rippling with excitement, and he could hear Jaypaw bounding beside him. A moment later they burst out of the tunnel and charged up the slope.

They raced past Sky Oak and down to the lake. The pebbles on the shore clattered beneath their paws. The stones grazed Lionpaw’s pads but he didn’t care; he could already see the island on the far side, rising from the water, crowded with trees. Their slender leafless branches reached up to the star-pricked sky, trembling like whiskers, and Lionpaw flicked his tail excitedly.

As the cats began the long trek through WindClan territory, Firestar steadied the pace. They passed the horseplace, where Daisy used to live, and crossed into RiverClan territory, always keeping within five tail-lengths of the waterlinem as agreed by all the Clans. The ground became muddier as they neared the island. Lionpaw slowed down after he nearly slipped. He didn’t want to arrive covered in mud. Looking back on his brother, he saw Brightheart trot beside him. His face held a sour expression, but his ear was angled towards his mentor as she described the landscape. His paws were careful, but unsure. 

Lionpaw bumped into Hollypaw, causing her to stumble. He paws skidded on the mud, and for a moment he thought she’d fall straight into the wet earth. Luckily she caught herself, but she turned in snapped in a hushed tone: “Watch out, Mousebrain!” 

Lionpaw mumbled an apology, well aware of the eyes from a few of his Clanmates. He couldn’t make a fool out of himself, especially tonight! Looking ahead, he could make out dark shapes streaming over the fallen tree that bridged the gap between shore and island. The scent of WindClan mingled with the scents of ShadowClan and RiverClan; the other Clans were arriving.

“Will you mention the border markers?” Lionpaw heard his father meow. He peered past Mousepaw and Spiderleg and saw Brambleclaw keeping pace with Firestar.

“Do you mean the fact that ShadowClan and WindClan have marked every tree and blade of grass on our borders?” Firestar asked.

“Yes,” Brambleclaw replied.

“I can’t dictate what the other Clans do in their territory,” Firestar reminded him.

“But it’s an open show of hostility!” Brambleclaw growled.

“We’re not going to react,” Firestar told him. “Yet.”

“Firestar’s right.” Ashfur hurried to catch up with them. “It would be better to send out more frequent border patrols than give the other Clans the satisfaction of knowing they’ve got us worried.”

“It takes more than the stench of ShadowClan to worry us!” Firestar declared. He broke into a run, bounding the last few tail-lengths to the fallen tree, and skidded to a halt by the withered roots.

Lionpaw stared up at the trunk that bridged the water between the shore and the island. The air was filled with the scents of WindClan, ShadowClan, and RiverClan. “We must be the last to arrive!” he whispered to Hollypaw. Suddenly he felt shy about facing all three Clans at once. “Do you suppose Ferncloud’s nursery stories about ShadowClan are true?”

“You don’t actually believe they let their elders starve, do you?” Hollypaw mewed scornfully.

“Well, no,” Lionpaw murmured. “But what if all the other apprentices are bigger than us?”

“We’ve been apprentices for only a quarter moon,” Hollypaw pointed out. The tom had caught up with them. “There are bound to be some apprentices bigger than us.”

“Compared to me?” Jaypaw cut in. The tom had caught up to them, Brightheart watching him closely from farther back. “Yeah, I’ll be like a flea to those shadow-crawlers.”

Firestar leaped up onto the fallen trunk, picked his way carefully across to the far shore, and jumped down. The pebbles swished beneath his paws as he turned to watch his Clanmates cross. Brambleclaw followed him, then Dustpelt, and before he knew it, Lionpaw was watching Hollypaw leap up ahead of him onto the tree. The smooth, black water flowed beneath her, lapping gently at the dead branches that held the tree fast in the lakebed. She weaved her way through the stubby twigs and knots until she reached the other end. Then she jumped down and turned to watch Jaypaw cross.

Jaypaw reached a paw out, until Brightheart swiftly slid beside him. “Watch the bark.” she whispered. “Just walk straight ahead and you’ll be fine.”

“I know that.” Jaypaw bristled. 

And before his mentor could reply, the blind tom had fully pulled himself onto the slippery log. For a moment, he patted his paw sightless on the bark, feeling for his next foothold. Then he carefully put one foot in front of the other; steadily shuffling above the calm waters. Lionpaw didn’t fail to notice the anxious flash in Brightheart’s eye. Ashfur suddenly came into view, eyeing the crossing apprentice very closely. 

Finally, Jaypaw had reached the other end, stopping just before the fallen trunk’s roots. Hollypaw mouthed something to him, but she and the others were too far away to be heard. Brambleclaw suddenly reached for Jaypaw and grabbed his scruff between his teeth, helping him to the ground. 

Lionpaw bristled.  _ He could’ve stepped down on his own! _

As if they heard his thoughts, all eyes turned to the fluffed up apprentices. He shrank back a little, but remembered that it was his time to cross! Trembling with excitement, he scrambled up onto the branch. The bark was surprisingly slippery and his paws slithered in all directions. He felt the tree jerk and looked back to see that Ashfur had leaped up behind him. Ahead of him was a jutting shard of bark where a smaller branch had once sprouted, He curved his body around it, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the far end of the tree.

Suddenly his forepaw slipped and his paw shot off the trunk. He felt himself begin to fall and stared in horror at the water shining cold and dark beneath him.

A gray pelt flashed behind him, and Lionpaw felt the nudge of a muzzle against his flank. It pushed him up, supporting him until he regained his balance. His mentor had saved him from a humiliating start to his first Gathering.

“Thanks!” Lionpaw gasped.

“It’s always tricky the first time,” Ashfur meowed.

Lionpaw unsheathed his claws and gripped the trunk like a squirrel the rest of the way. He jumped down onto the beach, happy to be on solid ground once more. The pebbles felt good on his tingling pads. Jaypaw stared at him with sightless eyes, amusement clear on his face.

“Thought you were fish food for a moment there,” Hollypaw welcomed him.

“Me too!” Lionpaw purred.

He longed to race into the trees, impatient to see what was there, but he forced himself to wait while the others crossed. Hazelpaw weaved her way among the jutting twigs; Berrypaw pushed his way through with his powerful shoulders, while Spiderleg slipped around them like a snake, clearly accustomed to the crossing. Brightheart quickly leapt on the bark, practically trotting around the two apprentices with him. Lionpaw felt very small and inexperienced, but he lifted his chin and forced his fur to lie flat.

Finally, all the ThunderClan cats stood on the beach. Firestar swept his gaze over them, then, with a single nod, turned and padded into the trees.  _ At last! _ Lionpaw raced between the shadowy trunks, bracken scraping his pelt. His ears twitched with anticipation as the trees thinned and a clearing opened ahead.

There were cats everywhere. Lionpaw had never seen so many different shades of pelts. Some were lithe, some broad-shouldered. Most seemed much bigger than him. There were more cats here than Lionpaw had imagined could live around the lake, and these were just a few from each Clan! At the far edge of the clearing, with the lake behind it sparkling distantly through the leaf-bare forest, he saw the Great Oak, the center of every Gathering.

“Woah…”Jaypaw breathed, his nose twitched widely. 

“Look at the Great Oak!” Hollypaw chirped, motioning towards the massive tree. “There are deputies from the other three Clans by the roots, but leaders are sitting in the branches!”

“There’s so many cats…” Lionpaw stared at a RiverClan tom, his pelt so sleek that it shone in the moonlight as he flexed his well-muscled shoulders. “Imagine meeting him in battle! I’m gonna train twice as hard from now on.”

“How can you be thinking about fighting?” Hollypaw scolded. “There’s a truce tonight. You should be trying to work out whether he thinks like a ThunderClan warrior.” Her eyes narrowed. “If you know how your enemy thinks, then you have already won half the battle.”

Lionpaw glanced sideways at his sister. Where did she come up with this stuff? Here he was, wondering if he could match any of these cats in a fight, and she was already working out battle strategies like she was a Clan leader.

Mousepaw’s eyes twinkled. “Why not go and ask him?”

Hollypaw gasped. “Can we really just go up and talk to any cat?”

“Well,” Mousepaw cautioned, “you’d be better off talking to the apprentices.” He dipped his head toward a group of smaller RiverClan cats. “The warriors from the other Clans aren’t dangerous or anything, but they won’t be pleased to have some young apprentice pestering them.”

“What if they talk to us?” Lionpaw asked.

“Just be polite and don’t give too much information away,” Hazelpaw warned. “Some of the warriors might use your inexperience to find out what’s happening in ThunderClan.”

“Did  _ you _ spill any secrets at your first Gathering, Mousepaw?” Hollypaw asked.

“Of course not!” Mousepaw sniffed.

“Yeah, right!” Berrypaw interjected sarcastically. “If I hadn’t clamped my tail over your mouth you would have told Russetfur that Firestar was about to give up the land by the river before Firestar had a chance to announce it himself.”

“You don’t  _ have _ a tail, Berrypaw.” Mousepaw mewed.

The cream-colored tom waved him off. “It’s an expression.”

“But she’s the ShadowClan deputy!” Mousepaw argued. “I couldn’t just ignore her.”

“You didn’t have to tell her your Clan’s whole history either,” Berrypaw mewed, his whiskers twitching.

“Well,” Hollypaw mewed suddenly, “I’m going to see what everyone else is talking about.”

She began to head toward the group of wide-eyed RiverClan apprentices when a small, pale tabby came hurtling toward her across the clearing.

“Hollypaw!” It was the RiverClan medicine cat apprentice, her bright green eyes flashing in the moonlight.

“Hi, Willowpaw!” Hollypaw stopped to greet her.

Willowpaw skidded to a halt and stared at her in delight. “Mothwing told me that you’re Leafpool’s apprentice now.”

Hollypaw dipped her head. “That’s right.”

“Great!” Willowpaw mewed. “Have you had your first dream from StarClan yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“I bet you do soon,” Willowpaw assured her. “Come on!” She swept her tail around Hollypaw. “I’ll introduce you to the other medicine cats.”

Willowpaw led Hollypaw toward where Leafpool was sharing tongues with a group of cats. Lionpaw felt a flash of envy. As a medicine cat apprentice, his sister would have a special connection with all the Clans. He shuffled his paws nervously as he gazed at the strange faces around him. Then he remembered that the truce lasted for only one night. These cats were his enemies. There was no point making friends. His duty was to get to know them so that he knew their strengths—and their weaknesses—when he met them in battle.

“I’m going to talk to Harepaw,” Berrypaw announced.

“I’m coming too,” Hazelpaw mewed.

Lionpaw, now alone with Mousepaw and Jaypaw, glanced around the clearing. He spotted a tightly clustered group of cats watching from the foot of the Great Oak. The shadows disguised the color of their pelts, and something about the way their eyes shone in the gloom made him shudder.

“Are they ShadowClan?” he whispered to Mousepaw. Mousepaw nodded. “Don’t let them scare you. They like to look like they’re enemies with all the world. But once you start talking to them, they’re okay.”

“Are you sure?” Lionpaw wasn’t entirely convinced.

But Mousepaw didn’t hear him. “Minnowpaw!” he mewed. He was staring at a young gray-and-white RiverClan she-cat whose pelt looked as downy as kit fur.

“She looks barely out of the nursery,” Lionpaw remarked.

Mousepaw’s ears twitched. “She’s a whole moon older than me,” he corrected. “Come and talk to her,” he went on. “You’ll see she’s not as soft as she looks.”

Lionpaw and Jaypaw followed Mousepaw over to where Minnowpaw sat with two more RiverClan apprentices, one gray and one brown tabby. His nose twitched as he scented them. He knew the stench of ShadowClan and WindClan from their border markers, but RiverClan’s fresh, fish-tinged scent smelled strange.

Minnowpaw nodded to them in welcome. Though she was slighter and softer in looks than her Clanmates, her amber eyes were sharp and intelligent. “I see you’ve bought two friends.” she mewed to Mousepaw.

Mousepaw was staring at her with a wistful look in his eyes. “This is Lionpaw and his brother Jaypaw.”

“Hello, Lionpaw and Jaypaw.” mewed Minnowpaw. “This is Pouncepaw”—she nodded toward the brown tabby she-cat beside her—“and Pebblepaw.” She flicked her tail toward the gray tom.

“What do you think of the island?” Pouncepaw asked.

“It’s great,” Lionpaw replied.

“...there’s a lot going on.” Jaypaw mumbled.

“We can show you around, if you like,” Minnowpaw offered.

Mousepaw’s eyes lit up. Clearly he liked the idea of a star-lit stroll with the pretty apprentice. But Lionpaw would rather explore the place for himself, especially if Mousepaw was going to be round-eyed and moony over Minnowpaw the whole time.

Luckily, it seemed as though his brother had read his mind. “We’ll be fine on our own, thanks.” he stated. 

“Actually,” Lionpaw corrected. “Mousepaw promised to introduce us to some of the other cats.”

Jaypaw shot him a hot look while Mousepaw gazed at him blankly. “Huh? Have I?”

“Come on!” Lionpaw prompted before Mousepaw could object. He padded away from the group and Mousepaw sighed, but followed him across the clearing. Jaypaw dragged his feet along with him.

Suddenly a soft voice sounded in his ear. “Are you new apprentices?”

He swung around to find a light brown tabby she-cat gazing at him with eyes the color of a late-afternoon sky.

“Y-yes,” he stammered. “How did you know?”

“Berrypaw told me. I’m Heatherpaw, by the way.”

_ Because your eyes are the color of heather… _

“So you’re...Lionpaw?” Heatherpaw turned her pretty eyes on Jaypaw. “And that makes you Jaypaw!”

“Knowing Berrypaw he probably chatted your ear off.” Jaypaw grumbled.

Lionpaw forced himself to stop gaping like a startled rabbit. “How much did he tell you?” 

Heatherpaw giggled. “Not much. Only that you two were with his brother. Speaking of, hello again Mousepaw.”

“Hm? Oh, hey.” Mousepaw half mumbled. His eyes were somewhere else.

Heatherpaw blinked her fluttering eyelashes at the brothers. “How long have you two been apprentices.”

“Since quarter moon. What about you?” Lionpaw asked.

“For a moon and a half now,” she replied, “This is my second Gathering.”

“Have you met Mousepaw before?” Lionpaw meowed, sensing that his Clanmate was growing restless and casting longing glances back to the RiverClan apprentices. 

“We haven’t spoken much,” Heatherpaw confessed. “But I saw him last time talking to Russetfur.” She looked at Mousepaw. ““Did Russetfur get any information out of you? She tried to from me, but fortunately Crowfeather had warned me not to give anything away.”

Before Mousepaw could answer, a black tom with amber eyes trotted up to them. “We ought to join our Clan,” he told Heatherpaw gruffly, ignoring the ThunderClan apprentices.

“The meeting’s about to begin.”

This is Breezepaw,” Heatherpaw told the three ThunderClan toms. “He’s our newest apprentice.” Her whiskers twitched. “Though you couldn’t tell it from his manner. He’s been trying to boss the other apprentices from the moment he went from a ’kit to a ’paw.”

Breezepaw stared furiously at her, and the tip of his tail flicked from side to side. He eyed the ThunderClan apprentices, amber slits stopping at Jaypaw.

“What’s wrong with that one?” he huffed. “He’s staring like he’s got bees in his brain.”

Jaypaw snapped to attention. “I do not!” he hissed.

Breezepaw narrowed his eyes. “Wait a minute, you’re blind!” 

“Great observation, genius.” Jaypaw stood, tail lashing. “What else are you going to tell us, that we’re cats?” 

“Don’t talk like you’re better than me!” Breezepelt bristled. “You couldn’t see past your whiskers, you’re so blind!” 

Heatherpaw glared at Breezepaw, fur puffed with embarrassment. “Stop it, Breezepaw! StarClan, why do you have to be so rude?” The she-cat quickly turned to the other three, but looked directly at Jaypaw. “I’m sorry Jaypaw. This mouse-brain needs to learn manners before he opens his mouth again. It’s hard to believe, but Breezepaw can be great fun on a good day.”\

Jaypaw snorted. “You don’t say.”

“Whatever.” Breezepaw growled. “Let’s just go already.” 

The black tom quickly spun around and stormed back towards his clan. Heatherpaw glanced at Mousepaw and Lionpaw apologetically before turning to follow.

“Rabbit-chaser,” Jaypaw spat after him. 

A flash of frustration gripped Lionpaw’s pelt. The figure of the pretty WindClan she-cat was blocked out as more cats gathered around, and he couldn’t see her gorgeous pools of violet anymore. Why did Jaypaw have to be so hot-headed?

A commanding meow sounded from the Great Oak. “We meet beneath Silverpelt—”

Lionpaw swung around and saw the four Clan leaders sitting like owls in the lowest branch of the tree. Onestar, the lithe brown tabby who led WindClan, was speaking.

“. . . commanded by the truce of the full moon.”

Mousepaw let out a groan, sadness flashing across his face. Ignoring him, Lionpaw joined the cats gathering around the base of the oak. He let his brother follow him on his own as he weaved among his Clanmates till he found a space between Hollypaw and Spiderleg. Jaypaw crept on her other side, fur still unkempt from his quick spat with Breezepaw.

Firestar sat beside Onestar on the branch. A sleek, spotted tabby she-cat sat next to him. Lionpaw guessed that was Leopardstar of RiverClan. Beyond her was a huge white tom with jet-black paws—ShadowClan’s leader, Blackstar.

“WindClan has one new apprentice this moon,” Onestar announced. “Breezepaw.” The black-pelted apprentice lifted his chin, apparently quite undaunted by having cats from all four Clans turning to stare at him. Lionpaw’s heart began to race. He hoped he could act so coolly when it was his turn to be named.

“Leaf-bare has been kind to us this last moon,” Onestar went on. “The rabbits are running, but not too fast to catch, and the windy weather has made hunting hard for the buzzards and hawks, which leaves more prey for us. Other than that, WindClan has nothing to report.”

Onestar turned to Blackstar, nodding for him to speak next.

“ShadowClan has one new apprentice too,” Blackstar began. He looked down at a wiry brown she-cat sitting among the ShadowClan warriors. “Ivypaw.”

Ivypaw nodded, her eyes narrowed. She didn’t look pleased or proud to be announced as a new apprentice, as Breezepaw had.

_ Do ShadowClan cats ever show their feelings? _ Lionpaw wondered. He felt Hollypaw fidgeting beside him. Her eyes were shining with excitement. “Our turn next!” she breathed.

But Blackstar had not finished. “Hunting has been good for ShadowClan since we enlarged our territory.”

Lionpaw stiffened as he heard a gasp from the ThunderClan warriors around him. Was Blackstar really going to make out that they had seized the land by the river from ThunderClan?

“Our new stretch of territory is a great source of prey,” Blackstar meowed.

_ Liar! _

Spiderleg muttered under his breath, “Firestar would never have given it up if it were!”

“ShadowClan would like to thank Firestar for his generosity in granting it to us,” Blackstar finished with poisonous gratitude.

Firestar stared levelly at him. “I am pleased to hear that you are getting so much out of a piece of land prey-poor by ThunderClan standards,” he meowed.

“Yes!” Hollypaw hissed. A subdued ripple of approval passed through the ThunderClan cats.

Then Firestar turned his green gaze on the crowd. “ThunderClan are fortunate to have more than  _ one _ ”—he lingered over the word—“new apprentice this moon.”

Lionpaw’s ears twitched. Pride and anxiety churned in his belly.

“Tonight we have Jaypaw,” Firestar continued, glancing down at the blind tom “Hollypaw, our newest medicine cat apprentice,” his gaze flicked to Lionpaw. “And Lionpaw.”

Lionpaw could hardly hear anything for the blood rushing in his ears. He puffed his chest out and held up his chin, feeling his pelt burn under the stares from the other cats. In a moment that was at once too short and too long, it was over, and Firestar was carrying on with his report.

“We have been lucky this leaf-bare,” he meowed. “There has been frost but little snow, and the prey has continued to run.”

Lionpaw’s pelt prickled. There was a new scent in the air, something he hadn’t smelled before. Some of the other cats clearly scented it too—he could see their heads turning, searching the edge of the clearing.

There was a rustle in the bracken close to where the WindClan cats were gathered and in the shadows Lionpaw saw movement.

Firestar fell silent and watched with the other cats as two lithe shapes emerged from the undergrowth.

“Intruders!” The alert spread through the Clans like wildfire. All around Lionpaw felt pelts bristling in alarm and battle-hungry muscles tensing, ready to spring.

The WindClan warriors who were nearest lunged at the strangers. Yowling and hissing, they wrestled the trespassers to the ground.

_ Are they going to kill them? _ Lionpaw turned back to the Great Oak, wondering what the leaders would do.

Firestar’s fur was standing on end. His tail was stiff with shock, and his ears were pricked as he sniffed the air and sniffed again.

“Stop!”

The WindClan cats froze and drew back, leaving the two strangers standing alone on the edge of the Clans. Lionpaw strained to see over the heads of the other cats. 

In a voice that was taut with shock and disbelief, Firestar called a name Lionpaw had only ever heard mentioned in nursery stories.

“Graystripe!”

  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 11

Hollypaw stared in amazement.  _ Graystripe? _

“But he’s dead!” she hissed to Lionpaw.

Her brother did not reply. He was too busy trying to balance on his hind legs to get a better view.

Hollypaw ducked down and weaved among the legs of the Clan cats until she reached the edge and peeped out between the pelts of Crowfeather and Breezepaw.

A gray tom with a stripe of darker fur along his spine stood in front of the bracken. His pelt clung to bone and wasted muscle, the fur matted and dull. His left ear was torn, and there were whiskers missing from his scratched and filthy muzzle. Beside him shivered a light gray tabby she-cat. Her short fur stuck out in clumps, and her tail hung limp and bedraggled.

_ But Graystripe’s dead! _

“You’re alive!” Firestar burst out from between Onestar and Tornear. He faced Graystripe round-eyed, his fur on end. Graystripe stared back, yellow eyes full of an emotion that Hollypaw couldn’t name. His companion flattened her ears and lifted her front paw defensively. She was trembling, her eyes bright with fear as she tried to look at all the cats at once.

“Easy now, Millie,” Graystripe cautioned.

Firestar stretched his muzzle forward, sniffing tentatively, as though he could hardly believe what he saw. “The Twolegs didn’t kill you...” He lifted his face to the moon. “Thank

StarClan, oh Graystripe!” he embraced the matted tom in a hug, wrapping his head around the tom’s shoulders. 

“Graystripe’s come back!”

“He must have escaped from the Twolegs!”

“How did he survive?”

“What about Brambleclaw?”

_ What about Brambleclaw? _ Hollypaw looked at her father. Firestar had held a vigil for Graystripe as he would for any dead Clanmate, and made Brambleclaw his deputy instead. But Graystripe was alive, and now he had come back...

The ThunderClan deputy was staring at Graystripe. “I can hardly believe that you found us.” His voice was filled with admiration, but his gaze glittered uneasily as he stepped forward and brushed muzzles with the gray warrior.

Firestar flicked his tail. “Where did they take you?”

Graystripe didn’t answer. He was staring at Firestar. “So you didn’t wait for me.”

Pain flashed in Firestar’s eyes. “I couldn’t.” Graystripe dipped his head. “You could not risk the Clan by keeping them in the forest.”

Firestar leaned forward. “If it had been only my life at stake”—he glanced around the Clans, then lowered his voice—“I would have waited.”

Hollypaw felt a rustling behind her. The other ThunderClan warriors were pushing their way forward to greet their old denmate.

“Graystripe!” Dustpelt dashed over. “You’re alive!”

Berrypaw, Hazelpaw, Ashfur, and Spiderleg crowded excitedly around, sniffing his fur, poking him with their muzzles.

Graystripe flinched away.

“Give him some space,” Leafpool warned. “He’s exhausted.”

“But he’s a legend!” Hazelpaw complained as Leafpool shooed her and the others away with her tail.

Squirrelflight was staring at Graystripe’s companion. “Who are  _ you _ ?”

“This is Millie,” Graystripe meowed. “I met her in Twolegplace.”

Squirrelflight gasped. “A _ kittypet _ made the journey with you?”

“I couldn’t have managed it alone,” Graystripe meowed.

Brambleclaw narrowed his eyes. “Did you follow our trail?”

“No,” Graystripe told him. “We found our own way.”

“We searched for Graystripe’s home first,” Millie explained. Her voice had a hard edge that surprised Hollypaw. She thought all kittypets would speak with the same soft mew as Daisy.

Graystripe’s ragged pelt bristled. “The whole forest was devastated when we got there. No cats, no prey, nothing but torn-up trees and monsters.”

“How did you know which way we had gone?” Leafpool asked.

“We saw Ravenpaw.”

Firestar’s eyes glowed. “How is he?”

“He’s well, but concerned for you all.” Graystripe stopped for breath before going on. “He said he’d seen you pass and that you were heading toward the setting sun. So we carried on over Highstones—” He broke off, his tail quivering.

Leafpool darted forward. “Are you okay?”

“Just tired.”

Leopardstar shouldered her way through the ThunderClan cats. A loud purr was rumbling in her throat. “It’s good to see you again, Graystripe.”

As she spoke the warriors from every Clan raised their voices.

“Welcome back, Graystripe!”

“How did he find us?”

“StarClan must have been watching over him!”

Cats from all four Clans surged around Graystripe until he was almost lost in a forest of pelts, brown, white, ginger, and tabby. Purrs blended, rumbling like thunder, louder than the sound of the wind in the branches.

Hollypaw watched in disbelief. She knew there was a truce at the Gathering, but this was not how it was supposed to be. There were meant to be four Clans, yet the warriors were acting like they belonged to the same one. She wriggled through the crush of pelts to where Lionpaw was watching with round eyes.

“It’s not natural,” she whispered aloud to her brothers. “Graystripe is ThunderClan. Why are the other Clans making such a fuss over him?”

“I don’t know,” Lionpaw admitted. “I thought that being a warrior meant protecting your Clan. Shouldn’t the other Clans be worried that ThunderClan has an extra warrior now?” 

Hazelpaw nosed in beside them. “They sound like they’re in one of Squirrelflight’s stories about how the Clans came together to make the Great Journey.”

“The Great Journey’s over,” Hollypaw pointed out.

But Hazelpaw wasn’t listening. She was gazing at Graystripe. “How did he know we were on the island?”

“Do you think StarClan guided him?” Jaypaw wondered.

“How did you know we were here?” called a sleek gray RiverClan she-cat.

Graystripe lifted his muzzle toward her. “Mistyfoot, it’s good to see you again. We met a rogue who told us there were cats living by this lake,” he explained. “When we reached the top of the ridge, the full moon was shining on the water and I could see shapes moving on the island.”

“After that, we just followed the freshest scents,” Millie explained. “They led us down to the shore and over the fallen tree.”

Hollypaw heard a stifled hiss of disgust. Blackstar was staring at Millie with open malice. The gray she-cat glanced at him, then lifted her chin and returned his stare, and, even though her tail was trembling, she held the ShadowClan leader’s gaze until he looked away. Hollypaw was impressed.

Graystripe saw what was happening and bristled, the muscles flexing on his broad shoulders.

“Let’s not forget the truce!” Leopardstar warned.

“The truce is for  _ warriors _ ,” Blackstar snarled.

“ShadowClan is one to talk.” Jaypaw whispered to Hollypaw, whiskers twitching. “They have more rogues than warriors!”

“The  _ Gathering _ is for warriors!” Onestar called.

A murmur rippled through the WindClan cats and spread through ShadowClan.

“Is ThunderClan going to allow another kittypet to join its ranks?” muttered a disbelieving voice.

“I have trained Millie as a warrior!” Graystripe hissed. “A kittypet would never have survived such a long journey.” His voice cracked into a cough, and Hollypaw saw that the gray warrior was trembling from his ears to the tip of his tail.

Firestar must have seen it too. He padded over to Graystripe and pressed against him. “Let us take you back to camp.”

Graystripe glanced at Millie. “Do you think you can travel a little farther tonight?”

“I’ll keep going as long as you need me to,” she assured him.

“Very well,” Firestar meowed. He looked at the other Clan leaders. “Was there any other news to be shared at the Gathering?”

“Not from RiverClan,” Leopardstar answered.

“WindClan is satisfied,” Onestar told him.

Blackstar shook his head. “Then let us return,” Firestar called to ThunderClan, “and show Graystripe and Millie their new home.”

“Does this mean ThunderClan has two deputies now?” Breezepaw called boldly.

Hollypaw pricked her ears and, as she did so, she noticed Ashfur lean forward, whiskers twitching.

Sandstorm stepped up to Firestar’s side. “Graystripe and Millie are tired,” she reminded him quietly. “We should get them home as soon as possible.”

“Yes.” Firestar flicked his tail toward Brambleclaw. “Lead the way,” he ordered.

Brambleclaw instantly headed away through the wood toward the fallen tree.

Sandstorm wove around Millie. “Stay close to me,” she advised. “We’ll have you in a warm, dry den before the moon is much farther across the sky.”

Millie nodded and padded, limping slightly, alongside the pale ginger she-cat. Hazelpaw hurried to join them, clearly excited to be helping guide the stranger back to camp.

Hollypaw fell in beside her brother and they trailed after the others. She was acutely aware of the other Clans watching them leave. One WindClan apprentice dipped her head to Lionpaw as they passed.

“Do you know her?” Hollypaw asked, surprised.

“That’s Heatherpaw,” Lionpaw replied. “I met her tonight.”

Hollypaw looked back over her shoulder at the WindClan apprentice. Heatherpaw was whispering in her companion’s ear, her eyes fixed firmly on Graystripe as he disappeared into the trees.

Then Hollypaw heard a voice above the murmuring of the lake.

“Surely Firestar will restore Graystripe to deputy!”

Hollypaw glared at the RiverClan warrior who had fur the color of stone.

Another voice whispered, “The vigil to Graystripe was false!”

Rage flared in Hollypaw, but not enough to sweep away the foreboding that pricked her pelt. Had Brambleclaw been made deputy by  _ mistake _ ? She pushed the thought away, closing her ears to the gossip from the other Clans.

The tree-bridge loomed ahead, and she scrambled up through the dead branches to pick her way along the slippery trunk. She saw Jaypaw in front of her, hoping carefully down to the ground on the other side. Lionpaw waited at the other end with him. His eyes sparkled with excitement, and as she landed he mewed, “I hope all the Gatherings are as exciting as that one! Imagine Graystripe finding us!”

Hollypaw hurried after him, irritated. “Aren’t you worried?”

“What about?”

“About Graystripe coming back, of course!” Hollypaw flicked her tail. “How can StarClan approve of Brambleclaw being deputy when Graystripe is still alive?”

“StarClan didn’t tell us he was still alive,” Lionpaw reminded her. “If it meant so much to them, they should have sent a sign or something.”

Jaypaw sniffed. “Shows how much they cared.”

_ They have their reasons!  _ Hollypaw told herself in spite of the strange pit in her stomach.

Mousepaw slowed and fell into step beside them. “I think Brambleclaw is a great deputy, and Firestar can’t ignore that,” he mewed.

“Exactly,” Lionpaw agreed.

“But what about the warrior code?” Hollypaw protested.

“Does the code say anything about warriors coming back from the dead?” Lionpaw demanded.

Hollypaw shook her head. No cat had mentioned the warrior code at the Gathering. And yet she could not shake the feeling that some rule had been broken by appointing a new deputy when the old one wasn’t dead.

“Graystripe was deputy first,” she argued, half to herself.

“Do you  _ want _ him to replace Brambleclaw?” Lionpaw asked, surprised.

“Of course not,” Hollypaw snapped.

“And the Clan is fine as it is,” Mousepaw pointed out. “So why bother changing anything?”

Hollypaw looked up ahead at Sandstorm and Millie. The two she-cats were padding along the lakeshore beside Firestar and Graystripe. Around her, the rest of the Clan murmured in hushed whispers, and Hollypaw guessed that they were as uncertain as she was about what would happen now that Graystripe had returned to ThunderClan.

  
  
  
  



	13. Chapter 12

A line as pale as spilled milk gleamed on the horizon as Hollypaw followed her Clanmates back into the hollow. The excited whispering, which had buzzed along with them like a swarm of bees during the long trek home, ceased as they padded through the thorn tunnel. Moonlight bathed the clearing, but the edges of the camp lay in shadow. Hollypaw’s pelt pricked with anticipation as she saw two small shapes hurrying from the apprentice’s den.

“How was the Gathering?” Cinderpaw called. Firestar halted, Graystripe beside him. “You should be asleep,” he meowed to the apprentice. “You will be too tired for your training in the morning.”

“Sorry, Firestar,” Cinderpaw apologized. “But we couldn’t sleep until we’d heard about the Gathering.”

Graystripe’s whiskers twitched with amusement. “We would have done the same when we were apprentices,” he reminded Firestar.

“Who are you?” Cinderpaw’s eyes grew round as she stared at the gray warrior.

“He was ThunderClan’s deputy before you were born,” Firestar told her.

“Graystripe?” Cinderpaw guessed, tipping her head to one side.

“Graystripe!” Poppypaw echoed excitedly.

Cinderpaw ran in an excited circle. “Can I tell Cloudtail? Oh, please?” Without waiting for an answer, she charged toward the warriors’ den, calling her mentor’s name. Cloudtail appeared at the den entrance, his sleep-ruffled pelt glowing in the moonlight. “What’s the matter, Cinderpaw?” he complained. “Graystripe is back!” Brackenfur pushed past Cloudtail and stood outside the den. 

“Graystripe?” He stared, blinking, across the clearing, then raced toward his old friend.

“Graystripe’s back!” Cloudtail yowled. As he bounded over to greet his Clanmate, Stormfur and Whitewing burst from the den, mewing excitedly.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” Brackenfur murmured, touching muzzles with Graystripe.

“Firestar was right!” Stormfur added, pushing past Brackenfur. “He told us you’d find your way back!”

Graystripe stared at Stormfur—his son—in astonishment. “Do you live with ThunderClan now?”

“What’s all this noise?” Mousefur’s grumpy mew sounded as the old she-cat squeezed stiffly out through the tangled entrance of the elders’ den.

Longtail appeared behind her, his blind eyes staring blankly ahead. He sniffed the air. Even in the dim light of the moon, Hollypaw saw the fur prick along his spine. “I smell Graystripe,” he meowed.

“Graystripe?” Mousefur scoffed. “You’re dreaming.”

“He’s not dreaming,” Firestar promised.

Graystripe pushed his way out through the knot of warriors in the center of the clearing. “It really is me,” he meowed.

“Great StarClan!” Mousefur raced over to Graystripe and ran her tail along his flank. “How in Silverpelt did you find us?”

Sandstorm stepped forward. “It’s a long story that can wait till morning,” she meowed softly. “Graystripe and Millie are exhausted.”

“Millie?” Mousefur glanced at the stranger standing beside Graystripe.

“Millie helped me make the journey here,” Graystripe explained. “She is my mate now.”

Mousefur narrowed her eyes, and Hollypaw’s belly tightened with anxiety. How would the crotchety elder react? Warriors were not supposed to find mates outside their Clan,

and certainly not kittypet mates.

But Mousefur only dipped her head to Millie. “Still breaking the rules, I see, Graystripe,” she mewed.

Hollypaw flicked the tip of her tail uneasily. The Clan seemed ready to accept Millie, but what did StarClan think about it? She glanced at her grandfather. Perhaps having a leader with

kittypet roots meant it was okay. The most important thing was that Millie had proved herself a warrior by helping Graystripe find his way back to the Clan. They had both survived, and that must mean StarClan approved of her.

A shadow by the warriors’ den caught her eye. Brook had woken up. The mountain cat padded over to Stormfur and murmured in his ear.

Foxkit emerged from the nursery, Ferncloud at his heels. “What’s going on?” he mewed

sleepily.

Ferncloud’s emerald eyes grew large. “Graystripe’s back!”

“Who’s with him?” Daisy peeked out of the bramble entrance.

“His new mate,” Cinderpaw explained. “From Twolegplace.”

Jaypaw wrinkled his nose and made a sound.

“What’s wrong?” Hollypaw eyes him.

“I can’t believe Leafpool hasn’t noticed,” he hissed. “Millie’s got an infected 

Wound. I can smell it from here .”

Hollypaw blinked in surprise and sniffed the air. There was a sour smell flowing from the strange she-cat’s pelt, just as Jaypaw had said. She hadn’t even realized it in all the excitement.

“Brambleclaw!” Firestar called to his deputy. “Find nests for Graystripe and Millie in the

warriors’ den.”

Brambleclaw padded away with a curt nod.

Hollypaw was aware of a growing murmuring among the cats.

“Graystripe’s not as big as I imagined,” Cinderpaw whispered. “He looks small next to Brambleclaw.”

“He smells of crow-food,” Jaypaw mewed.

“He must have been eating like a loner for moons,” Lionpaw pointed out. “Once he starts eating like a warrior again, he won’t seem so small.”

Whitewing looked uneasily at Squirrelflight. “What will happen now? Who is our deputy?”

Squirrelflight’s gaze flicked anxiously from Graystripe to the warriors’ den entrance, where Brambleclaw had disappeared. “I don’t know.”

Firestar gazed steadily at his Clanmates. “Nothing is going to change right now. We should just be grateful that Graystripe has returned to his Clan.”

“There’s no room in the den for two new nests,” Brambleclaw informed Firestar, returning. “One, maybe, but that’s all.”

“It doesn’t matter where we sleep, but I want to stay with Millie,” Graystripe mewed wearily.

“You shall,” Firestar promised. “We were going to expand the den anyway.”

“We’d rather sleep separate from the others at first,” Graystripe told him. “Just till we get used to being around so many cats again.”

“There’s an alcove behind the warriors’ den,” Brightheart suggested. “The ground is grassy there, so it’s soft.”

“And there are plenty of brambles left from when we cleared the entrance to the medicine den,” Leafpool put in. “If we arranged them in front, the alcove would be sheltered.”

Firestar looked at Graystripe. “You’d prefer this?”

The gray warrior nodded.

Hollypaw jumped to her paws. As a medicine cat apprentice she knew that she must take care of the new arrivals. Their bedding would need to be warm and comfortable, and they should have herbs to help them recover from their long journey.

“Brackenfur, Cloudtail, and Brambleclaw,” Firestar called, “start moving the brambles.”

“Yes, Firestar.” Brambleclaw hurried away to the browned and brittle brambles pushed into the shadows beside the medicine den. Brackenfur and Cloudtail followed.

“Can I help?” Cinderpaw begged.

Brackenfur stopped and turned, ready to answer, but Cinderpaw was already hurtling toward him. She careened into him, and fell backward, tumbling tail over whiskers.

“Sorry, dad!” she mewed, scrambling to her feet, her eyes filled with dismay.

Brackenfur purred at his daughter. “You’re always a tail length ahead of yourself, Cinderpaw,” he meowed. “You remind me of my sister when she was an apprentice.”

“Come on, Cinderpaw!” Cloudtail called. “Help me drag this bramble over to the alcove.”

“Sorry,” Cinderpaw mewed again, and raced over to help her mentor.

By the time dawn broke over the camp, spilling pinks and oranges over the cloud-dappled sky, the den was finished. With a sleepy nod of thanks, Graystripe and Millie padded inside.

On the other side of the clearing, Sandstorm and Spiderleg were leading Honeypaw and Mousepaw out of the camp on the dawn patrol. Brambleclaw and Cloudtail headed to their den to sleep. Hollypaw stayed with Leafpool outside the makeshift den and admired their work.

“That moss you collected will keep them warm,” she mewed. Leafpool had gathered a little from each of the dens, and Hollypaw had helped her shape it into a comfortable nest for Graystripe and Millie. Graystripe might be ThunderClan’s rightful deputy; Hollypaw wanted to make his nest as cozy as possible.

“Should I fetch them some herbs?” Hollypaw offered. “Jaypaw said that Millie’s got an infected wound.”

“How did he know?” Leafpool looked at her in surprise.

Hollypaw shrugged. “He smelled it.” She was groping for the name of some leaf or seed that might help, but after all the excitement of building the den, her mind felt too fuzzy.

“We’ll make sure we see to it come sunhigh,” Leafpool told her. “Right now, Graystripe and Millie need rest more than anything else.”

Hollypaw stifled a yawn.

Leafpool gazed down at her. “You must be tired too,” she observed.

“A little,” Hollypaw admitted. In fact, she was almost numb with exhaustion.

“Let’s get some sleep,” Leafpool suggested. She got to her paws and padded toward the medicine den. Gratefully, Hollypaw followed her. She was looking forward to curling up in her nest and closing her eyes.

  
  


When Hollypaw awoke, weak sunlight was flowing through the brambles, rippling like water on the sandy earth. Immediately she thought of Graystripe. Firestar had told them nothing would change  _ right now _ . Did this mean that he planned to replace Brambleclaw with his old friend eventually? Would StarClan expect him to?

She padded from the warm moss, scenting the chilly air. Her belly rumbled.

Leafpool lay in her nest, eyes closed. But as Hollypaw stirred, she lifted her nose. “Awake already?” She got to her paws and stretched, curling her tail till it shivered. “You had a busy night. I thought you’d sleep longer.”

“I’m hungry,” Hollypaw confessed.

“There’s fresh-kill on the pile,” Leafpool told her, scenting the air.

Hollypaw fetched a mouse for her mentor and a vole for herself. She ate ravenously, swallowing it in a few mouthfuls before licking her paws and washing her face. “Shall we check

on Graystripe now?” she asked eagerly.

“Is it sunhigh?”

“Not yet.”

“Then let them sleep a little longer,” Leafpool decided. She padded over to the piles of herbs at the back of the den and began sifting through them. “I need you to fetch some borage,” she meowed. “We’re running low, and Graystripe or Millie might have a fever. There’s some lakeward, over the ridge.”

Alarm pricked at Hollypaw’s claws. “You won’t wake them before I return?” There might be a lot to learn from the Clan’s newest patients. She hadn’t had a sick cat to treat since she became a medicine cat. She had tried to learn the names of herbs and what they were used for, but she was looking forward to actually using some. It might help her memorize them a little more easily.

“So long as you don’t dawdle,” Leafpool warned.

“I won’t,” Hollypaw promised.

Leafpool turned back to her herbs, spreading poppy seeds under her paw to count them.

Hollypaw turned to leave, then paused. “The Clan sat vigil for Graystripe, didn’t it?”

“Yes, we did.” Leafpool didn’t look up from sifting through a pile of feverfew leaves.

“Does that mean he’s officially dead? In the eyes of StarClan, I mean?”

“I think StarClan will have noticed that Graystripe’s with us and not them,” Leafpool meowed dryly.

“But what about the warrior code? Is he officially dead according to the warrior code?”

“Did he look like he was dead last night?” Leafpool meowed.

“But if he’s not dead, then surely he’s still dep—”

“We are here to heal.” Leafpool looked directly at her. “We should be concerned with the medicine cat code, not that of the warriors. Until StarClan wishes so, Firestar’s problems are his own. Now, are you going?”

“Going?” Hollypaw echoed.

“To fetch the borage.” Leafpool sighed. “If you’re not back before sunhigh I shall wake them without you.”

“I’m going!” Hollypaw promised, spinning around and pushing her way out of the den.

Up on the ridge, a cold, fresh breeze was blowing through the trees from across the lake. Hollypaw thought she could detect the scent of RiverClan on it.

Her paws itched to go exploring, but she wanted to get back before Graystripe and Millie woke up. She ducked her head and began to sniff the ground, hoping to find a scent trail that might lead her to borage. She desperately tried to remember what it smelled like in the medicine den, but her nose was too full of the scents of water and wind.

She padded down the steep slope, heading for where the trees thinned. The sun sparkled on the lake. What a great day for hunting! She pushed the thought away. She  _ was  _ hunting. Hunting for borage. Borage. What did it smell like again? 

Sniffing the ground once more, she picked up a tangy scent that seemed familiar. She followed it carefully, clambering over the low boulders that dimpled the ground, and tracked the scent into some long grass, where she spotted green, jagged leaves growing in a clump on long, thin stems. They carried the scent she had been following. It was stronger up close and more bitter. Was this borage? She had seen this before, she was sure.

She glanced up at the sun. It shone high above her. Leafpool would be waking Graystripe and Millie soon. Quickly she nipped a few stems, breaking them at the base, careful not to swallow any of the bitter sap. She pitied the cat who had to eat such a foul-tasting herb as she picked up the fallen stems in her jaws and hurried back to the camp.

“This isn’t borage.” Leafpool stared in dismay at the stems Hollypaw had placed in front of her. “This is yarrow. This makes cats sick.”

Hollypaw closed her eyes, ashamed and angry. Why couldn’t she remember anything Leafpool taught her?

“Don’t be hard on yourself,” her aunt encouraged. “There’s a lot to learn.”

Hollypaw couldn’t meet her eyes.  _ Don’t make excuses for me. I should be doing better than this by now! _

“Come on,” Leafpool meowed briskly. “We can do without borage. Fetch some marigold leaves and we’ll go wake Graystripe.”

Marigold leaves! Hollypaw knew what they looked like. She bounded to the back of the cave and picked up a mouth-ful, then followed Leafpool across the clearing to Graystripe and Millie’s makeshift den.

Firestar stood outside with Sandstorm and Honeypaw. Dustpelt, Thornclaw, Poppypaw, and Hazelpaw milled around eagerly. Graystripe and Millie, still ruffled from sleep, sat among them. Millie was staring from face to face, her ears twitching. Even Graystripe looked uncomfortable, like he had forgotten what it was like to have so many cats around him.

“Have you been awake long?” Leafpool asked, weaving through the others to reach Graystripe. She glanced sternly at the cats clustered around the gray warrior and his mate. “I hope no cat woke you.”

“No.” Graystripe drew his paws closer in and tucked his tail around him. “The sun woke us.”

“You can catch up with everyone later.” Leafpool twitched her tail, making it clear she wanted the other cats to leave.

“Let me know how they are when you’ve finished,” Firestar requested before he led his Clanmates away.

Graystripe’s shoulders loosened as they left. Millie looked relieved too.

“Any scratches?” Leafpool asked.

“Millie has a cut on one of her pads.”

“Let’s have a look.”

Gingerly Millie held up her forepaw. “There’s a thorn in there,” Leafpool meowed. “Jaypaw was right; it’s infected.”

She flicked her tail at Hollypaw. “My apprentice will pull it out while I prepare some leaves to heal the infection.”

Hollypaw gulped and inhaled a fragment of marigold leaf from the bunch she still held in her jaws. She coughed, spitting the leaves out onto the ground, and glanced anxiously at Millie, who gazed equally anxiously back. Hollypaw knew she couldn’t refuse. This was what she had wanted, a chance to practice instead of simply learning. She peered closely at Millie’s paw. Sure enough, a thorn was buried deep in the pad. To Hollypaw’s dismay she could see blood and pus oozing around it.

“That must be sore,” she breathed. Did she really have to pull it out with her teeth?

Leafpool narrowed her eyes. “Perhaps I’d better do it.”

Self-consciously, Hollypaw backed away and let Leafpool take her place. “Shall I chew the marigold leaves into a poultice?” she offered, her fur prickling with guilt.

“Yes.” Leafpool was concentrating on Millie’s paw with a detached intensity that Hollypaw wished she could copy. Why was it all so difficult?

Graystripe began to wash his face. “It’s so good to see the Clan again,” he meowed between licks. “I always hoped I would find you, but I guess I never knew for sure…”

“How did you know where we were?” Hollypaw asked.

“Ravenpaw told us to head toward the setting sun. We were lucky, and StarClan watched over us.”

“Were you angry at Firestar when you found he’d left without you?” Hollypaw meowed boldly.

Graystripe twitched the tip of his tail. “Yes, I was disappointed, but I can understand why he did it. The forest was in ruins. No cat could have survived there.”

“Ow!” Millie leaped backward and began to lick her paw.

Leafpool was holding the thorn between her teeth. She spat it out. “Press the marigold into the wound with your paw,” she told Hollypaw.

Millie held out her sore paw, which was bleeding and swollen where the thorn had been stuck. Hollypaw shuddered and rubbed her paw in the marigold pulp. She began to smear the juice gingerly onto Millie’s swollen pad. Millie stayed very still, even though it must have hurt.

“Cinderpelt would be proud of you both,” Graystripe meowed.

_ I wish that were true _ , Hollypaw thought, forcing herself to hold back the bile rising in her throat.  _ But if Cinderpelt is really watching me right now, she’ll know that I can’t do anything for Leafpool. _

“We’ll do some battle training this afternoon,” Leafpool announced after they had finished treating Graystripe and Millie. “Even medicine cats need to know how to defend their Clan in battle.”

Hollypaw’s heart soared. No pus, no bitter-tasting herbs, no cats wincing in pain—this was going to be fun! They climbed the slope outside the camp, heading away from the lake, and followed the track that led down to the mossy hollow that the apprentices used for battle training. As they padded through the trees, Hollypaw heard energetic mews up ahead. She sniffed the air. Cinderpaw and Cloudtail were already there.

She raced ahead of Leafpool, wanting to know what real warrior training was like. Through the trees she glimpsed the small gray tabby rushing toward Cloudtail. The white warrior

twisted faster than a leaf caught in a breeze, and Cinderpaw hurtled past, missing him entirely.

“No, no!” Cloudtail meowed. “Didn’t you hear what I told you? Aim for where you think I’m going to be, not where I am!”

“Sorry!” Cinderpaw panted. “Can I try it one more time?”

Hollypaw padded down the bank and into the clearing. “Hello,” she mewed.

“Are you collecting herbs?” Cloudtail asked.

“No. Leafpool’s going to teach me some fighting moves.”

“Great!” Cinderpaw mewed. “We can train together.”

Leafpool padded to Hollypaw’s side. “Maybe another time,” she meowed. “I think it’s better if I show Hollypaw some basic moves before she joins in with warrior apprentices.”

Hollypaw scowled and scuffed the earth with her paw.

Cinderpaw looked back at Cloudtail. “Can we try that move again?”

Cloudtail nodded. “Just remember—” But Cinderpaw was already hurtling toward him. He whipped around in a circle once more, and once more dodged neatly out of her path.

“Come on,” Leafpool meowed to Hollypaw. “We’ll use that space over there.” She pointed with her nose to the far side of the mossy green clearing. Hollypaw noticed how smooth and soft it looked. Perfect for fighting on. No roots to trip over, no leaves to skid on.

“We’ll start with a defensive move, I think.” Leafpool turned her back on Hollypaw and meowed over her shoulder, “I want you to watch me and then copy what I do.” She dipped her head, twisted around, and rolled onto her back before springing back up onto her paws. The whole move was over in a heartbeat. “Do you want to have a go?”

Hollypaw nodded. “I think I’ve got it.” She ducked her head, twisted around, and rolled over, leaping to her paws again in an instant.

Cloudtail called across the clearing, “Was that your first go?”

“Yes,” Hollypaw answered. “Did I do it right?” She glanced anxiously at Leafpool.

“You did it brilliantly,” Leafpool told her. “Let’s try something else.”

Leafpool demonstrated a few more moves, and Hollypaw copied each one with the same fierce intensity. Although Cloudtail made no more comments, she knew he was keeping one eye on her.

“We could try some combat now,” Leafpool suggested after a while. “Run at me and try to get past me.”

“How?” Hollypaw asked.

“Any way you can,” Leafpool told her. “We’ll discuss tactics afterward.”

Hollypaw crouched down and stared at Leafpool. Her gaze flitted to a sapling at the edge of the clearing behind the medicine cat. That was where she would aim. Leafpool was merely an obstacle to avoid. She darted forward, aware that Leafpool was rearing onto her hind legs, ready to bring her weight down on Hollypaw the moment she tried to slip past. Hollypaw saw that the medicine cat was leaning back a little and guessed that her weight was mostly balanced on one side. With lightning speed, she swerved the other way. Leafpool didn’t have a chance to rebalance herself, and she slammed down a mouse-length away from where Hollypaw flashed by.

Hollypaw felt a rush of triumph as she reached the sapling and spun to see Leafpool blinking with surprise. Then a prick of guilt jabbed her. Was she meant to be faster than her mentor?

“That was very good!” Leafpool panted.

“Yes, it was!” Cloudtail was padding over from the other side of the clearing, Cinderpaw on his heels.

“You were so fast!” Cinderpaw complimented her.

“Thanks!” Hollypaw trotted back to Leafpool’s side.

Cloudtail dipped his head toward Leafpool. “Tell me if I’m butting in,” he began, “but I think Cinderpaw and Hollypaw should try training together. Cinderpaw has more energy than a well-fed rabbit, and she has more experience than Hollypaw. But Hollypaw knows how to watch and listen, and she clearly has an instinct for judging her opponent.”

Hollypaw was almost too excited to speak. A real warrior was offering to help with her battle training!

“I don’t see why not,” Leafpool meowed.

Cloudtail flicked his tail. “Cinderpaw, why don’t you show Hollypaw that fighting move we’ve been practicing?”

Cinderpaw led Hollypaw into the center of the clearing. The sunshine flooding through the branches overhead dappled her smoky pelt. “You come at me, and I’m going to try to unbalance you.”

Hollypaw took a quick breath, then threw herself at Cinderpaw. Before she knew what was happening, Cinderpaw had knocked one of her forelegs from under her with a powerful front paw, then tipped her over with a rolling shove from her hind legs.

Hollypaw scrambled to her feet and shook herself. “Wow!” she mewed, impressed. “Can I try?” She wanted to try the move in a slightly different way. As soon as Cinderpaw rushed her, she ducked her head, knocking Cinderpaw’s forepaw from under her with her muzzle. She was so low to the ground that it was easy to roll onto her side from there and thrust her hind legs in a powerful kick that sent Cinderpaw flying.

Cinderpaw scrambled to her paws. “I love the way you used your muzzle instead of your paw! It made your rollover much smoother. Can I try it that way on you?”

“Sure!”

Cinderpaw lunged for Hollypaw, this time using her muzzle to unbalance her, just as Hollypaw had done. She finished the move with a hind kick so much quicker that it sent Hollypaw skidding backward across the clearing.

Hollypaw sat up, panting.

“That was great, you two,” Cloudtail praised them. 

Cinderpaw licked her paw and drew it over her ear to wipe off some moss that had caught on it. As she went to lick it again her paw twitched as though she were flicking dirt from between her claws. Hollypaw’s whiskers twitched with amusement; Cinderpaw’s little paw flick was something none of the other cats did.

“What did you think?” Hollypaw asked, turning to her aunt. But Leafpool did not answer. She was staring at Cinderpaw with a look of startled disbelief. Hollypaw wondered if the apprentice had suddenly changed into a badger, but Cinderpaw was still sitting quietly, washing her ears.

“Leafpool?” Hollypaw mewed again.

Leafpool dragged her gaze from Cinderpaw, her eyes still round with shock. “Y-yes?”

“Are you okay?”

Leafpool shook her head as though to clear it. “Yes, of course. It’s just that Cinderpelt used to flick her paw just like that.” She glanced uneasily back at Cinderpaw, who had finished washing and was circling Cloudtail.

“Will you teach me how to do a back kick?” the gray apprentice begged.

“It’ll be dusk soon,” Cloudtail observed. “I think we should head back to camp.”

Leafpool nodded. “I want to check Millie’s paw while there’s still light.”

The sky was darkening above the trees, and the air was growing chillier. Even so, Hollypaw was sorry to leave the mossy clearing. Her body felt bruised and tired, but her mind was buzzing as she tried to work out how to make the moves she had learned even better.

As she followed Cloudtail and Cinderpaw up the bank and into the trees, Leafpool fell into step beside her. “You fought well. I was really impressed.”

For a moment, Hollypaw was thrilled. Joy surged through her paws, making them light as dandelion floss. Then her heart plummeted.  _ She’s never praised me like this for being a medicine cat apprentice.  _ Why wasn’t she as good at remembering herbs as she was at remembering fighting moves?

_ It will happen!  _ Hollypaw told herself firmly. One day her mind would be as sharp in the medicine den as it was in the mossy clearing. Eventually she would feel the same rush of triumph after identifying the right herb, and she was bound to impress Leafpool again. It was just a matter of time. She had wanted to become a medicine cat, and she was not about to let herself or her Clan down.

  
  
  



	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **tw for some ableism in this chapter**

Jaypaw dawdled over his meal, taking minuscule bites from the mouse he had plucked

from the fresh-kill pile.

Brook padded past with Stormfur. “No appetite today?”

“Not much,” Jaypaw muttered.

He went back to nibbling at his meal as the two warriors took fresh-kill from the pile and

settled at the edge of the clearing. He was in no hurry to begin his apprentice duties. He didn’t need another ear-full of Longtail’s needless ramblings about his sighted youth. And besides--it’s not like any punishment could top the absolute  _ boredom  _ that he had been subjected to ever since the first time he and Brightheart had left camp. The shame from his fumble into the bramble bush while his mentor was being attacked was still fresh, and he finally shoved the half-chewed prey away with a stiff paw.

_ They’re right for keeping me safe in camp,  _ Jaykit told himself.  _ You’re still the same kit you were in the nursery. Nothing had changed from you and Lionpaw and Hollypaw’s fox hunting adventure. _

Roughly swallowing the mouth-full he had picked from the prey, Jaykit focused his mind on ThunderClan’s newest arrivals: Graystripe and Millie. The strange cats had certainly made the Gathering more busy than Jaypaw had expected, but granted, he hadn’t expected so much to be happening. The entire Gathering had Jaypaw occupied with the hundreds of strange scents and sounds. The thundering of pawsteps from the large group of cats was overwhelming, way more than what he was used to at home. He didn’t even want to think about that rude fuzzpelt, Breezepaw.

“Nice catch, Dustpelt!” Graystripe called from out below the Highledge, where he was sharing a rabbit with Millie.

“Thanks,” Dustpelt meowed back.

Jaypaw decided that he liked Graystripe. He was easygoing and good-humored, though still guarded when there were lots of cats around. Mullie was all right too, for a kittypet. Still, he wasn’t looking forward to clearing the soiled moss from their den while they went on their first patrol. He was sure Brightheart would try and distract him with that task, anway. It wasn’t fair; they would be out exploring the forest while he would be scrabbling through their stinky bedding.

He took another tiny bite from his mouse. He could sense Brightheart watching him from where she sat by the halfrock. She was sharing tongues with Dustpelt, but her gaze kept flicking back to him. He could feel her frustration like thorns in his pelt. What did she expect of him? Was he supposed to be happy about cleaning out dens instead of learning how to hunt and fight? Even though he was confined to camp, there was enough space in the clearing for her to teach him some battle moves. But she seemed interested only in making him run around looking after his Clanmates. Was that all she thought he was good for?

“Hurry up, Jaypaw,” Brightheart called. “Once you finish Graystripe’s den, I promised Ferncloud that you’d play with her kits while she went hunting. She hasn’t been out of the camp for two moons.”

Jaypaw lashed his tail. “And when am I going to get to hunt?” 

“Once you’ve learned to serve your Clan without complaining,” Brightheart told him mildly.

Jaypaw heard an amused purr rumble in Dustpelt’s throat. “You’ll have to take him out eventually, Brightheart,” he meowed. “Before he drives us all crazy.”

“He’ll need to learn a bit more from Longtail before I can take him out again.” Brightheart mewed meekly.

“I’m sure you could persuade Longtail to let him have at  _ least  _ a day out training.” Dustpelt argued. “Firestar chose you to mentor him, after all.”

Jaypaw’s heart skipped with hope.

“There’s more to being a warrior than hunting and fighting,” Brightheart replied.

The thorn barrier rattled. The dawn patrol had returned. Whitewing, Ashfur, Lionpaw, Spiderleg, and Mousepaw carried the scent of the forest temptingly into the clearing. And yet Jaypaw could sense anxiety among them; Ashfur was lashing his tail while Whitewing padded in agitated circles.

Brambleclaw swished out through the entrance of the warriors’ den, followed by Squirrelflight. “Anything to report?”

“ShadowClan are marking every tree along the border,” Ashfur replied, his mew sharp with anger.

Jaypaw felt an explosion of energy as Graystripe leaped to his paws. “Are ShadowClan up to their old tricks already?” the warrior spat. “If any of them set paw on ThunderClan territory while I’m on patrol, I’ll claw their ears off.”

“They haven’t crossed the new border yet,” Brambleclaw informed him. “So we’ve decided to ignore them.”

Graystripe snorted. “Ignore ShadowClan? You may as well try to ignore the wind and the rain—it won’t stop you from getting cold and wet!”

“That may be how it was in the forest,” Brambleclaw meowed. “But it’s not necessarily the best thing to do here.”

“Things are different since the Great Journey,” Squirrelflight added.

“Not so different that we should trust ShadowClan!” Ashfur growled. “Some cats will always try to take what another cat has.”

Jaypaw sensed his mother flinch, as though stung. What did Ashfur mean, exactly?

“ShadowClan will always push for more than is rightfully theirs!” Dustpelt agreed.

Jaypaw’s whiskers quivered. He knew there had been dark mutterings about Firestar’s decision to give up territory to ShadowClan, but now the warriors were openly agreeing with Graystripe. Shouldn’t they be loyal to their leader first?

“Firestar has decided to ignore ShadowClan for now.” Brambleclaw kept his voice steady, but Jaypaw could tell he was watching and listening for the slightest sign of rebellion among his Clanmates.

Pebbles clattered from Highledge as Firestar leaped down into the clearing. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Graystripe feels that we shouldn’t ignore ShadowClan,” Brambleclaw replied.

“I think Graystripe’s right,” Firestar meowed.

Jaypaw waited for his father to object, but Brambleclaw remained silent.

“Graystripe may not have been in our new home for long,” Firestar went on. “But he knows ShadowClan of old. I agree with him—ShadowClan will keep pressing on our borders unless we make a stand.”

“That’s not what you said before the Gathering,” Brambleclaw meowed quietly.

“But at the Gathering, ShadowClan were obviously looking for trouble,” Firestar reminded him. “I didn’t want to overreact before, but now I think we need to do something to show them we are ready to defend our borders.”

_ Why didn’t you tell me this before? _ Jaypaw felt the question burning in his father’s mind.

“Are we going to fight them?” Ashfur asked.

“Not unless we have to,” Firestar replied.

“But we must increase patrols along the border,” Dustpelt put in.

Firestar nodded. “And we’ll start matching ShadowClan’s markers, tree for tree. If they think they can intimidate us into giving up more territory, they are wrong.”

“Very well, Firestar,” Brambleclaw meowed. “Stormfur and Brook can mark the trees along the ShadowClan border while Squirrelflight leads the hunting patrol as planned.”

Dustpelt shifted uneasily. “Surely it would be better to let Squirrelflight’s patrol mark the ShadowClan border? Their scent markers are pure ThunderClan and will send a stronger message to ShadowClan.”

Jaypaw felt resentment flash from Stormfur; he half expected the gray warrior to lunge at Dustpelt and rake his flank with thorn-sharp claws. But Brook got to her paws before Stormfur could react.

“There is truth in Dustpelt’s words,” she conceded.

“But ShadowClan must know by now that you and Stormfur are ThunderClan,” Whitewing argued.

“In a battle over boundaries, it is better to make things as clear as possible,” Ashfur meowed.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the hollow until Firestar decided, “Squirrelflight will lead her patrol to mark the ShadowClan border. Stormfur and Brook can hunt.”

As the patrols assembled, Jaypaw gulped down the rest of his meal and got to his paws. He didn’t want to watch his Clanmates head out into the forest, while he wished he could go with them. He wasn’t going to get in trouble for refusing food like a kit, either. He might as well get Graystripe’s den cleaned. He scanned the camp for Brightheart and found her with Leafpool outside the medicine cat’s den.

“Where shall I get clean moss if I can’t leave the camp?” he demanded, interrupting them. He turned to Leafpool. “Have you got any to spare?” He knew she kept clean bedding in case of injured cats.

“There’s some inside my den,” Leafpool told him. “Help yourself. Hollypaw’s out looking for borage. She can fetch more moss when she gets back.”

Brightheart’s pelt bristled as he brushed past her, and he heard her whisper to Leafpool, “I don’t think I’m making him very happy so far. I don’t know how to get through to him.”

_ How about realizing that having one eye doesn’t make you so much better than me? _

The clean moss was easy to sniff out, piled at one side of the cave. Jaypaw picked up a large wad in his jaws. The fresh, grassy taste reminded him of the fresh taste of WindClan from the morning he and Brightheart had toured the territories. He may have ended up embarrassing himself in front of everyone, but at least for one moment he had been free.

Before he reached the trailing brambles at the entrance to Leafpool’s den, he heard Firestar’s hushed mew outside. Brightheart had gone, and Firestar was talking to Leafpool. Jaypaw dropped his moss and pricked his ears.

“I need you to share tongues with StarClan,” Firestar meowed softly to the medicine cat.

“You are worried about Graystripe,” Leafpool guessed.

“I have to know who ThunderClan’s rightful deputy is,” Firestar explained. “Vigil or no vigil, Graystripe was still alive when I appointed Brambleclaw.”

Leafpool paused. “Are you prepared for any answer they give?”

“Graystripe’s my friend. I owe him so much. But Brambleclaw is a brave and loyal warrior.” Firestar sighed.

“Whatever StarClan say, a decision must be made.”

“What if StarClan have no answer for you?”

“Then I will do what I think is best for the Clan.”

“I’ll visit the Moonpool,” Leafpool promised.

Jaypaw’s whiskers twitched with curiosity. He had heard about the Moonpool. It had always sounded so mysterious—a place where only medicine cats visited to share tongues with

StarClan. Would Hollypaw get to go with Leafpool tonight?

As Firestar headed away, Jaypaw recognized Hollypaw’s quick step hurrying toward the medicine den. She halted beside Leafpool. “Are these the right leaves?”

Jaypaw smelled the familiar tang of borage.

“Yes,” Leafpool purred. “Well done, Hollypaw.”

“I knew I’d get it right in the end,” Hollypaw mewed happily.

Jaypaw picked up his wad of moss and nosed his way out through the brambles.

“You took your time,” Leafpool commented. Did she suspect that he had overheard his conversation with Firestar? If she did, she gave no sign. “Hollypaw,” she mewed, turning to her apprentice, “you’ll have to sort these leaves yourself. Make sure you store only the undamaged ones. Damaged leaves will rot before they dry.”

“Won’t you be here to help?” Hollypaw asked.

“I have to go to the Moonpool,” Leafpool explained.

“But you don’t have to leave now. It’s not even sunhigh.”

“Moonhigh is early this season,” Leafpool explained. “I want to make sure I’m there in good time.”

“What if a cat needs treatment?’ Hollypaw mewed anxiously.

“You’ll be fine. Brightheart knows a lot of the herbs and berries,” Leafpool soothed. “Ask her if you need help.”

“Could you show me which herb is which one more time?” Hollypaw pleaded.

“Okay,” Leafpool agreed. “But then I must go.”

The two cats disappeared inside the medicine den, leaving Jaypaw by himself. His mind was buzzing. He wasn’t going to stay in the camp cleaning out bedding all morning. If Leafpool was going to the Moonpool, he was going to follow her.

He carried the moss across the clearing and deposited it outside Graystripe’s den. Then he headed back toward Leafpool’s den, as if he were going to fetch some more, except this time he hurried straight past the entrance and slipped into the clump of brambles beside it. This was a corner of the hollow too overgrown to be used for sleeping or storing fresh-kill, and Jaypaw knew that the rock wall behind had crumbled enough to make it possible to climb to the top. This was the fast route down from the forest that Brambleclaw had used when the patrol had discovered the trapped fox. It was steep, but Jaypaw hoped he could use it to out of the camp without any cat noticing.

His heart pounding, he plunged through the brambles until he reached the cliff. Sniffing and feeling with his paws, he reached up and dug his claws into a bush rooted a tail-length up the stone. He hauled himself free of the bramble bush, then sniffed for the next hold. Little by little, grasping tussocks of grass for pawholds, he fought his way up, praying that he didn’t give himself away by sending loose stones clattering down into the camp. At last a fresh breeze ruffled his ears. He had reached the top of the hollow. Digging his claws into the soft grass, he dragged himself over the edge of the cliff.

Following the slope of the forest, he headed down the steep bank that led to the camp

entrance. On familiar ground now, he stopped a fox-length from the bottom and wriggled backward into the bracken.

A moment later Leafpool came pattering over the forest floor. Jaypaw let her pass, then 

scampered after her, keeping to one side so that he was never directly behind her. The trees were a good shield, and he wove between them, following his instinct as much as his whiskers. The scent of WindClan soon began to taint the air. Leafpool was heading toward the hilly moorland. But she did not cross the border; instead she veered toward the sun and kept going until the land grew steeper and the trees began to thin.

Jaypaw heard a stream and followed Leafpool’s scent trail as it turned off the soft grass and onto the jagged boulders that lined the tumbling water. He dropped back a little, shivering in the sharpening breeze. There was less vegetation here to shield him. He would have to depend on the camouflage of his striped pelt against the stony ground. At least the sound of water disguised his stumbling steps. The rocks beneath his paws rose and fell unevenly, and he had to slow down. Fortunately Leafpool’s scent remained strong and steady.

The path still formed uncertainly beneath his paws, but Jaypaw held his nose high for his aunt’s scent. The she-cat wasn’t that far ahead of him, as the wind hadn’t weakened her scent, so he slowed his pace to avoid alerting her. He padded forward still.

Stones rattled in front of him, and Jaypaw stopped. He guessed that Leafpool was climbing the steep rocks that led up to the ridge. He waited until the noise had ceased and he was sure she had disappeared over the top. Then he followed, scrabbling from rock to rock grazing his pads on the sharp granite.

Out of breath, he stopped at the top. He shivered; the setting sun must be blocked by the surrounding rocks. He was at the brink of a hollow; Leafpool’s scent drifted up, min-

gled with new smells of damp stone, dusty lichen, and water, fresh and sharp with the smell of the mountains. It trickled and splashed, echoing off encircling stone.

As he padded cautiously forward, he realized there were other cats brushing against him, first one side, then the other, unbalancing him.

_ Stop pushing! _ He shoved back, stumbling when he found only air around him.

Voices whispered around the hollow.

“They have come.”

“We must hurry. The moon is rising.”

_ Who else is here? _

Jaypaw tasted the air, but he could scent only Leafpool. Steadying his trembling tail, he listened to figure out where she was. The enclosing rocks amplified her breath as it rippled the water beneath her muzzle. He knew from its soft rhythm that she was sleeping.

Carefully, he followed the slope down toward the pool. The smooth stone beneath his paws was polished and dimpled, worn into a pathway over endless moons by countless pawsteps. It led him on until water lapped at his paws with a cool tongue. Then he lay down a fox-length away from where Leafpool slept and closed his eyes.

As soon as his nose touched the Moonpool, stars filled his vision. It was as though great paws had swept him up into the inky sky and freed him among countless blue-white lights.

Far below he could see the starlit slopes of the hollow curving down to the glittering Moonpool. He stared, his breath coming quicker. The hollow was no longer empty but crowded with cats. They lined every ridge, their pelts bathed in moonlight.

_ StarClan!  _

He stared harder until he could see every pelt and muzzle clearly. The cats were watching Leafpool, crouching at the water’s edge. He could see himself too, curled up asleep.

_ I’m watching from outside my body. _

Jaypaw scanned the hollow, suddenly aware of cold stone beneath his paws. He was at the top of the ridge now, not the sky.

Leafpool stood and began to greet StarClan like old friends, padding around the slope and stopping to brush muzzles here and there. Jaypaw recognized none of them. They had lived before he was born. Only their Clan scents were familiar. He shrank back into the shadows, where he was sure no cat could see him, and watched.

“Bluestar.” Leafpool dipped her head to a she-cat, broad-faced and round-eyed, with long, pale fur. 

“You are welcome, Leafpool,” Bluestar murmured. “We thought you might come.”

Beside her sat a pale tom whose eyes shone with warmth. “It is good to see you again,” he meowed.

“You too, Lionheart,” Leafpool replied.

Bluestar’s eyes sparkled. “You come with good news.”

“Yes, Graystripe is back,” Leafpool purred.

Murmurs of joy rippled around the cats.

“But there is a problem,” Leafpool went on. “Firestar doesn’t know who should be ThunderClan’s deputy. Graystripe and Brambleclaw were both appointed according to the warrior code.”

A deep mew echoed from across the hollow. “Both cats have an equal claim.”

Leafpool jerked her head around. Behind her, a tom with a pelt as dark as the sky flicked his long, thin tail. Jaypaw tasted the air. He was WindClan.

“If Firestar is wise,” mewed the tom, “he will choose the warrior who knows the Clan best.”

“That will be a hard choice, Tallstar,” Bluestar warned the WindClan cat. “One that no leader has ever had to make before.”

Lionheart flicked his tail. “If only we had known that Graystripe was still alive. We could have let Leafpool know.”

Jaypaw was shocked.  _ How could StarClan  _ not  _ know if Graystripe had joined their ranks or not? _

“He was in a place too far beyond our seeing,” Bluestar reminded him. “And ThunderClan needed a deputy.”

“Is that why you sent me the vision of thorn-sharp brambles encircling the camp?” Leafpool asked.

“We had to let Firestar know that it was time to appoint one,” Bluestar meowed.

Lionheart nodded. “When we showed you that vision, Brambleclaw was the best warrior to help Firestar protect the Clan.”

Leafpool looked up sharply. “Is he still the best?”

Bluestar and Lionheart exchanged glances but did not answer.

“Do you wish you had not sent the sign?” Leafpool pressed.

“Brambleclaw has done well,” Bluestar reassured her. “He was the right choice. Firestar would have been foolish to go on without a deputy when no cat knew if Graystripe would return.”

“But who should be deputy now?”

“There is no true answer,” Bluestar warned.

Leafpool blinked. “Then the decision is Firestar’s to make?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “But Tallstar is right when he says

Firestar must choose the cat who knows the Clan best. He must use his head, not his heart, to reach his decision.”

“Should I tell him this?”

“Tell him only that he must make his own choice.”

Leafpool dipped her head. “I will share this with him,” she promised. She turned away from StarClan and padded back down to the Moonpool.

Jaypaw stared round-eyed at the cats. A well-muscled tom was murmuring something to the she-cat beside him. Jaypaw guessed from his glossy pelt he was RiverClan. A group of thin, lithe cats whispered together in the shadow of a boulder. WindClan? Jaypaw searched the slope, tasting the air, wondering which of the cats were ThunderClan. Then he froze, his paws turning to ice.

A she-cat was staring straight at him. Her fur was long and pale, and her face was broad and lined with old battle scars. Jaypaw could not guess her Clan from her shape. Her eyes sparked with a fierce spirit, and he drew farther back into the shadows. Something told him he should not be spying here.

Leafpool hesitated at the edge of the pool. “Cinderpelt?” she called hopefully, looking at the cats around the hollow, but there was no reply. She blinked, her eyes wistful, before lying down with her paws tucked neatly under her chest. Resting her muzzle beside the water once more, she closed her eyes.

“Jaypaw!” Leafpool’s shocked mew woke him from where he lay on the cold stone. He scrambled to his paws. The pebbles scraped his pads and he stumbled. He was blind again.

Leafpool’s anger flashed against his pelt. “What are you doing here?”

“I-I—”

“This is a place for medicine cats! I came here to share tongues with StarClan!”

“I know.” Jaypaw gulped. “I saw you.”

“You saw me with StarClan?”

“I was watching from the top of the ridge while you were talking to Bluestar and Lionheart.”

Leafpool looked stunned. “You were  _ watching _ ? How?”

“When I closed my eyes, that’s what I dreamed. That’s all.”

Leafpool narrowed her eyes. “What did they say?”

“Bluestar said that Firestar must make his own decision,” Jaypaw mewed. “But he should use his head, not his heart, which I suppose means he should choose—”

“You understood!” Leafpool cut in. Her mew came in a shocked whisper.

Jaypaw was puzzled. Why wouldn’t he understand? Was it because he wasn’t a medicine cat? Or because he was blind?

“How did you find your way here?” Leafpool asked.

Jaypaw sensed wariness prick the medicine cat’s pelt, as though she were afraid of his answer. “I followed you. . . .”

“You followed my scent, do you mean? All the way from the hollow?”

“Yes? It wasn’t that hard.”

Leafpool stared at him.

“I can’t help what I dream!” Jaypaw protested.

Leafpool turned away. “Something extraordinary has happened here.” Her words were little more than a murmur, half spoken to herself, but they echoed off the water. “I just wish I knew what it meant.”

“Why should it mean anything?” Jaypaw mewed. What was so odd about having a dream at the Moonpool? Wasn’t that what it was there for?

“Come,” Leafpool ordered. “We should return to camp.” Briskness masked the confusion flooding from her. She padded up the path to the top of the ridge, and Jaypaw followed. He let her guide him down the rocky slope beyond, though he had a clear enough sense of it now to manage by himself.

“Are you going to tell Firestar everything StarClan said?” he mewed.

“I’ll tell him he must make his own choice about who is deputy.”

“And that’s all?”

“What do you mean?”

“I think Tallstar and Bluestar hinted that Firestar should choose Brambleclaw. He’s the one who knows the Clan best now.” Jaypaw’s nose twitched. He could smell mouse.

“Are you saying that I should influence Firestar’s decision?”

“You’d only be interpreting what they really meant.” The mouse was close. “Isn’t that your duty?”

Jaypaw felt Leafpool’s startled gaze like sunlight on his pelt. “Is that what you would do?”

“I would do what was best for the Clan.” A pebble moved just in front of his paws. He darted forward and slapped his forepaws down, only to find that the mouse had escaped into its burrow. He lifted his muzzle, disappointed.  _ Brightheart should really take me out more. _

Leafpool had stopped. Fear seemed to enfold her like a cloud. Had he done something wrong?

“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she replied, and padded on.

Jaypaw hurried after her.

“You know, that was pretty amazing what you did back there,” she meowed. Her light tone didn’t hide the anxiety sparking from her—or was it excitement? Why was she so edgy?

Jaypaw shrugged. “Aren’t you supposed to see stuff like that at the Moonpool?”

“But this wasn’t any old dream. You actually entered my dream. You saw what I saw.”

“So?”

“I have entered another cat’s dream only once.”

“When?” Jaypaw asked.

“Feathertail led me into Willowpaw’s dream so that I could tell her where to find catmint,” Leafpool explained. “But Feathertail was already with StarClan. She invited me in. You entered my dream on your own, without the permission or knowledge of StarClan.”

With a shudder Jaypaw remembered the fierce stare of the broad-faced warrior. “Are you sure they didn’t know?”

“They would have told me,” Leafpool meowed.

“Why did you call Cinderpelt’s name?” Jaypaw asked. “Was there something you wanted to ask her?”

“I just wanted to know if she was there,” Leafpool mewed quietly.

“She didn’t answer.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“But she’s dead, right? Where else could she be?”

Jaypaw heard Leafpool’s pawsteps halt. She was expectant, anxious; he could feel it like rain in the air. “What did you feel when you saw StarClan?” she asked. “Were you scared?”

“Scared of a bunch of dead cats?”

“They are your warrior ancestors,” she reminded him. “They have seen and heard more than you could ever imagine.”

“Of course they’ve seen more—I’m blind, remember?”

“You’re not blind in your dreams, Jaypaw. Tell me, apart from the journey to the Moonpool, have you ever dreamed of anything else that has come true?”

Jaypaw shrugged. “Not really. Dreams are just dreams,

aren’t they?”

“Not to every cat.”

“Sometimes I dream about when I was very small, traveling through snow,” he confessed. “Is that right? That wasn’t the Great Journey, was it?”

Tension crackled through Leafpool’s fur. “No, the Great Journey was long before you were born. But your...your mother did make a long journey with you through the snow when you were very small. You were born outside the hollow, and she had to wait until you were all strong enough to travel.”

Jaypaw could feel Leafpool staring at him, turning something over in her mind, like a fish too huge to be hooked out of the water. “What is it?” he asked.

“I think that you were destined to be a medicine cat,” she meowed.

“Don’t be silly,” Jaypaw retorted. “I’m going to be a warrior.”

“But you entered my dream,” Leafpool pointed out.

Jaypaw’s tail shot up indignantly. “You think I want to be stuck in camp worrying over kits and elders?”

Leafpool bristled. “There’s more to being a medicine cat than that!”

“If there is,” Jaypaw snapped, “let it be some other cat’s destiny! I want to be out in the forest, hunting and fighting for my Clan. You’re just like Brightheart! Always treating me differently just because I’m blind!”

“I’m treating you differently because you can see StarClan in my dreams! I don’t know of any medicine cat with visions as powerful as that.”

But Jaypaw didn’t want to listen anymore. He padded angrily ahead. “I don’t care about having stupid dreams,” he called over his shoulder. “I’m going to be a warrior. Besides, you’ve already got Hollypaw, remember? You can’t have  _ two _ medicine cat apprentices!”

  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ableism tw**

“Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather below Highledge!”

Lionpaw jerked up his head. Firestar’s call had woken him from his warm nest. It was dawn, and he could feel Berrypaw stirring beside him.

Jaypaw was already stretching, curling his tail back till the tip brushed his spine. “What does Firestar want so early?” he yawned.

“Clan meeting!” Lionpaw leaped to his paws. He hurried to be first out of the den, squeezing ahead of his denmates.

“Stop pushing,” Berrypaw complained. “The fastest hunter catches the most mice,” Lionpaw mewed cheerfully.

The air outside the den hit him like the lash of a birch sapling. Frost glittered on the bushes around the edge of the camp, and the icy ground made Lionpaw’s pads ache. Breath

billowing, he trotted into the clearing, where the cats were already gathering, huddling close for warmth.

Firestar sat on Highledge flanked by Brambleclaw and Graystripe. Brambleclaw’s pelt shone, the muscles beneath it taut. Graystripe’s pelt was well-groomed, the knots and tangles smoothed at last, but it was dull and his ribs still showed beneath.

“He must have decided who the deputy should be,” Hollypaw mewed, hurrying over from the medicine den and sitting down next to Lionpaw. She wriggled closer to him, shivering.

Jaypaw padded to join them, sitting beside Hollypaw.

“Graystripe and Brambleclaw are on Highledge with Firestar,” Hollypaw told him.

“I know,” Jaypaw answered sleepily. Lionpaw wondered why he looked so worn-out when he had not been outside the hollow in days.

Firestar’s pelt glowed like fire in the cold dawn light as he gazed over the Clan. Millie settled beside Ferncloud, her eyes round with curiosity. Sorreltail, Whitewing, and Cloudtail sat in front of her, Brackenfur and Thornclaw behind. The gray kittypet no longer seemed intimidated by the warriors hemming her in and stared calmly up at Firestar.

“I know you’ve all been wondering what will happen now that our previous deputy has returned,” the Clan leader began.

Graystripe wrapped his bushy tail tighter over his front paws. One of Brambleclaw’s ears twitched.

“When we left the forest, I thought I would never see Graystripe again,” Firestar confessed. “There were many nights when I stared up at Silverpelt and tried to imagine him among our ancestors.”

Lionpaw glanced at Hollypaw and wondered what it would be like to lose her. He didn’t like the feeling that stabbed at his belly.

The ThunderClan leader went on. “Graystripe was my deputy and my friend. I trained with him and fought with him. I trusted him more than any cat. Having him back is like having one of my own lives restored.”

“He’s going to make Graystripe deputy again!” Hollypaw hissed under her breath.

“Wait,” Jaypaw warned.

Lionpaw shot his brother a look. Why did he sound so certain?

“But Brambleclaw has helped me lead the Clan through some of its most terrifying challenges. I’ve never seen him waver in his loyalty to his Clanmates. The last thing ThunderClan needs now is more change.” He paused and glanced at the two warriors. “So I’ve decided that Brambleclaw should remain deputy.”

“But—” The gasp escaped Brackenfur before he could stop it. Sorreltail echoed it, and mews of surprise rippled around the Clan. Lionpaw searched Graystripe’s face for some sign of regret, but he couldn’t read the gray warrior’s expression.

Squirrelflight raised her voice happily. “Brambleclaw!”

“Brambleclaw! Brambleclaw!” Ashfur quickly joined in.

Squirrelflight whipped her head around and stared at him.

_ Why does she look surprised? _ Lionpaw wondered.

Dustpelt and Thornclaw started calling Brambleclaw’s name too. Graystripe got to his paws and joined in, and Brambleclaw dipped his head respectfully to the former ThunderClan deputy.

“Told you so,” Jaypaw murmured.

Lionpaw glanced suspiciously at his brother. “How did you know?”

Jaypaw shrugged. “It was the wisest choice.”

“Do you think Graystripe minds?” Hollypaw whispered.

“Does it matter?” Jaypaw asked.

“He must know the Clan has changed a lot,” Lionpaw replied.

“But what about when he’s fully recovered?” Hollypaw persisted. “Will he be happy just being a warrior?”

“I think Firestar made the right decision.”

The meow made Lionpaw jump. He glanced up and saw Ashfur padding toward them.

“And you must be pleased that your father’s still deputy,” the warrior purred.

“Brambleclaw should be deputy,” Lionpaw told him firmly. “Graystripe doesn’t even know the territory yet. He’d be as lost as a WindClan kit in a ShadowClan nursery.”

“True.” Ashfur nodded.

“And Graystripe is going to take another moon to recover,” Jaypaw put in. “He still smells of crow-food.”

“He’ll be strong soon,” Hollypaw mewed defensively.

“Soon isn’t good enough,” Lionpaw argued. “We need a strong deputy now. Leaf-bare’s clearly not finished with us, and ShadowClan is never going to make our life easy. We can’t afford to wait for Graystripe to recover.”

“But he was deputy first!” Hollypaw protested. “Has everyone forgotten? When Mistyfoot was taken by Twolegs, Hawkfrost replaced her only until she returned. Because according to the warrior code she  _ never stopped _ being the deputy!”

“Your sister has a point,” Ashfur commented.

“I know, but”—Lionpaw was surprised at Hollypaw’s fierceness—“Firestar has to be practical.”

“If we start ignoring the warrior code, then we are no longer warriors!” Hollypaw declared. The fur along her spine was bristling, and her eyes glittered with anxiety.

“What if StarClan told Firestar to choose Brambleclaw?” Jaypaw asked softly.

Brambleclaw was padding toward them, with Berrypaw beside him. “We’re going hunting.”

“Can we join you?” Ashfur asked.

“Of course. Brightheart and Jaypaw are coming too. But if you don’t mind a crowd—”

“Of course not.” Ashfur narrowed his eyes. “I just thought it might be fun for Lionpaw and Berrypaw to have a little competition.”

Brambleclaw’s eyes glittered. “Good idea.”

Berrypaw clawed the ground excitedly. “Oh, yes!”

“Great!” Lionpaw mewed.

“Okay,” Brambleclaw decided. “The first apprentice to catch three pieces of prey gets first pick from the fresh-kill pile tonight.”

Lionpaw glanced at Berrypaw. His denmate was larger than he and more experienced. He would have to rely more on senses than speed if he was going to win.

Brightheart and Jaypaw joined them.

“Why do we need to go with them?” Jaypaw was complaining. “I’m perfectly capable of hunting on my own.”

Pity flashed in Brightheart’s eye, and Lionpaw winced. Jaypaw glared at his mentor as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“We’ll go in a moment,” Brambleclaw meowed. “First, I want to ask Dustpelt and Birchfall 

to patrol the ShadowClan border. I’ll meet you at the entrance.” Before he padded away, the ThunderClan deputy glanced at Hollypaw. “Shouldn’t you be helping Leafpool?”

“Um, yes,” Hollypaw mewed hastily. She turned and slunk away, the tip of her black tail dragging over the ice-white clearing.

“So you think you can beat me, do you?” Berrypaw hissed in Lionpaw’s ear.

“I caught a vole on my first hunting expedition,” Lionpaw reminded him.

“Good,” Berrypaw mewed. “I’d hate to win too easily.”

“You’ll be lucky to win at all!” Lionpaw growled.

“How’s a tiny scrap like you going to catch three bits of prey in one morning?”

Lionpaw wasn’t going to let his denmate get away with that. He crouched into attack position, wriggling his hindquarters. “Say that again!” he challenged.

“You’re hardly bigger than a mouse!” Berrypaw purred. 

Lionpaw launched himself at the young tom, and the two apprentices bundled toward the thorn barrier. Berrypaw’s weight took Lionpaw by surprise. He scrabbled to push the larger apprentice off, but Berrypaw heaved him toward the prickly spines of the thornbush. Thinking quickly, Lionpaw let himself go limp, becoming so slippery that it was easy to wriggle out of Berrypaw’s grip. Quick as a flash, he sprang onto Berrypaw’s back and nipped his friend’s scruff with his teeth. Berrypaw tried to shake him off, but even with his claws sheathed, Lionpaw found that he had the strength to hold his grip on Berrypaw’s broad shoulders.

“Lionpaw!”

He looked up to see his sister charging back toward them, and, in that instant, Berrypaw threw him off and pinned him to the ground.

“You’re my first catch of the day,” Berrypaw mewed triumphantly.

“Hollypaw put me off!” Lionpaw complained.

“A good warrior is never distracted,” Ashfur meowed. The pale gray warrior had stopped to watch the two apprentices.

Lionpaw scrambled to his paws, prickling with embarrassment.

Hollypaw was trotting around them in circles. “Leafpool wants me to collect some tansy in case this cold weather brings whitecough,” she panted excitedly. “She says there’s a clump by the old Thunderpath, and she asked if I could join your patrol to fetch some.” She looked around. “Where’s Brambleclaw?”

“Giving orders to Dustpelt,” Ashfur answered.

As he spoke, Brambleclaw bounded over from halfrock. Graystripe was with him.

“Mind if I join you?” the gray warrior asked Ashfur. “I want to get familiar with the territory and see how the prey runs here.”

“That’s fine with me,” Ashfur agreed. He nodded at Hollypaw. “We’ve got an extra apprentice, too.”

Besides the trip to and from the Gathering, Lionpaw hadn’t been out with both Hollypaw and Jaypaw since their attempt to track down the fox cubs. They quickly fell into their familiar grouping: Hollypaw a pawstep ahead, and Lionpaw letting his pelt brush against Jaypaw’s just enough to help him through the trees.

They headed deep into the forest, picking up the clearest route along the old Thunderpath. Lionpaw had been along it before, when Ashfur had shown him around ThunderClan territory. But he had never followed it all the way past the abandoned Twoleg nest.

Hollypaw was scanning the undergrowth on either side of the track.

“It looks a lot like yarrow,” Jaypaw whispered to her. “But

it tastes more like grass than mouse bile.”

“I know!” Hollypaw snapped.

Why was Jaypaw helping her? Lionpaw wondered. Hollypaw was the medicine cat apprentice, not him.

She flicked her tail toward a clump of long-stemmed plants with thin, spiky leaves. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Have you found some?” Brambleclaw halted in the middle of the path.

The cats waited as Hollypaw bit into a leaf. She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, then swallowed.

“Not bitter at all,” she reported. “It’s tansy.”

“You’d better collect some and take it back to camp,” Brambleclaw meowed.

Hollypaw’s eyes clouded with disappointment. “Leafpool doesn’t need it right away.”

“It might not be safe for her to go back to camp on her own,” Lionpaw pointed out, guessing his sister wanted a chance to stay out for a while. “Not with the fox cubs about.”

“And don’t forget the competition,” Ashfur meowed. “We don’t want to waste time escorting her back.”

“If you’re sure Leafpool doesn’t need it urgently...?” Brambleclaw prompted Hollypaw.

Her eyes brightened. “It was only for the store.”

“We’ll collect some on our way back, then,” Brambleclaw agreed. He leaped away, heading into the shadowy woods.

Lionpaw waited on the Thunderpath for Jaypaw and Brightheart to disappear among the trees with the others before following them in. Even in leaf-bare, the undergrowth here was thick. But without their leafy covering the plants looked like tall, thin skeletons littering the forest floor.

Lionpaw’s breath came in clouds as the patrol padded quietly over the frozen ground. Graystripe turned back to face them. “There’s no scent of fox here,” he meowed. “And not too much cover for prey. This looks like a good spot to start the hunt.”

Ashfur looked from Berrypaw to Lionpaw. “Who wants to go first?”

“There’s a mouse over there,” Jaypaw announced casually.

For the first time Lionpaw wondered if his brother felt left out of the hunting contest. But Jaypaw held his chin high and flicked his tail toward the base of an oak tree several fox-lengths away. Ashfur jerked his head around in surprise.

“It’s dug under the frozen leaves into the ground,” Jaypaw told them.

Lionpaw pricked his ears. Sure enough, he could hear the scrabble of tiny paws against cold earth, though very faintly. And there was the musty scent of freshly turned leaf litter in the air.

“Lionpaw,” Brambleclaw hissed quietly. “You have a try.”

One stealthy pawstep at a time, Lionpaw crept toward the scuffling noise. He let each pad sink slowly onto the hard ground, so that his steps made no sound. The scuffling carried on as Lionpaw drew close enough to drop into a hunting crouch. Squatting with his muzzle outstretched, he let his tail rest on the earth behind him. He could smell the mouse now, and saw a slight movement in the leaves.

“Brambleclaw!”

The mouse scuttled out of the leaves and disappeared among the roots of a tree. Hissing with anger, Lionpaw spun around to see who had ruined his catch.

Birchfall exploded from the undergrowth and skidded to a halt. “ShadowClan have moved the border! They’ve put a new line of scent marks inside ThunderClan territory!”

“Where?” Brambleclaw demanded.

“I’ll show you.” Without waiting, Birchfall headed away through the trees.

“Where’s Dustpelt?” Brambleclaw called after him.

“Heading back to camp to warn Firestar,” came the reply.

Brambleclaw turned to Brightheart. “You’d better come with us. I’m not risking leaving you while those fox cubs are still around.”

Brightheart narrowed her eyes. “What about Jaypaw? Will he be able to keep up?”

“Don’t let him out of your sight, and keep as close to us as you can,” Brambleclaw ordered. He glanced at Ashfur. “Stay near them.” Then he nodded to Graystripe. “Come with me.”

Brambleclaw bounded after Birchfall, Graystripe following. Lionpaw pelted after them, the mouse forgotten.

Hollypaw raced at his side. He could hear the pawsteps of Ashfur, Brightheart, and Jaypaw pounding behind. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw his brother weaving through the trees as easily as a sighted cat.  _ He must be guided by StarClan! _ He thought in astonishment. He turned back to look ahead, his pelt bristling as he ran. Had ShadowClan really dared to move the border?

Birchfall led them back along the Thunderpath before veering into the forest and up the slope that led to the ShadowClan border. He skidded to a halt near the top. “Here!” he gasped, flicking his tail to indicate the line of birches that followed the ridge.

Lionpaw sniffed the nearest trunk and wrinkled his nose. It was true. ShadowClan had marked ThunderClan trees.

“Isn’t this the original border?” Graystripe asked.

“No!” Brambleclaw hissed. “The border is there.” He pointed his muzzle to the top of the rise where the trees gave way to the grassy clearing.

“Did they think we wouldn’t notice?” Hollypaw spat.

Ashfur raced out of the bracken behind them, followed by Brightheart and Jaypaw.

Jaypaw’s hackles rose. “ShadowClan warriors nearby!” he warned.

As he spoke, three ShadowClan cats stalked over the rise and stood staring down at the ThunderClan patrol.

“Oakfur!” Brambleclaw hissed, staring at the small brown tom who led the trio. Lionpaw recognized the two others from the Gathering—Owlpaw and his mentor, Smokefoot.

“A blind kit noticed us before the ThunderClan deputy knew we were here,” Oakfur sneered. “How humiliating.”

“Is ThunderClan so desperate for warriors that it needs to train even its most worthless kit?” snarled Smokefoot.

Jaypaw rushed forward, spitting. Brightheart grabbed his tail in her teeth and hauled him backward.

“A blind kit saved by a one-eyed warrior,” mocked Oakfur. “ThunderClan isn’t what it used to be. Filled with kitty- pets and cripples and worn-out deputies.” He glared at Graystripe.

“You’ve moved the border,” Brambleclaw growled.

“We’ve taken what should be ours, and we will take more,” Smokefoot told him.

“ThunderClan is hardly a real Clan anymore—it’s half kittypet,” Oakfur put in. “I’m sure StarClan agrees that only true warriors are entitled to hunt on Clan territory.”

“ThunderClan has nothing but true warriors!” Brambleclaw yowled. He flattened his ears and stepped over the new marker line until he was only a tail-length away from Oakfur. “If you want our territory, you’ll have to fight for every step.”

Lionpaw’s fur stood on end. His first real battle! He sank his claws into the earth, imagining it was ShadowClan fur.

“Are you sure we won’t win?” Oakfur’s eyes glittered as more ShadowClan warriors began to appear over the rise, lining up like starlings on a branch. Lionpaw’s heart flipped over. It looked as though every ShadowClan warrior had come to fight. Their muscles bulged under their pelts, their claws glinting as they flexed them against the hard ground.

Lionpaw felt fur brush his flank. Hollypaw and Jaypaw had joined him.

“We fight as one,” Hollypaw vowed.

Lionpaw suddenly pictured the three of them—three half- grown apprentices, one of them blind, facing what looked like the whole of ShadowClan.

_ StarClan, help us! _

  
  



	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ableism tw**

“Get back to camp and tell Firestar to bring help.” Graystripe’s hiss sounded in Lionpaw’s ear. “Now!”

Lionpaw turned and pelted away into the trees. He hated leaving Jaypaw and Hollypaw, but without help the battle was already lost.

“Stop him!” He heard Russetfur’s yowl, and the rustle of paws upon leaves.

Lionpaw glanced over his shoulder. Two ShadowClan warriors streaked toward him. Then he saw a flash of gray fur. Graystripe had launched himself onto one of the cats. The ShadowClan warrior yowled and the air exploded as the two Clans charged screeching into battle.

Lionpaw forced himself to run faster till he thought his heart would burst. Paws pounded behind him. Only one set now, thanks to Graystripe. Lionpaw dodged through a thick bramble swath, hoping that his small size would let him escape the ShadowClan warrior. But as he slipped out of the other side and glanced backward, he saw a burly tom thrusting his way through the bush with terrifying strength.

Lionpaw hurtled down the steep slope to the training hollow and pelted across it. Just a short way through the trees and then a clear run to the camp entrance. The ShadowClan warrior’s pawsteps thundered ever closer as Lionpaw caught sight of the thorn barrier ahead.

“Help!” he wailed.

Claws raked his tail. The ShadowClan cat was at his heels. Wild with terror, Lionpaw dug his claws in and propelled himself forward.

A fiery flash of fur streaked from the thorn tunnel and flew past Lionpaw.

“I’ll stop him,” Squirrelflight yowled, lunging for the ShadowClan warrior.

The tom let out an agonized shriek. Lionpaw slowed, his breath coming in great gulps. He turned and saw Squirrelflight chasing the ShadowClan warrior up the bank, snarling as if all the warriors of StarClan raced beside her. 

Lionpaw hurtled into the camp. “ShadowClan have invaded!”

Firestar was in the clearing with Dustpelt. He bounded to Lionpaw’s side as soon as he saw him. “Dustpelt told me they’ve moved the border,” he meowed.

“Brambleclaw took our hunting patrol to investigate,” Lionpaw puffed. “But we walked into an ambush.”

Firestar’s eyes widened with alarm. “Are they fighting now?”

Lionpaw nodded, his paws trembling as he thought of Jaypaw and Hollypaw battling experienced ShadowClan warriors.

“Sandstorm, Spiderleg, Whitewing, Stormfur, Brook!” Firestar called to the warriors who were already pacing around the edge of the clearing, lashing their tails. “ShadowClan have crossed the border. Brambleclaw is holding them off, but they need help.”

“Should I bring Mousepaw?” Spiderleg asked.

“If he’s battle-ready,” Firestar answered.

Squirrelflight raced back through the entrance. “There’s one less ShadowClan warrior to deal with,” she announced. “He’ll not want to fight again today.”

“Good work. I want you to stay and guard the camp,” Firestar told her.

Squirrelflight nodded. “Yes, father.”

Millie appeared from behind the warriors’ den. “I’m coming with you.”

Lionpaw stared at her in astonishment. She was a kittypet!

“Okay,” Firestar agreed. “But don’t take any risks.”

Lionpaw was still trembling with terror and exhaustion. Firestar looked at him. “Are you fit to fight?”

Lionpaw nodded.

“Good,” Firestar growled. “Your brother and sister need you.” Then he swept out of the camp, his warriors following. Lionpaw pelted after the patrol. _How dare ShadowClan invade our territory?_ He would fight tooth and claw to drive those fox-hearted warriors out. His paws stopped shaking and began to itch for battle.

“ Always keep an eye out behind you!” Whitewing fell in beside him to give him some breathless advice. “ShadowClan fight dirty. You’re fast and strong, even though you’re small. You’ll be nimbler than some of their warriors. Use that to your advantage.”

As they neared the border, he heard screeches and yowls.

“This way!” Firestar called. They plunged through the forest until Lionpaw could glimpse teeth and claws flashing in the gaps between the trees ahead.

ShadowClan warriors had surrounded Brambleclaw’s patrol, but the ThunderClan cats were standing their ground, lashing out at every cat within reach.

“Attack!” Firestar cried, and the ThunderClan warriors spread out and launched themselves into the battle.

“Head over there!” Spiderleg called to Lionpaw. He flicked his tail to the edge of the fighting. “Look for Jaypaw first and do what you can to defend him.”

Lionpaw raced forward, scanning the fray for Hollypaw and Jaypaw. He spotted Ashfur and Birchfall fighting side by side with Brightheart, fending off four ShadowClan warriors.

Jaypaw crouched behind them, pelt bristling with rage, slashing and jabbing at any ShadowClan warrior who made it through their defensive line. He didn’t seem to need any help.

Lionpaw’s heart thudded as he searched for Hollypaw’s black pelt. Had she been wounded? Relief glimmered for a moment when he saw her fighting beside Graystripe. The

gray warrior, ears flattened, his lips drawn back into a vicious snarl, raked the flank of a dark ginger ShadowClan warrior as it lunged for Hollypaw.

 _Russetfur!_ Lionpaw recognized the ShadowClan deputy.

Hollypaw ducked under Graystripe and shot out from beneath him, nipping the ShadowClan deputy on her hind leg with such ferocity that the warrior whipped around, claws flashing, and lunged at Hollypaw. Lionpaw pelted to his sister’s defense, hurling himself at Russetfur and slashing her nose. The ShadowClan deputy howled in pain as crimson blood welled beneath her eyes.

“Nice work!” Graystripe called. 

As he spoke, two ShadowClan cats slammed into him, knocking him to the ground. The larger of the pair, a black tom, pressed him to the ground, while the smaller white she-cat reared on her hind legs, flexing her long claws, ready to crash down on Graystripe’s head.

Orange fur blazed past Lionpaw as Firestar flew at the white warrior. He threw the ShadowClan warrior backward and slashed her cheek with a well-aimed blow.

Lionpaw leaped onto the black tom who was pinning Graystripe to the ground. He dug in his claws and bit hard into the tom’s shoulder. The warrior let go of Graystripe and reared backward. At once Hollypaw darted behind him and knocked the tom’s paws out from under him. Lionpaw leaped off as the warrior crashed down.

“Great move!” Lionpaw called to Hollypaw.

“He’s not finished yet,” she warned.

The black tom was already on his paws, hissing ferociously, but Lionpaw and Hollypaw faced him side by side, and, jabbing and slashing with their forepaws, they drove him back toward the border until he was panting and streaked with blood.

Suddenly Lionpaw spotted Oakfur slinking through the bracken toward Firestar, fox-length away. The ThunderClan leader still had the white warrior pinned to the ground, unaware of Oakfur’s stealthy approach. Before Lionpaw could warn him, Oakfur had leaped onto Firestar’s back and grabbed the ThunderClan leader’s neck in his jaws. The white warrior struggled from Firestar’s grip and nipped at his front paws until the ThunderClan leader fell to the ground. He vanished beneath the two snarling ShadowClan warriors.

“Can you manage by yourself?” Lionpaw screeched to Hollypaw.

“I’ll help her,” Graystripe growled, leaping in beside her.

Lionpaw threw himself at Oakfur, clamping his jaws around the ShadowClan warrior’s tail. _This is for calling Jaypaw worthless!_ he thought as he bit down with all his strength. Oakfur screeched and let go of Firestar. Firestar leaped to his paws and whipped around to grab Oakfur by the scruff. As he held Oakfur in his jaws, he kicked out with his powerful hind legs and sent the white warrior sprawling into the bracken. Then he flung Oakfur with all his might against a tree. Oakfur hit it with such force that the branches trembled and he fell to the ground, dazed.

Seeing that Firestar was safe, Lionpaw turned back to Hollypaw. He expected to see her still fighting beside Graystripe, but she stood alone in a space among the battling cats. Graystripe had left her undefended.

“Watch out!” Lionpaw gasped, his heart lurching as he saw Smokefoot rushing up behind his sister. Graystripe was two tail-lengths away, pulling a ShadowClan warrior off Millie. The former kittypet leaped to her paws.

“Go back and help Hollypaw!” Millie yowled to Graystripe. “I can take care of myself!” She lashed out with her front claws at the ShadowClan warrior and sent him screeching away with a blow that sprayed his blood across the forest floor.

Smokefoot was on top of Hollypaw, raking his claws along her flank, but Graystripe wrestled him to the ground and pummeled his belly with his thorn-sharp hind claws.

Lionpaw darted to Hollypaw’s side as Smokefoot yowled in pain, and Graystripe let the tom flee across the border.

“Drive the rest into the brambles!” Graystripe ordered.

“What?” Spiderleg yowled in disbelief.

“That’ll only make it harder to fight them!” Birchfall called.

“Harder for ShadowClan!” Hollypaw hissed in Lionpaw’s ear. “They don’t have brambles in the pine forest.”

Firestar nodded grimly. “They’re not used to fighting in undergrowth!” he called. “Do as Graystripe says!”

“Everyone, spread out behind me!” Brambleclaw’s order split the air. He had spun around so that his back was to the ShadowClan border. The ThunderClan cats drew away from their enemy long enough to reposition themselves around their deputy. Confused, the ShadowClan warriors stared about them. Suddenly they were trapped on the wrong side of their border. Then Brambleclaw charged forward, his warriors flanking him on either side, and they began to press the ShadowClan warriors deeper into ThunderClan territory, where a tangle of brambles covered the forest floor.

Lionpaw spotted Jaypaw lashing out at Owlpaw. The ShadowClan apprentice was playing with Jaypaw, ducking the blows and teasing him with jabs and taunts. Lionpaw raced to his brother’s side. “You’re nothing but a coward,” he growled at Owlpaw.

Owlpaw thrashed his tail. “I’ll show you I’m not a coward!” He lashed out and caught Jaypaw’s muzzle with his claw.

Jaypaw gasped with pain, but he didn’t recoil, flailing his unsheathed claws more fiercely than ever.

“He’s ducking,” Lionpaw hissed to his brother.

Jaypaw instantly aimed his blows downward and raked Owlpaw’s ears. Jaypaw gave a yowl of satisfaction.

“He’s trying to get behind you now,” Lionpaw warned as Owlpaw scooted past Jaypaw and balanced himself, ready to leap at the tabby apprentice. Lionpaw spun around, every instinct crying out to take Owlpaw on himself. But he knew Jaypaw would never forgive him for fighting his battle for him, and besides, Jaypaw had already turned nimbly around and was pummeling Owlpaw with his forepaws. Owlpaw tried to duck, but Jaypaw had learned that trick, and the instant Owlpaw lowered his head, Jaypaw leaped on top of him and rolled the ShadowClan apprentice onto his back. He clung to his fur and raked his hind claws along Owlpaw’s spine until the ShadowClan apprentice begged for mercy.

“Get off!” he shrieked, and Jaypaw let go.

Owlpaw scrambled to his feet and spat at Jaypaw, ready to attack again, but Lionpaw fixed him with a threatening stare, and Owlpaw, faced by the pair of them, backed away, snarling. 

The ShadowClan warriors were beginning to trip on the brambles, struggling as much against the thorns that clawed their pelts as against the ThunderClan warriors who were forcing them farther and farther into the bush. Sandstorm’s tail lashed triumphantly as a ShadowClan warrior cowered beneath her blows. Beside her, Whitewing nipped at a mottled apprentice as he tried to battle past her out of the clinging thorns. Brook and Stormfur worked together, jabbing at Smokefoot with merciless claws as he struggled farther into the brambles to escape them.

Russetfur stared in dismay at her warriors thrashing helplessly in the undergrowth. “Retreat!” she yowled.

The ShadowClan cats scrambled out of the brambles, leaving clumps of fur behind as they pelted past the ThunderClan warriors and fled back into their own territory.

Lionpaw scanned the battered ThunderClan cats. “Hollypaw!”

“I’m over here!” Hollypaw squirmed backward out of the undergrowth, her bushy tail pricked with thorns.

“Is everyone okay?” Firestar staggered out, his muzzle crimson with blood.

“Sandstorm’s twisted her paw.” Brambleclaw was standing beside the ginger-colored warrior as she licked at a forepaw.

“It’s just a sprain,” she reassured him.

“Stormfur?” Firestar looked at the gray warrior. “That looks like a bad cut on your shoulder.”

“It’ll heal,” Stormfur replied.

“I’ve lost a chunk of fur from my tail,” Spiderleg spat. “But it was worth it if ShadowClan thinks twice before trying to steal our territory again.”

“We need to make sure they’re all gone,” Firestar meowed.

“I’ll check,” Brook offered.

“Are you injured?”

“Just a torn ear.”

“Then take Spiderleg with you and search beyond the brambles,” Firestar ordered. “Make sure no cat went farther into our territory.”

Spiderleg and Brook hared away through the trees.

Ashfur flicked Lionpaw’s shoulder with his tail. “Thank StarClan you got help so quickly.”

“You held out well till we came,” Firestar praised him.

“Hollypaw fought like a warrior!” Birchfall commented.

“And Jaypaw never gave ground,” Brightheart added.

“We couldn’t let ShadowClan drive us from our own territory!” Graystripe growled.

Brambleclaw gazed across the clearing where the ShadowClan cats had fled. “We’re going to have to do something about ShadowClan before the next Gathering,” he vowed.

“Let’s start by remarking the correct boundary,” Firestar ordered. “Brambleclaw, you stay here with Ashfur and Birchfall and mark every tree twice along the border.”

Brambleclaw nodded.

“I’ll take the rest back to camp.”

“Can’t I stay with Ashfur?” Lionpaw begged.

Ashfur shook his head. “Go back to camp and get some ointment on those scratches. I want you back in training as soon as possible.”

Reluctantly, Lionpaw turned and followed his Clanmates. Sandstorm was limping, and Stormfur kept stopping to lick at the blood welling from the wound on his shoulder. Millie’s pelt was missing clumps of fur along her flank, but she was buzzing with the excitement that came from winning a battle, her ears pricked and her tail twitching.

Lionpaw caught up with Jaypaw and Hollypaw. “Did you see me jump on Oakfur?” he mewed proudly.

“I wish I had!” Hollypaw sounded even more excited than he felt. “I was too busy seeing to that tabby warrior.” Her eyes were glowing. “I used a move Cinderpaw taught me the other day. It was brilliant doing it for real!”

“And you showed Owlpaw that he’s no match for a Thun- derClan apprentice,” Lionpaw mewed to Jaypaw. The mottled apprentice was padding along quietly, tail down.

“Yeah, right,” he muttered.

“Hollypaw!” Leafpool had come out to meet the returning warriors. “Are there any serious injuries?”

Hollypaw blinked. “S-Stormfur has a scratch . . .” she stammered.

“Haven’t you checked?” Leafpool asked anxiously.

“Everyone can still walk,” Hollypaw offered.

“What about the tansy?” Leafpool pursued. “Did you find any?”

“Oh, yes,” Hollypaw mewed.

Leafpool looked at her questioningly. “Where is it?”

Hollypaw looked crestfallen. “We were going to pick some on our way back from hunting, and then Birchfall arrived to warn us that ShadowClan had moved the border, and Brambleclaw ordered us to—”

“It’s okay,” Leafpool meowed. “I’m proud that you fought with your Clanmates. But keep a lookout for any healing herbs on the way back to camp. There’ll be plenty of bites and scratches to treat when we get home. I’m going to check on the others.”

Hollypaw gazed at the undergrowth. “Do you think that juniper would do?” she murmured as they passed a large bush dotted with dark berries.

“The horsetail growing next to it would be better,” Jaypaw advised.

Hollypaw closed her eyes. “Horsetail—good for infections,” she recited. Then she hurried over to the clump of spindly plants and tore one out by its roots.

Lionpaw could feel his scratches beginning to sting. His muscles ached from the battle, and when they reached the camp he padded to the halfrock and collapsed beside it. Jaypaw climbed onto the smooth, low rock and hung his head over the side, while Hollypaw dropped the horsetail she’d been dragging and flopped down beside them.

“I still can’t believe we fought real warriors,” she breathed.

Jaypaw just stared blankly at the ground.

“Why are you looking so miserable?” Lionpaw asked him. “You fought brilliantly.”

“Only with your help,” Jaypaw pointed out.

“Every warrior needs help—that’s what being in a Clan is all about!” Hollypaw reminded him.

“We had to work together to drive off one of ShadowClan’s warriors,” Lionpaw added.

“I couldn’t even manage an apprentice by myself,” Jaypaw mewed, flicking the tip of his tail. “They called me a worthless kit. Perhaps they’re right. Perhaps I’m just kidding myself, thinking I could ever be a real warrior.”

“Hollypaw!” Leafpool called from the clearing where the rest of the patrol were licking their wounds. “I can’t see to all the injured warriors by myself.”

Hollypaw leaped to her paws. “Coming, Leafpool,” she mewed. “Sorry!” She stripped a leaf from the horsetail and scampered over to where Millie and Graystripe lay.

Lionpaw longed to cheer Jaypaw up, but this was one bat-tle his brother would have to fight by himself. However much he prayed to StarClan, there was nothing Lionpaw could do to help Jaypaw see.

At least Hollypaw had enjoyed the fight with ShadowClan. Lionpaw watched her, letting his weary paws rest, as she chewed up the horsetail leaf and began licking the juice into Millie’s scratches. Every time Millie flinched, Hollypaw leaped away, screwing up her face. A small worry began to flutter like a trapped bird in Lionpaw’s belly. Hollypaw seemed so ill at ease now, her awkward movements nothing like the fluid grace with which she fought. She’d raced into battle, her eyes glowing at the challenge, but here she was fumbling among her injured Clanmates, her gaze shadowed by uncertainty. A strange thought pricked Lionpaw like a thorn in his bedding: _Does Hollypaw really want to be a medicine cat?_

  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ableism tw**

“Squirrelflight, take Cloudtail, Cinderpaw, Thornclaw, and Poppypaw and bring back as much fresh-kill as you can.” Jaypaw lay on the halfrock and listened as Firestar gave the order. “Our warriors will be hungry tonight.”

Jaypaw dangled his tired paws over the edge of the half-rock, feeling the cold stone soothe his aching body. The battle had left him battered and scratched, but he could tend to his own wounds. 

Leafpool left a trail of marigold scent in her wake as she went to apply a salve to the scratches on Stormfur’s shoulder. Hollypaw was busy treating Millie, though Jaypaw was confused when he detected revulsion rather than concern pulsing through his sister’s paws as she applied the pungent horsetail balm. Something was upsetting her, but he was too busy with his own thoughts to probe Hollypaw’s much further.

He kept wondering if he could have beaten Owlpaw without Lionpaw’s help. Stubbornly he told himself that he could. He’d been able to pinpoint the ShadowClan’s apprentice by scent and sound. But a nagging doubt gnawed at his belly.

The battle had been so fast, he just hadn’t been able to keep up. The sound of Owlpaw’s breath in one ear had not warned him of the fierce jab that had raked the other. The thud of the ShadowClan apprentice’s paws on the leaves had been drowned by the cries of the other warriors, and Jaypaw had twisted and spun, only to find Owlpaw had darted around him already and was clawing him from behind.

He would never be a warrior.

The crushing conclusion stabbed his heart, and he felt his body grow heavy and sluggish. He had wanted it so bad; just someone to believe in him. Someone who wouldn’t lie to him. Brightheart didn’t trust him enough to let him walk in the forest alone, and even his father couldn’t let him do something as simple as hop down from a log! Was he truly that helpless? Why did he have to be so _worthless._ Something caught in his throat, but he choked back the sound harshly. How pathetic could he be to break down here? 

It was the one thing he wanted above all. But he had to accept that he couldn’t fight alone. Fury raged inside him like a badger cornered in its set. His whisker trembled as he fought back a cry.

 _I don’t know of any medicine cat with visions as powerful as that._ Leafpool’s words echoed in his head. _I think that you were destined to be a medicine cat._

All his life he had imagined growing up to be a warrior. Why would he feel that way if StarClan had planned another destiny for him?

“Brambleclaw!” Firestar welcomed his deputy back into camp. Jaypaw had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed his father’s return.

“We’ve re-marked the trees and covered the stench of ShadowClan,” Brambleclaw reported.

Something was bothering him; Jaypaw could sense hesitation tripping his father’s tongue.

“Oakfur claimed ShadowClan had a right to our territory because ThunderClan has so many cats who are not...” Brambleclaw paused awkwardly. “Who are not Clanborn.”

“So ShadowClan still believe a cat must be Clanborn to become a warrior,” Firestar growled.

“I told him that every cat in ThunderClan is a warrior,” Brambleclaw meowed.

“Good.” Firestar raised his voice so that every cat in the clearing could hear him. “There is not a single cat in ThunderClan who does not deserve to be here!”

Anxiety flashed from Dustpelt. “But there is truth in what ShadowClan says.” The tabby warrior’s words cracked the air like a stone hitting ice. “ThunderClan has taken in more cats than any other. That alone leaves us open to criticism from other Clans.”

Stormfur got to his paws. “Do we care what the other Clans think?” he snarled. “I was raised in RiverClan, but does any cat here doubt my loyalty to ThunderClan?”

“Your father was a ThunderClan warrior,” Dustpelt pointed out. “You have ThunderClan blood.”

“And what about those of us who don’t?” Hazelpaw protested, her soft gray-and-white pelt bristling. “I was born in the horseplace with Berrypaw and Mousepaw. Does any cat think we are not worthy to train as warriors?”

“Of course not!” Graystripe called. “Belonging has nothing to do with blood! I was born pure ThunderClan, yet I am more of a stranger here now than any cat. Millie was a kittypet only moons ago, but she fought as hard as Firestar to drive off ShadowClan today—and so did Brook!” His eyes flashed toward the Tribe cat, who blinked her thanks.

Sorreltail mewed loudly in agreement. “Loyalty is proved by what we do, not where we came from!”

Jaypaw jerked his head up. He could sense doubt pulsing from Hollypaw, horsetail balm still fragrant on her paws. “But the warrior code tells us we should drive strangers from our territory,” she mewed uncertainly.

“We have taken in any cat who has asked us for help,” Firestar meowed. “Does the warrior code condemn us for showing mercy?”

“N-no,” murmured Hollypaw.

“And every cat we have taken in has helped make ThunderClan stronger!” Firestar went on. Mews of agreement rose from the other cats.

“But,” Firestar added, “Brambleclaw is right to tell me what ShadowClan has said.”

“When have we let the other Clans tell us what to do?” Graystripe challenged.

“ _Never_. At the next Gathering I will make it clear that ThunderClan’s business is its own,” Firestar promised. “We will defend our borders as we have always done and let no Clan interfere in our decisions.”

A ripple of approval passed around the hollow, but Jaypaw still sensed tension. He knew from furtive worried whispers that he was not the only cat who wondered how ThunderClan’s mixed blood might change the way the other Clans saw them, or even the way StarClan thought of them.

  
  


The other apprentices were asleep, the air sighing with their gentle breathing. But

Jaypaw was wide awake. Leafpool’s words still haunted him. He kept trying to persuade himself that he could learn how to be a warrior, that his fighting skills would improve. But every time he thought it, the hope became hollower.

He would go to the Moonpool. Perhaps there would be an answer for him there. Quietly he slipped out of the den. An icy wind stirred the bare branches of the trees; he would need to move very quietly, because every sound would travel far. 

Brackenfur was guarding the camp entrance. Jaypaw could smell his scent. If the warrior turned him back then he would find another way out of the camp.

“You’re out late,” Brackenfur observed.

“I can’t sleep.”

“It can be like that after a battle,” Brackenfur meowed.

“I’m going into the forest.” Jaypaw waited for surprise to flash from Brackenfur, but the warrior did not flinch.

“Do you want me to go with you?” he offered. “Brook won’t mind starting her watch early.”

“No, thanks.”

“You need some time alone,” Brackenfur guessed.

Jaypaw nodded, and Brackenfur went on, “At least it’s quiet tonight. But I’ll keep my ears pricked for you, just in case.”

“Thanks, Brackenfur.” Jaypaw was relieved he had at least one Clanmate who didn’t fuss over him as though he were a newborn kit. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he called as he padded away from the entrance.

As he climbed the slope, the leaves slippery with frost beneath his paws, Jaypaw started to feel less eaten up with anxious thoughts. The noisy buzz and flow of the Clan, which invaded his senses like mosquitoes nipping at his ears, was gone. He followed the route he’d taken with Leafpool toward WindClan territory; the memory of it seemed burned into his paws as they retraced the path that grazed the WindClan border and led up into the hills.

His ears were sharp enough to hear the tumbling of the stream before his paws felt the ground turn to rock. His nose twitched, smelling for danger, but he scented nothing other than clean, fresh air rolling down from the mountains. He followed the stream steadily upward until he was scrambling up the rocks that led to the bushes circling the hollow. The whispering voices, the softly walking cats who weren’t there, surrounded him again. Their presence was oddly reassuring, as if they had come to welcome him.

Jaypaw paused at the top of the spiraling path; though his eyes saw nothing, he could clearly picture the sloping walls of the hollow and the pool below cradling the moon. The whispering grew louder until it became a droning purr that echoed around the rocks. As he followed the path down to the Moonpool, his ears twitched, straining to make out words from the murmuring sigh.

“You are welcome, Jaypaw.”

“Come, Jaypaw.”

Scents flooded around him, the scents of cats he had no memory of, yet who seemed familiar.

“Dream with us, Jaypaw.”

A pelt brushed his and then another as the cats guided him down to the pool. A faint memory stirred of a long, snowy journey, where his mother’s voice had comforted him and two soft pelts had urged him on.

Jaypaw stopped at the edge of the pool and lay down on the smooth stone shore. Closing his eyes, he touched the water with his nose.

He opened his eyes to the familiar scene of lush woodland. He felt the familiar warm air brush along his fur, just as it had been in his dream. The tees still reached tall into the vast sky above his head.

And as it had been in his previous dream, there were no StarClan cats surrounding him. It was empty, just as it had been. His ancestors hadn’t come to greet him, and he was alone.

Jaypaw felt something akin to frustration, but it was numbed out by the heaviness that had sunken into his bones earlier that day. Even in this state, he felt like dead weight. Glancing at the vast array of trees ahead of him, Jaypaw sighed. He rose to his paws, and wandered once more into the forest.

 _It’s not like this is the only place my ancestors reside_ , he thought. _I think I know of another way._

Walking through the wooded shelter wasn’t much different than the last time. Just as it had before, the forest was warm and peaceful. Bright assortments of flowers were littered about the lush grass, blending perfectly into the vibrant mess. Jaypaw blinked away the stinging feeling the colors gave his eyes, and pushed onward. Now that he wasn’t running, he could faintly hear prey scampering about in the undergrowth. If he had cared enough to try, Jaypaw would’ve caught something for sure.

Slowly, the trees molded into something ugly. Mushrooms began to sprout from the rotten trunks, and the ground beneath his pawpads squashed and stuck to his fur. The smell of must hit the back of his throat, and the familiar urge to vomit returned. 

The prickly sense of unease tickled his pelt as a sudden fog spread and clouded out his defined surroundings. 

“Jaypaw?”

His pelt stood on end, and he scanned the murky forest up ahead. Gradually he made out a figure that seemed familiar.

“Jaypaw!” the voice called again.

A second figure slipped from the cover of shadows and stood beside the first. Outlined against the fog, both shapes shared the same strong shoulders and broad muzzle.

“Yes?” Jaypaw mewed, his voice sounding tiny among the trees.

The two cats approached him and stopped, their tabby pelts as dark as the shadows beyond the trees.

“Welcome. Don’t be afraid. We are kin,” the larger cat meowed. “I am Tigerstar, your father’s father, and this is his brother, Hawkfrost.”

Jaypaw gulped. _Hawkfrost._ “I know.” he mewed.

Tigerstar blinked. “We’ve met once before, actually. Do you remember?”

“Yes.” Jaypaw dug his toes into the mushy dirty. “I hadn’t meant to surprise you.”

“Of course,” Hawkfrost meowed smoothly. “It was quite impressive that you managed to stay hidden for so long.”

“We watched you in battle earlier,” Tigerstar purred. “I am glad to see you have inherited your father’s skill.”

Hawkfrost’s piercing blue gaze bore into Jaypaw’s own eyes. “Brambleclaw is blessed to have three fine kits,” he added.

Jaypaw narrowed his eyes. Why were they complimenting him when they must know he couldn’t fight as well as he wanted to?

As though reading his thoughts, Tigerstar went on, “We can teach you how to improve your skills if you like,” he offered, his voice smooth as honey.

Jaypaw searched the massive tom’s gaze, hunting out the sentiment that lay behind his words. To his surprise he found murky darkness where he would normally have sensed feeling and thoughts. He shifted his paws uneasily. “I-I’m not sure I _can_ become a warrior,” he confessed.

“How can any kin of mine say such a thing?” Tigerstar snorted. “It is bad enough that I have to watch Mothwing wasting her talents as a medicine cat.” His whiskers twitched. “At least Hollypaw is finally starting to realize that her talents lie not in pandering to the weak and the sick.”

“Hollypaw?” Jaypaw echoed. These cats spoke as if they knew where her destiny lie.

“Why don’t you let us teach you some fighting moves?” Hawkfrost urged. “Once you see how easy they are for you, you’ll realize that you were born to lead your Clanmates in battle, not spend all your time in the camp with herbs and poultices.”

Jaypaw flicked his tail. Brightheart hadn’t taught him anything about fighting. She must obviously think it'd be a waste of time to train a blind cat. He might have done better in the battle against ShadowClan if she’d shown him some basic techniques.

And here were these two cats, offering to help him despite his blindness. Something fluttered in his chest, and he looked up at the two toms once more. Tigerstar was regarding him with a warm smile, while Hawkfrost gazed down at him, a gleam in his eye. These cats could _really_ help him.

“You really think I could get better?” Jaypaw asked hopefully, searching the cats faces for any sign of deception.

“Of course.” Hawkfrost padded up to him, purring. “Once we’re done with you, you’ll be one of the best warriors in all the Clans.”

A swish in the ferns far behind him made Jaypaw glance over his shoulder.

“Who’s there?” Tigerstar called.

“I have come to fetch Jaypaw back where he belongs.”

Jaypaw recognized the mew at once and, as the cat emerged through the mist, he recognized the pretty tortoiseshell pelt as well. “Spottedleaf!” he mewed.

Spottedleaf nodded but did not take her eyes off Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.

“Do you know this cat?” Tigerstar asked Jaypaw.

“She helped me when I fell over the cliff,” Jaypaw explained.

“You shouldn’t have wandered this far, Jaypaw,” Spottedleaf warned him.

“Nor should you.” Tigerstar glared at the medicine cat. “How did you cross the border?”

“I come with the permission of StarClan,” Spottedleaf replied, meeting his gaze with a challenging stare.

“Did they give Jaypaw permission too?” Tigerstar inquired, tipping his head to one side.

Spottedleaf did not answer. Instead she looked at Jaypaw.

“Come back with me,” she ordered.

“What about Tigerstar and Hawkfrost? Can they come too?”

“They have chosen their own path,” Spottedleaf replied. She turned back and waited for Jaypaw to follow.

But Jaypaw hesitated. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost had offered to give him what he wanted most.

“Jaypaw!” Spottedleaf called more urgently.

With a longing glance, Jaypaw shuffled after the she-cat. Why did she have to take him away from his chances of becoming a warrior?

As she led him back through the mist, he glanced over his shoulder. Tigerstar’s eyes blazed like fire even after his pelt had been swallowed by the gloom.

Spottedleaf broke into a run, and Jaypaw raced after her. His paws carried him lightly through the shadowy forest until the trees became leafier, their branches dipping once more to

brush the undergrowth. Fern tips caressed his spine, and a feeling of freedom and safety enfolded him once more. 

Spottedleaf drew to a halt. “You must not go there again,” she told him.

“Why not?” Jaypaw asked.

“Tell me why you came to share with StarClan,” Spottedleaf prompted.

Resentment jabbed Jaypaw’s belly. If she wasn’t going to answer his questions, he wasn’t going to answer hers. “I came because I could,” he answered huffily.

Spottedleaf narrowed her eyes. “You came to find out where your true destiny lies, didn’t you?”

Jaypaw blinked. “How did you know?”

“How did you find your way to the Moonpool when you are blind?” she countered.

“Are you going to answer all my questions with more questions?”

Spottedleaf sighed. “Sorry,” she mewed. “But I cannot tell you more than you are ready to know.”

“I’m ready to know everything!” Jaypaw insisted. “Why does StarClan make it so hard to get answers?”

“Because they fear for you,” Spottedleaf answered, her eyes darkening.

Jaypaw snorted. Even StarClan were treating him like he couldn't handle himself! “Tigerstar and Hawkfrost don’t seem worried about me,” he snapped. “They think I’m destined to be a warrior!”

“Do you trust them?”

“I barely got to know them before you burst in!” He growled. “They’re my kin!”

Spottedleaf’s eyes burned into his. “Blood is not everything, young one.”

He could sense something else inside her, affection tinged with sorrow. Concentrating hard, a flame-colored cat, green eyes clouded with grief...he tracked the feeling, following it like a shimmering stream: a Firestar! This StarClan cat was in love with his grandfather?! But how could that be? Spottedleaf had left the forest long ago, and Firestar had another Sandstorm. Jaypaw searched further. There was more, he knew, some knowledge obscured by shadows, something he could not name….

“You have a remarkable gift,” she mewed. Her eyes were wary, as though she’d felt him probing her mind. “You can see what no other cat sees. You can go where even StarClan cannot. You must use this power for the good of your Clan.”

“But how?” Jaypaw asked.

“You must become a medicine cat,” Spottedleaf meowed.

_No!_

He didn’t want to hear that. He wanted to believe Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.

“I want to be a warrior!”

“But you have a gift!”

“Seeing in dreams? That’s not a gift. The rest of the Clan see all the time!”

“But they don’t see what you do. They can’t go where you go.”

“So I can visit StarClan! Big deal!”

“It is a big deal!” Spottedleaf hissed.

“But where does it get me?” Jaypaw argued. “The rest of my Clan think I’m useless.”

“They don’t know the power that you have.”

“Power?” Jaypaw echoed.

Spottedleaf was trembling now. “Jaypaw, you have power enough to shape the destiny of your entire Clan.”

Jaypaw stared at her. “But I want to be a warrior!”

“Accept your destiny!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I know.” The medicine cat’s voice suddenly grew soft. She brushed his muzzle with her tail, silencing him. Jaypaw felt weariness spread through his limbs, dragging him toward sleep. “Your gift is not a burden,” she whispered. “But you must be brave, because it has more power than the sharpest claw…”

The fog began to tug at his mind, but he pulled himself back to Spottedleaf.

“No!” he screeched, fur bristling. “I don’t care about my destiny or my dreams, _I_ want to become a warrior!”

“You must accept it!” Spottedleaf yelled back, and the sleepiness yanked at Jaypaw once more.

But he would not give up.

“I will become a warrior!” he hissed. “And you can’t stop me!”

Jaypaw glared at Spottedleaf, but was shocked to see terror in her amber eyes. Her face was contorted in surprise, and her fur stood on end. That was the last thing Jaypaw saw before he jolted awake. His blue eyes shot open, but were greeted with nothing.

The world was empty once more, and his body ached with cold. He was lying beside the Moonpool. The cool water tickled his nose, but he repressed the urge to sneeze. Slowly he got to his paws and stretched. The image of StarClan’s hunting grounds was still fresh in his mind as he followed the path out of the hollow.

_More power than the sharpest claw…_

Jaypaw envisioned the look of terror on Spottedleaf’s face as he was thrown out of the starry field. What did he do to make her so fearful? He had only wanted her to hear him. He didn’t want to be stuck in a medicine den for the rest of his life. That’s not what he wanted. 

As he reached the top of the hollow, Jaypaw glanced over his shoulder.

The hollow was filled with starlight—he knew it as surely as if he could see it. The Moonpool was radiant beneath the brilliant light, and every rock and stone shone like crystal. The whispering that had followed him down to the Moonpool rose again until the voices swirled around him like a relentless wind.

_Accept your destiny, Jaypaw._

Jaypaw’s whiskers quivered, and the familiar feeling of heaviness weighed on his body once more. Grief wracked his body in hard shakes, and he called out to the sky in sorrow. 

“ _I will become a warrior!”_ he yowled, voice wavering. “ _I will become a warrior!”_

_Accept your destiny, Jaypaw._

He kept yelling out the same words, hoping--praying that the stars would listen. He--he didn’t want to accept it. Why would he if he had dreamed of it his entire life? But as his body grew tired and his voice grew hoarse, a simple fact settled itself in his stomach like a deathberry.

Even the stars didn’t believe in him. No matter how far he ran, however many moons he searched, StarClan would never let him escape his destiny.

  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ABLEISM TW FOR THIS CHAPTER**  
> thank you guys for the nice comments! i see them all and i really appreciate and love all of them. any feedback is valuable, so if you have anything to say don't be afraid to comment it. enjoy!

Hollypaw woke up long before dawn. The walls of the medicine den glistened with frost. She had tossed and turned for most of the night, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. All she could think of was how exciting the battle with

ShadowClan had been, and how impossible her apprentice

duties had seemed afterward, when she’d been faced with so many injured warriors. Why did healing seem to involve inflicting _more_ suffering first?

She stretched and crept out of her nest. Her body ached, but the bruises and scratches had been worth it to see the ShadowClan warriors fleeing across the border like terrified rats. She glanced at Leafpool, who was still asleep. The medicine cat’s breath billowed in the freezing air. Careful not to disturb her, Hollypaw slipped out of the den. The brambles at the entrance were stiff with ice, and crackled as she nosed her way out.

The clearing was empty. Even the forest was silent, as though the cold had frozen every leaf, and the dawn sky glowed pink behind the frost-whitened branches at the top of the hollow. She looked hopefully toward the fresh-kill pile. It was empty. The sudden cold had already driven most of the prey deep into their burrows, and the cats would have to wait until hunger drew them out into the open once more. Perhaps she could find something outside the camp. Ferncloud and her kits would need food once the sun rose. She padded across the clearing and out through the thorn barrier.

Brook paced outside the entrance, her thick fur sparkling with frost. She jerked her head around when she heard Hollypaw’s pawsteps.

“You’re awake early.”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Hollypaw yawned. “Has the dawn patrol left yet?”

“Not yet.”

“I thought I could find some prey for Ferncloud,” Hollypaw explained.

Brook gazed at her curiously. “That’s kind, but won’t Leafpool need you this morning?”

Hollypaw sighed.

“Such a troubled sigh for one so young,” Brook meowed, her gray eyes softening with concern.

“Leafpool would probably get on better without me,” Hollypaw muttered.

“Surely not,” Brook meowed. “She couldn’t have managed to treat everyone without your help yesterday.”

“She almost had to,” Hollypaw confessed. “I was so excited after the battle, I completely forgot that I was a medicine cat apprentice. And then when I tried to help, it was awful. I had to make my Clanmates swallow foul-tasting leaves. And the balms seemed only to make the wounds sting more. It didn’t feel like I was helping at all.” She sat down miserably. “I thought that I could serve my Clanmates best as a medicine cat. That’s why I asked to be Leafpool’s apprentice. She’s so important to the Clan.”

“You want to be important?” Brook queried.

Hollypaw thought for a moment. It was more complicated than that. “Everyone respects Leafpool and listens to what she says.”

“But is being listened to and respected the same as serving your Clan?”

Hollypaw glanced up at the mountain cat. Brook’s eyes were round with sympathy. “I guess not,” she mewed. “I just thought it would be the best way to help the Clan.”

“And now you think differently?”

“I don’t think I can help the Clan at all as a medicine cat,” Hollypaw mewed quietly. “I can’t remember the names of the herbs. I feel more excited about fighting ShadowClan than fighting sickness. And I’d rather hunt for mice than borage or tansy.” Frustration welled inside her. “It’s all gone wrong! No cat will ever respect me now.”

Brook ran her the tip of her tail down Hollypaw’s back. “Cats win respect from their Clanmates by being loyal and brave, not holding important positions,” she meowed. “Did you think Graystripe less important than Brambleclaw when you fought beside him yesterday? Or Lionpaw less important than Leafpool when he helped you drive off that ShadowClan tom?”

Hollypaw shook her head.

“It is hard for someone so young to make such big choices,” the mountain cat went on. “When I was with the Tribe of Rushing Water, there were no such choices. All duties were divided into hunting or guarding. Prey-hunters like me were thin and lithe; guards were stocky and strong. The decision was made from birth which duty a cat would perform best.”

Hollypaw was shocked. “You couldn’t choose at all?”

“It wasn’t impossible for a cave-guard to be a prey-hunter or a prey-hunter to be a cave-guard, but generally it was a good way to make sure each cat made the best use of the strengths they were born with.”

“I wasn’t born with a head for herbs.” Hollypaw sighed.

“Think of your strengths, not your weaknesses,” Brook urged her. “As a Clan cat, you have the freedom to shape your own destiny, which Tribe cats never have. Use that freedom wisely.”

Hollypaw remembered her battle training with Cinderpaw. Every move had come so naturally. Even Cloudtail had been impressed. And in the battle she had known instinctively what she was doing when she had knocked that ShadowClan warrior’s paws from under him. “I can fight,” she mewed, flexing her claws.

“You have warrior strengths,” Brook agreed. “What better way to serve your Clan than by being the best warrior you can?”

Hollypaw’s heart felt lighter than it had for days.

“Don’t forget, though, you will have to tell Leafpool.”

Hollypaw sagged a little. “Of course.” She looked down at her paws. “She’ll think I’m letting her down.”

“Leafpool is wise enough to see where your gifts lie,” Brook meowed. “She will only think you are courageous for speaking up now, rather than struggling out of pride or stubbornness.”

“Do you think so?”

“You will be doing what is best for your Clan. Leafpool will know that.”

The sound of pawsteps inside the thorn barrier warned that the dawn patrol was preparing to leave. Hollypaw blinked gratefully at Brook. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Brook dipped her head and turned back to watch the forest. Hollypaw ducked through the thorn barrier just in time to avoid being swept aside by Graystripe, Sandstorm, and Honeypaw as they raced out. She knew what she had to do. She would become a regular apprentice like Lionpaw and Jaypaw, and work hard to serve her Clan as a warrior.

But first she had to tell Leafpool.

Stiffening her shoulders, Hollypaw nosed her way into the medicine den.

Leafpool was smearing honey onto a leaf. “Let’s hope this freezing weather breaks soon,” she muttered. “Longtail and Icekit both have sore throats.”

Hollypaw suddenly felt as if there were a thorn stuck in her chest. She was turning away from something she had set her heart on because she was not good enough. Sadness welled inside her. Should she be giving up so easily?

“What’s wrong, Hollypaw?” Leafpool looked up. “You look as though you’ve just lost our entire supply of poppy seeds!” Then her face grew serious. “You haven’t, have you?”

Hollypaw shook her head. “No. But I have something very important to tell you.” She forced herself to look her mentor in the eyes. “I can’t be a medicine cat apprentice anymore,” she mewed.

Leafpool blinked. “Why not?”

“I have to choose my destiny based on my strengths,” Hollypaw meowed. “I’m just no good at being a medicine cat. You must know that.”

“You are clever and hardworking. You can learn.”

“But it doesn’t feel right,” Hollypaw tried to explain. She tipped her head to one side. “Can’t you see how bad I am at remembering herbs? I was too mouse-hearted to pull even a thorn from Millie’s paw!”

“You aren’t a bad medicine cat because of a few bad moments.” Leafpool mewed. “You are young. We have plenty of time to get better.”

“But I’m much better at fighting!” Hollypaw imagined her swiftness in battle. “I didn’t forget anything when I was fighting ShadowClan.”

Leafpool looked down at her. “But you don’t _need_ to be swift in battle when you’re a medicine cat.”

“Exactly.” Hollypaw nodded, her heart aching. “I can’t do anything for the Clan if I stay cooped up here.

“So you want to train as a warrior instead.”

“I think it will be better for everyone if I do.”

Leafpool’s eyes clouded with sorrow. “I feel as though I’ve let you down.”

“No!” Hollypaw felt a stab of guilt. “You’ve been patient and kind. It’s just not right for me.”

“You would have been a good medicine cat.” Leafpool flicked her tail. “But I see that you want to be the _best_ at whatever you do.”

“I have to be, for the sake of my Clan.”

Leafpool stepped forward and brushed Hollypaw’s cheek with her muzzle. “You will make a wonderful warrior, Hollypaw,” she purred. “You have a warrior’s spirit—I have seen you being noble and loyal and brave, and now I see you sacrificing your ambition for the good of the Clan.” Her eyes shone. “I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

Leafpool’s words soothed the grief that pricked like a hedgehog at Hollypaw’s heart. I must go and tell Firestar so he can find me a new mentor.”

“There’s no rush,” Leafpool cautioned. “You might want to think about it some more.”

“Maybe.” Hollypaw meowed. There was something else...a feeling deep within her heart that made her paws itch. _I can go and hunt for Ferncloud while I decide for sure._ “I’m just going outside of camp. I’ll be back before the dawn patrol."

“Alright.” her aunt mewed wistfully. “Stay safe.”

“I will.” Hollypaw trotted away. 

Hollypaw padded out of the den and padded across the frost clearing. The camp was still silent, unsurprisingly. As she traveled through the thorny-barrier entrance once more, she let her mind float away. Was she really making the right decision? 

Memories of her final days in the nursery resurfaced: The nights she stayed up late, dreaming of becoming important to her Clan. She knew she might be better as a warrior, but what would that be compared to a medicine cat? The knowledge of battle moves seemed simple compared to the knowledge of herbs. Herbs that could be used to save a Clanmates’s life! And Leafpool had no problem with letting her train with the warriors, so perhaps she could learn _even more_ if she stayed a medicine cat apprentice. Would she really give up her connection to StarClan for the life of an ordinary cat? 

Hollypaw was out in the trees now. their large trunks glistened with ice and thawing raindrops. Hollypaw’s green eyes scanned the surrounding forest, searching for the faintest movement. After a moment, she saw nothing promising.

 _I should go further,_ Hollypaw decided. _Away from camp._

She bounded ahead, soft pads smacking the chilled earth at each step. The terrain grew familiar, and she realized that she had been here before! On one of her first days of training, her auntie Leafpool had showed her several herb-growing spots. There was a quick break in the trees, easy to miss if you weren’t careful. This is one of the spots one could find yarrow,

She slowed to a halt, staring at the frosted petals of the flower-like plant. The white blossoms almost glowed in the early morning light. It looked like the first snow she and her brothers had seen, when they were really little. The sudden comparison struck Hollypaw as strange, so she stopped to think about it. The memory was extremely hazy, but she definitely remembered Jaypaw and Lionpaw, who had been stumbling through the heavy snow beside her. 

Whatever the memory was, it wasn’t important now. She had better things to do than daydream; Ferncloud and her kits were hungry! 

Just then, a faint crunch sounded deeper in the patch of yarrow, and Hollypaw ducked immediately. She opened her mouth to scent, but the tang of medicine revealed nothing to her. Suddenly, a gray blur darted out in front of her.

 _Mouse!_ Hollypaw thought excitedly. 

Wiggling her hips, she launched herself forward. The mouse squeaked in alarm and scurried away. But it was too slow for Hollypaw. Digging her claws into the dirt, she kicked off once more and slammed her paws down hard on the rodent. She nipped it quickly on the back of it’s neck and it went limp in her jaws. Triumphant, she lifted her kill into the air, surprised to find it so plump. 

Perhaps it was really a sign of the melting leaf-bare. New-leaf was due to arrive any day now, and Hollypaw was excited to the vibrant leafy forest for the first time. Satisfied, she turned tail and padded off in the direction of camp. 

The sun now sat comfortably just above the horizon, peaking over the varied terrain of the forest. Warm beams of light painted Hollypaw’s pelt, making it look like it was ablaze. The feeling was kind, but Hollypaw felt more apprehensive than ever. She barely had time to think with all of the excitement going on around her, but she had gotten what she had left for. It wouldn’t hurt to lurk around camp anymore, would it? So long as she wasn’t eating the mouse, she wasn’t breaking any code.

 _No, remember Hollypaw._ She told herself. _Think of your Clanmates._

Sighing, she continued towards camp until a loud rustling shook the bushes beside her. Startled, she dropped her catch.

Out of the bushes stumbled a cat, movements sluggish and wild. Instantly she recognized the newcomer.

“Jaypaw?” Hollypaw mewed. From the way he stumbled wearily out of the bush, Hollypaw guessed her brother had been out all night. She trotted over to him. “You look exhausted! “Where have you been?”

Jaypaw’s eyes were bleary and his fur unkempt. “We need to get back to camp.”

Hollypaw felt unease creeping up her pelt. “Why? Is something wrong?”

“I’m tired, that’s all.” he grunted. 

_Odd..._ had something happened? Jaypaw suddenly pushed ahead and began to pad back towards camp and Hollypaw stared after him, suspicion prickling in her paws. 

She quickly hurried after him. “Jaypaw, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just forget about it.” he mumbled, speeding the speed of his pawsteps. 

“C’mon, Jay. You can tell me.”

Jaypaw didn’t respond, but he stopped walking. His blind eyes were dull as that stared blankly at the forest floor. 

“Please.” Hollypaw pleaded.

The worn-out apprentice sighed before flopping into a sitting position. The two siblings stood in an awkward silence, both waiting for the young tom to speak. 

“...Do you think I could become a warrior?” Jaypaw started.

Hollypaw blinked, surprised. _Is he still having doubts after the battle? But he was amazing!_

“Of course I do!” she replied, letting the disbelief seep through her tone. “You were able to rake Owlpaw’s ears off in the battle with ShadowClan; If that’s not a win then I don’t know what is.”

“But I couldn’t even do it on my own!” Jaypaw snapped. “Lionpaw had to help me when he was _right_ in front of my whiskers!” He scrunched his muzzle and dug his claws into the ground. “Even Brightheart doesn’t trust me enough to let me leave the Clan on my own.”

Hollypaw stared at her littermate, shocked into silence. Sure, she knew Jaypaw had his self-doubts like any other cat, but how long had he actually been feeling this way? 

“I’m sure Brightheart believes in you,” she reasoned. “Maybe she’s been busy with Longtail. They’re both your mentor, you know.”

Jaypaw shook his head. “All Longtail does is ramble on about things I already know how to do!” The tom suddenly turned to face Hollypaw directly, sightless eyes boring into her own. The she-cat took a step back, startled by the sudden stare. _How does he do that?_ She wondered.

“He thinks I can’t walk two paces before getting lost, like him! I don’t need a Mousefur-or any cat to carry me by the scruff wherever I go!” he spat vehemently. Hollypaw opened her mouth to speak, but Jaypaw wasn’t done.

“Even Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw, and Leafpool don’t trust me.” the apprentice twitched his whiskers. “But after the fox cub incident, I don’t blame them. What was a blind kit thinking? Wandering out of camp to get himself killed; he’ll never make it outside the camp at all.”

The black she-cat felt anger well inside her. They had _all_ gone fox-hunting that day; it wasn’t his fault alone! Why didn’t he realize that the three siblings 

“We _all_ got in trouble that day, Jaypaw.” she reminded him. “It was dumb, but we did it together.” The black she-cat placed her fluffy tail gently on the tom’s shoulder, aware of his tense shoulders. “We’re still learning, so it’s okay.”

Jaypaw tried to keep the anger clear on his face, but his features gradually softened. He sighed, turning his head away from his sister. “I just wish other cats saw it that way.”

“Well, I believe in you.” the medicine cat apprentice proclaimed. “And so does Lionpaw. If you want to earn your warrior name, then that’s what you’ll do.”

There was a moment of stillness, and no cat spoke. Hollypaw patiently watched Jaypaw, who was standing still in contemplation. The soft sounds of the forest echoed around the two; the dripping water from the frozen oaks pattered somewhere above them, and the gradually awakening birds sang their morning calls. Finally, the apprentice raised his head, squinting ahead in a way that would make one doubt his blindness.

“Then that’s what I’ll do.” he mewed confidently.


End file.
